"When's the last time you took responsibility over everything in your life," writes Mark Metry in his book, Screw Being Shy.
It was one of those passages where you have to close the book, look up at the ceiling, and ponder.
It makes you think, "Have I taken responsibility over everything in my life?"
Most people relate fault with responsibility.
It wasn't your fault your parents split up when you were 9.
It wasn't your fault that your company forced you to take early retirement.
It wasn't your fault that you were abused as a child.
It wasn't your fault that your little brother died.
But it is your responsibility for who you become over that event.
When you break the word responsible down, it's response-able. It's the ability to respond through action.
You may feel powerless in your life because you always mentally go back to that event, but if you want to reclaim your power in your life, then you're going to have to claim responsibility over it.
Sadly, most people never get this far because they look at responsibility and fault as the same thing, and they say, "It's not my fault." And you are right. It's not your fault, but if you can take responsibility over it, you'll claim your power and get to choose and shape what happens for your life ahead.
You can't go back to that situation, whether it's a person, a company, or an event. If you're always laying blame, then you'll remain powerless and a victim for the rest of your life.
How can you blame or change something that's not in your control?
You can't change that other person. You can't change your company's decision, but you can claim responsibility, make a decision, and act.
When things happen in our lives, people will tell us to get over it, right? That's hard to do. It's hard to get over certain events that rocked you, but you can begin to distance yourself from the event by claiming responsibility.
My life got worse and worse because I didn't take responsibility over everything in my life. It was so much easier to blame, explain, or excuse rather than to take responsibility and say, "I own it."
It's not to diminish that some of the events that happened in your life weren't horrific, but many times we get stuck because now that we're a little older wiser, we want to go back to those situations where we were powerless, and now that we have a little power, we want to right all the wrongs.
There are no erasers in life, but you can add pages.
If you begin to take responsibility for your life, you'll be unrecognizable a few years from now.
But what if it was your fault?
I've made many terrible decisions and hurt people in the process. They were my fault, and today they're my responsibility.
I can't change what's been done, but I can claim responsibility for who I become over those events.
Just because things happen in your life does not mean that's the track for the rest of your life, but the only way you're going to start changing is by first taking responsibility.
It's a tough pill to swallow, especially when people or your mind tries to bring you back to those events, but if you learn to instantly clip it off by saying, "I take responsibility over everything in my life," everything will change for you.
I'm pulling for you.
Remember, the greatest sale you will ever make is to sell you on you because you're more than enough. Stay amazing. Stay in The Sales Life.