EP 1022: Why You Keep Sabotaging Your Own Success | 3 Forces Working Against You

All right. Three, two, one, let's get it. This morning in my random reading, I'm reading Steven Pressfield's work- Steven Pressfield's book, Do the Work. And it's a book… It's a real small book. Like, if you haven't ever read any of Pressfield's books, I would encourage you to do so. They're, they're small reads. I haven't read it in years. And I don't know, I was listening to something on someone's podcast, and they mentioned his book, and I'm like,"Bro, I haven't read that book in a long time." So I cracked it open this morning, And so in that, he's talking about the three forces that are going to try to stop you from your success, whether it be that you're an entrepreneur or an artist. But when I say artist, I don't mean artist in the traditional sense like a canvas. That may be some of you. It may be that you're a musician. It may be that you do vlogs or you write online, or you're just… I, I believe as salespeople, we're an artist. Um, I, I think we all create art. And let me tell you, let me put it in a nutshell really what it, what it is. It's the… It's what you… It's, it's, it's sharing, showcasing your gifts, your talents, your calling in a vulnerable way to the world. And what I mean when I say vulnerable, I mean in the sense that it's, it's out there to be judged. And so anybody who is doing that, there are going to be three forces that are going to try to pull you down, and those three forces are resistance, rational thought, and friends and family. And we're gonna unpack that real quick. But let me, let me tell you how I look at the forces that are, are trying to sabotage your success. Resistance, rational thought, friends and family. I look at it like a John Wick movie. Uh, my wife gets mad at me 'cause every time John Wick is on, I watch it. Or let's say a kung fu movie. And y- you know when, when the fighter gets in there like… Well, let me just use John Wick. You know when John Wick walks into a room and all of a sudden he's surrounded by like legions of people, and they're all just like dancing around waiting to take him down? And so he just takes one u- one at a time. And so he fights one, and the other one is standing there in the shadows, and as soon as he gets rid of one, another one just jumps right on him. That's how I look at the three forces that are trying to take you down. Resistance, rational thought, and friends and family. I mean, it's just, it- it's just relentless. And in reading this, I realize that it's never going to go away. You're never going to arrive. You're never going to be at a point in your life. We all think that we're gonna be like rich enough, secluded enough, uh, optioned off from the, from the world, and we're just not gonna have, although we don't- Say it in this way, we're not gonna have to deal with any sort of resistance, we're not gonna have any friends and family try to tell… We're gonna just gonna have the perfect situation with that. The, all of our thoughts, the rational thoughts, I mean, they, it just all makes sense. Like, you just hit the money shot all day long. You are never, ever, ever going to arrive at that. Never. So stop deceiving yourself. And what I like about, in reading this, bro, I saw it this morning after I read this and I wrote it out, I just saw it in all kind of forms this morning, like, where you start negotiating with yourself or you start procrastinating or you start reasoning with yourself and it's just like, "Oh my God," it's, it's all over the place and it's universal. There is nobody, I don't care how rich and famous you are, I don't care if you ain't got a pot to piss in, everybody is facing resistance and will always face resistance. Now, Pressfield says this. He says, um, "Anything that rejects immediate gratification in the form of long-term growth, health or integrity, you can, you can expect an all-out assault." And you, you kinda think about it in your life when the times where you were just kind of a bum, where you just, I mean, you just didn't give a damn, and it, when you were of no threat to society of, of moving up, uh, then, uh, resistance was already doing its job. You just didn't really call it that. But it's, it's strange. It's like only when you, like, finally wake up and you're like, "Oh, hell no," and instead of caving to the craves, I like to say, instead of the immediate gratification of whatever it is, you finally plant your feet in the ground and you're like, "No, I've got some… This is bullshit. I've got somewhere higher to be and I'm going for that." And that's what he says. Anything that is, if it's long-term growth, if it's health or if it's integrity, resistance is coming straight at you and it ain't gonna stop. He talks about resistance in this way in a, in a few different forms I wanna unpack. So the first way is resistance is invisible. You, you can't see it, but you can feel it. And so resistance is gonna stop at nothing to try to distract you from doing the work, which is the name of his book. So doing anything that supports the growth, health, our integrity, resistance, you, you can't… And that's the thing, man, like, you, you can't see it coming. Resistance also is in- insidious. Insidious means gradual, sneaky. Uh, that's what it means. And I, I say this, like, resistance is very patient. And so it's going to… It, it's just going to just plod along. It, it has no emotion to it, so… And it's very patient. And it's got plenty of ammunition. It never runs out of gas. And so it's just, it's just gonna plod along. And so the way it works insidiously is through comfort and condemnation. The comfort part is where you're, like, busting your ass, you're trying to do something, and it'll tell you, it'll whisper comfort in your ear. It'll say, "Man, sleep in," or just, "Why don't you leave a little bit earlier? Why don't you take a little longer lunch?" Or, "Why don't you, why don't you just make this a cheat day?" Um, or, you know,"Why don't you just skip out on this report?" Or wh- whatever the case may be."Why don't you just not call these leads today? Why don't we just do it another day?" Whatever. And so it'll whisper comfort to you, but the minute that you skip and you forego, I say cave to the crave, the minute you fold, then condemnation is gonna kick in. At one minute it was your best friend, the next minute it's, it's your worst enemy. And the voice of condemnation just, "Bro, why did you skip that? Look at… You're just a loser. You can't, you can't even hold out for a week. You can't even do anything right." And it just, that's what happens, and it brings all of your past in, and it just condemns you is what it ends up doing Pressfield said, "If you take resistance at its word, you deserve everything that you get." There you have it right there. So, and that's what we do, man. We're like, "For real? Yeah. Yeah, I, I should. I have been working hard." Look at all that you've had to overcome, man. You … It … Look, just, just ease up. Because see, you're on this path for growth. You're on this path to get your health right. You're on this path for something more long-term, and resistance doesn't like that, and it's like, "Oh, no." So it's going to use everything it's got, and it's going to whisper the w- … Who knows you better than you? Resistance knows you very well. The third part is resistance is also infallible, and that means it never fails. Resistance is literally undefeated. It literally, it literally is. And because it's invisible and because it's insidious, then it just, it, it can't be destroyed. It's always gonna be there. It's always going to be present And Pressfield says, "The more important your calling, the more resistance you're gonna face." So those days where you are, like, you're rolling into the weekend and you're like, "My God, I mean, why can't I just catch a break? Why can't just something good go for me?" It's resistance. You think it's the world, like, picking on you, and that's not it at all. That's what resistance does. It's going to create this narrative and feed you this narrative. A- and some of that, too, when you think the world is out to get you, it was really already deep down inside anyway, you felt that way. And so this resistance that you're facing, Pressfield says you can use it. You can weaponize it. But really, what happens is it weaponizes against you. But if you do it the right way, here's the way I always look at it r- with resistance. If you face it head-on, it'll stop you. If you flex it in just the way, you'll take flight, and you have to use resistance in your favor. Let me trip you out with resistance. Resistance will actually use your calling, your skill, your talent, your gift to the world. It will actually weaponize that. I realized that this morning. I can't tell you… So, you know, every morning, I read and I write. And so I have read something, and it just, like, s- blew my soul up. And I'm like, "Oh, I gotta write this." And I get to writing, and my timer goes off. I'm like, "Oh no, this is too good. I gotta keep going." So I keep going, and then I'm like, "Oh no, I gotta go back over this again 'cause this is just too good. This is just too juicy." And then I go back through it again and I say, "Man, I gotta share this with the world." And you know what? I look at my time, and I'm like, "Oh, wait. You gotta work out." And I'm like,"Ah, I- I'll- I'll do it tonight." I mean, that's just what you gotta do, right? And you just, you just, you gotta work out tonight. I don't care how tired you are. You gonna go. You understand me? And I pack my clothes, and I put them in my book- book sack. And guess what? When it's time to go home, I don't. I don't do it. I don't head to the gym. I head home. And then I'm mad at myself because- I didn't get it done, and I knew I should have. What do you do? You eat bad to make yourself feel better, which only makes your situation worse. Done that a million times. W- resistance used my gift and said,"Oh no, you gotta get this out to the world," when the other part was, "I gotta take care of my long-term health." See, it, it, it took the, the health part and took it out and sabotaged. Like, what good is it for me to share something of value and I'm not even healthy to be able to see the long-term benefits? It's crazy, but I've done it countless times. That's how… Dude, resistance is the devil. That's how devilish this thing is, man. But you see it for what it is. When you see it for what it is, you're gonna see it all around you and be like, "Ah, okay, I see what you're up to." All right, let's move on. Uh, also, now let's go with the, uh… Oh, uh, before I say that, resistance is, uh, universal, it never sleeps, and it plays for keeps. That was the other three that he talked about, and they're, they're pretty much, I mean, self-explanatory on that. The second force against your success is rational thought. Rational thought, this is where you get into negotiating with yourself. Rational thought is where you… Uh, the way I look at rational thought is reasoning. Any reasoning that you can give to it, meaning that you can make it make sense. And, like, you can rationalize anything. That's what I tell my salespeople all the time. Like, you can rationalize every customer who tells you no. You can rationalize a perfect reason why they… It, it's understandable. I get it, why they're not gonna buy. You can rationalize it out of the way, and that's what happens in our lives. We start negotiating with ourselves. We rationalize it because we're always trying to find the cheat code. We're always trying to find the shortcut. We're always trying to work the 4-hour workweek, and it just doesn't work that way. You can't make a half a million dollars a year working, you know, four hours a day. It ain't gonna work. You can't eat bad and drink all the drinks you want and expect to have a beach body. It just don't work that way, yet that's what we do. We use rational thought to try to figure out some kinda stupid way to do it, and you… We know what the answer is. It just do- Hell, if, if that was the case for everybody, then America would be the fittest nation in the world, not the fattest. But it just don't work that way, so why are we kidding ourselves with that? So I see rational thought and friends and family uh, as subsets of, um, of resistance. I do. So when resistance Can't use, like, your own self against you, it'll, it'll, it'll deploy some reasoning, negotiating. It'll try that, and if that doesn't work, then it'll go to the friends and family. Friends and family is pretty self-explanatory. Look, friends and family, not all friends and family are out to get you. Okay? Some are. Some wanna keep you the way that you are. They don't want you to do better than them. But other friends and family, some, some people, bro, you just have to outgrow. And some people even outgrow some of your family members. You just love them where they are, you just outgrow them, and they're just not good for you. And so you just be respectful, but you just distance yourself from them. Because Pressfield says that family members and friends, in, in a weird way, they see you as you are, and so they work every day to kinda maintain that way, uh, maintain you that way. And so you don't even see it until… You'll probably see it today after you listen to this, but you don't even see it. And so they actually, just because they see you as you are, not as you should be, they're not really pushing you, they're limiting you, some on purpose, some not on purpose. Some people, like, you have someplace higher to go. Like, this is your dream. This is your mission. Like, so how could they really buy in on that? Because they didn't even do it for themselves. And so you're gonna see a lot of that also, where they just kind of, they limit you. They maintain you. And so seeing that for what it is, you just, hey, keep your process. I need to do a episode on process,'cause I haven't talked about it in some time, and it keeps coming up in my conversations, so I think that's just a signal from life just saying, "Yeah, we need to talk about that again." Um, so look, there's… Let, let's wrap this up. There's three forces that are trying to keep you down. Um, and again, don't get all butthurt about it, and don't blame it on life, and don't blame it on the universe, and don't blame it on your past or anything like that. It's just what it is. And guess what? We're all on equal grounds here, right? All of us are gonna face resistance in multiple ways. We're going to also have rational thoughts try to creep in and, and reason with us, and bargain with us, and, you know, whisper sweet nothings, and negotiate with us. And if you negotiate, then you're dead. Stay on the system. And then friends and family. Okay? Some friends you just outgrow. Other family members and friends too, you just start becoming unavailable. And- Because as you start elevating, you're going to attract a new set of friends, and you're not better than those people that you're leaving behind, you're just better for you. Keep that in mind. Like, no, no shade on those people. My wife and I were talking about this the other day. Like, we were talking about some of the people she used to hang out with when she and I first started dating, and I was like, "Pfft, my God." And she's like, "Pfft, I can't, I can't…" You just outgrow them. Like, at that time it made sense, but then in retrospect, I mean, we probably have all kind of people in our lives like that, and you're like,"What the hell was I thinking?" I mean, that's, that's just the way it is. So see it for what it is. See the resistance. Use it to your advantage. And the, the, the primary way to use it is, "I got you. I'm calling you out. I'm staying on my process." And if it tries to interfere with, what does it say? Anything, i- if you, if you're, like, begin negotiating, if it interferes with long-term growth, health, or integrity. That's the three areas it's gonna try to, you know, affect you. And so, like, if, i- if, if you've done some bad things in the past and now you're trying to get that right, that integrity thing is gonna try to, mm, try to, try to bend the rules for you. Or if it's long-term growth, you're like, "Man, I'm sick and tired of just being in the hood, man. I'm try- I'm, I'm tired of scraping by and all this," that long-term growth resistance is, it's an all-out a- assault for you. And then especially health, man. Health is always the, the good fried seafood platters, man, the, uh, all the Cajun food we have down here. Oh my God. Um, so you just, you have to learn to take a stand for yourself and be like, "Nope, it interferes." That is that boudin ball. If you don't know what boudin is, uh, DM me, I'll send you a picture of it. That boudin ball, that gumbo… Let me put it like this. That étouffée, that fried fish with the étouffée is going to, and then the beer to wash down the, uh, the étouffée, all of those things, it's just resistance. That's all it is, and it's just making your situation worse. And the crazy thing is, we make things harder on ourselves than they have to be, than have to be, all right? See it for what it is. Let's get out of here. Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough. Peace.