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Sometimes the only way to learn how to swim is to let others go under and figure it out themselves.
A tough but necessary episode to listen to.
(Recorded November 26, 2020)
YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiNqFo05MJ6_yCu1vJ3rX4A
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Do you want to help someone out? Well, Help 'em out by letting them struggle. That's right. Struggle is an opportunity, I learned this by talking to one of my friends and he's trained his kids that when they reach a sticking point, they are not allowed to come ask him for help until once they make some sort of progress beyond the sticking. He says, then you can come ask Mile. And what he finds , is oftentimes they never come get 'em because they end up figuring it out on their own. And because they figure it out on their own, they earn that confidence. So you can't give someone confidence. You can't. You can try to motivate 'em, you can try to inspire 'em, but confidence is earned, it's earned with your hands. It's earned by the doing. So he says, Hey, don't come get me until you make progress beyond the sticking point. Then if you still need me, come get me. And they create that confidence because they figure it out on their own. He fosters that growing mindset. And in talking to a man, I realized, how many times have I been so quick to help my daughter with a big word or help her finish her project? And I've robbed her of one of the greatest opportunities. And that's the opportunity to struggle because if you do it any other way, It becomes that knee-jerk emotion, right? I mean, think about it. When you get to a sticking point, Hey, I need your help, and we've done that. We've done that , in our jobs, we've done that as children, we've done that as adults. And if you don't do something different, then you're always gonna be that way. And see help is not always gonna be. and because help's not gonna be there. You need to learn how to struggle and figure it out on your own. And Ray Dalio seconds that motion in his book principles, he actually denies his people of their request because he wants them to find alternative. So, because even though his company has the resources, he wants his people to become resourceful. When they figure it out, he has more confident employee. They're not weak-minded, and they're not so quick to come running down the hall asking for help. So parents, let your kids struggle. Managers let your kids struggle. Children sometimes, man, you gotta let your parents. because when you're so quick to bail 'em out, they're always gonna come back. And you sit there and scratch your head about parents, employees, kids, friends, and you say, dude, when? When? Are they ever gonna figure it out? They won't. As long as they have. And if they can always run back to you, then there's no reason to run forward toward anything else. So let your people struggle, get to a sticking point, make progress beyond the sticking point, and then if you need my help, we'll figure it out together because I find it's better to run behind someone. , then the run for them, they gotta figure it out too, right? Remember, the greatest sale that you'll ever make is to sell you on you, cuz you're more than enough. Stay amazing. Stay in the sales life.
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