March 29, 2026

996. Resist The Urge To Become A Narrow Person.

996. Resist The Urge To Become A Narrow Person.

Send us Fan Mail What if the reason you feel stuck… isn’t your situation—but how narrowly you’ve defined yourself? In this episode, I share a simple idea that hit me hard: most of us don’t need a new life—we just need to stop becoming a narrow version of ourselves. We get comfortable. We lock into an identity. We do the same things, think the same way, and slowly lose our curiosity, creativity, and edge. I’ll walk you through how to recognize when that’s happening, why it leads to burnout, an...

Apple Podcasts podcast player badge
Spotify podcast player badge
Castro podcast player badge
RSS Feed podcast player badge
Apple Podcasts podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconCastro podcast player iconRSS Feed podcast player icon

Send us Fan Mail

What if the reason you feel stuck… isn’t your situation—but how narrowly you’ve defined yourself?

In this episode, I share a simple idea that hit me hard: most of us don’t need a new life—we just need to stop becoming a narrow version of ourselves.

We get comfortable. We lock into an identity. We do the same things, think the same way, and slowly lose our curiosity, creativity, and edge.

I’ll walk you through how to recognize when that’s happening, why it leads to burnout, and how to start expanding again—without blowing your life up.

This is about using what you already know as a tool… not a trap.

Listen in, challenge yourself, and ask the question:

Have I become a narrow person?

Episode 996 — “Resist the Urge to Be a Narrow Person”
Listen on your favorite podcast app, YouTube, or at marshbuice.com

Support the show

📣Who needs to hear this episode? Please share with ONE PERSON who needs to hear this message. 

🛑 Watch & subscribe to episodes on my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiNqFo05MJ6_yCu1vJ3rX4A

📝Show your ❤️ by thumbing a quick rating and review for any platform: https://www.marshbuice.com/reviews/new/

🤝See my daily stories: https://www.instagram.com/marshbuice/

💭 Daily thoughts on X @marshbuice

💼 Blog posts on LinkedIn @marshbuice

👩‍💻 FREE Content! www.marshbuice.com


Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough. 

WEBVTT

00:00:00.450 --> 00:00:02.520
I just love life.

00:00:02.879 --> 00:00:09.089
I really do, and I just love because I love what it brings, the freshness that it brings.

00:00:10.109 --> 00:00:24.500
Every day and every day I wake up with something new to learn, and this morning I'm walking the dogs and sometimes man, I walk in silence and sometimes I pop my earbuds in my ear and listen to a podcast.

00:00:24.769 --> 00:00:33.018
And this morning I was listening to Steven Bartlett's podcast, diary of a CEO, and he said something that I just had to come home.

00:00:33.829 --> 00:00:36.920
And initially I was just gonna jot down.

00:00:37.594 --> 00:00:43.530
Because I thought it, it, it made for a good quote, but the more I stared at it.

00:00:43.530 --> 00:00:48.750
After I wrote it, I was like, man, this is, this is way deeper.

00:00:48.850 --> 00:00:56.250
It caused me to challenge myself to make sure that I'm not becoming a narrow person.

00:00:58.110 --> 00:00:59.581
And so this is what he said.

00:00:59.581 --> 00:01:05.400
You don't need to go to Peru to orchestrate your life in such a way.

00:01:05.400 --> 00:01:14.010
Like a lot of times people think that, oh, I gotta go live somewhere else to design the life that I wanna live.

00:01:15.540 --> 00:01:17.161
He said that's not true at all.

00:01:17.460 --> 00:01:20.131
He said, you need to be intentional.

00:01:20.430 --> 00:01:21.421
These are key words.

00:01:21.661 --> 00:01:28.740
Intentional about resisting the urge to be a narrow person.

00:01:29.004 --> 00:01:33.653
And to identify too much with one's identity.

00:01:34.733 --> 00:01:43.683
So again, you've gotta be intentional about resisting the urge to become a narrow person.

00:01:44.468 --> 00:01:48.037
To identify too much with one's identity.

00:01:48.218 --> 00:01:52.087
Your identity is who or what you are.

00:01:53.168 --> 00:02:09.608
And I think a lot of times what leads to burnout in our lives is we establish too rigid of an identity and we anchor ourselves on these.

00:02:11.242 --> 00:02:16.013
On this thing and we become a narrow person.

00:02:16.522 --> 00:02:36.682
And the reason being is, is because you had this vast amount of opportunity and just with society and obligations and family, and then you just, you get into this routine of learning, you know, let's, let's just say a profession.

00:02:37.133 --> 00:02:39.742
'cause that's a lot of times what your identity is.

00:02:40.582 --> 00:03:02.302
And, and you become this one thing and nothing else, and so you kind of, you lose a sense of yourself and you lose a lot of your wonder and a, and everything just becomes shades of gray.

00:03:02.812 --> 00:03:07.013
You just getting up on Monday, working until Friday.

00:03:07.568 --> 00:03:14.258
Occasional one week vacation, holidays off, and I mean, just on the grind.

00:03:14.258 --> 00:03:24.638
I'm just trying to make it work, and this was like a real gut check for me that said, you've got to be intentional.

00:03:24.728 --> 00:03:25.448
That's key.

00:03:25.568 --> 00:03:27.788
That means you have to have an awareness.

00:03:28.027 --> 00:03:34.237
That means you have to be the one to power your ship, so you've gotta be intentional.

00:03:35.048 --> 00:03:37.087
About resisting the urge.

00:03:37.147 --> 00:03:53.207
If you're intentional, you have an awareness, you're less likely to just slide into these pillars, columns, silos, I should say, of an identity.

00:03:53.207 --> 00:03:56.342
And this, you know, when I wrote this, the first thing I thought about.

00:03:57.423 --> 00:04:02.582
Was the documentary that I watched on Netflix about Eddie Murphy.

00:04:03.902 --> 00:04:05.402
I think it was called Being Eddie.

00:04:06.573 --> 00:04:07.832
And Being Eddie.

00:04:08.853 --> 00:04:15.092
There's a lot of faces to Eddie Murphy and when you go back over his life, and that's what they did.

00:04:15.092 --> 00:04:19.442
Basically how he started, he started off as a comedian.

00:04:20.343 --> 00:04:25.622
He really was kind of the wedge buster of a black comedian.

00:04:26.028 --> 00:04:27.648
Becoming an actor.

00:04:28.338 --> 00:04:33.677
I mean, Pryor did some of that, but really, Eddie Murphy took it to a whole nother level.

00:04:34.458 --> 00:04:41.987
And so he was an actor and a comedian, but then he made an album.

00:04:41.987 --> 00:04:47.418
He's a singer and he's also a musician and he likes to write.

00:04:47.807 --> 00:04:55.577
And you know, when you, when you watch the doc, it, it's interesting because, and I think somebody even said that, they were like.

00:04:55.968 --> 00:05:03.677
As soon as you think you have Eddie Murphy typecast in the one thing, boom, he's off doing something else.

00:05:04.098 --> 00:05:05.598
He always keeps him guessing.

00:05:06.677 --> 00:05:13.158
And it just, it really made me think about have I become a narrow person?

00:05:13.877 --> 00:05:15.677
And I've gotta, I've gotta resist that.

00:05:16.007 --> 00:05:17.057
That's the easy part.

00:05:17.057 --> 00:05:23.807
The easy thing is, is just slip into complacency and just because it's familiar, it's what you know.

00:05:24.752 --> 00:05:32.192
But this really caused me to challenge and, and really analyze where I'm at.

00:05:32.192 --> 00:05:33.872
Same thing with Matthew McConaughey.

00:05:33.872 --> 00:05:50.552
And, and ironically, I picked out his book this morning to read from before I even wrote this quote down, and before I even cracked open the book, I remember him telling the story that he turned down $14 million.

00:05:51.483 --> 00:05:52.833
He, he turned that down.

00:05:52.833 --> 00:05:53.778
They kept throwing money at him.

00:05:54.452 --> 00:06:00.523
Because he was tired of being typecast as a romantic comedy actor, a romcom actor.

00:06:01.002 --> 00:06:06.942
And so they kept upping the, the, the upping the pay, and he was like, no, I'm not doing it.

00:06:06.942 --> 00:06:08.057
He resisted the urge.

00:06:08.892 --> 00:06:11.173
And said, I, I want to do other things.

00:06:11.293 --> 00:06:16.932
And so in the back of his mind, he was like, 'cause a lot of times, a lot of people said that he signed his death warrant.

00:06:16.932 --> 00:06:20.382
Like you shun Hollywood, they'll just close the door on you, lock it.

00:06:20.742 --> 00:06:23.892
And he knew there was a possibility of that.

00:06:23.892 --> 00:06:26.173
Yet he walked away from that.

00:06:26.233 --> 00:06:34.093
He resisted the urge to become the narrow person of a rom-com actor while they threw money at him.

00:06:34.093 --> 00:06:34.963
It was tempting.

00:06:36.853 --> 00:06:41.802
But he started thinking in his mind, okay, well if this shuts down, what else can I do?

00:06:41.802 --> 00:06:43.002
I could be a professor.

00:06:44.903 --> 00:06:46.312
I could be a wildlife agent.

00:06:46.673 --> 00:06:47.783
I mean, just all kind of.

00:06:47.932 --> 00:06:54.322
So he started thinking about other things outside of being a rom-com actor.

00:06:55.302 --> 00:06:58.872
And he really distanced himself from that.

00:06:59.502 --> 00:07:01.002
And Matthew McConaughey.

00:07:02.307 --> 00:07:05.968
I really think he's become more of a broader person now.

00:07:05.968 --> 00:07:26.487
So not only does he do different roles in acting, he's gotten away from the rom-com, but he's also a professor at the University of Texas and he just, he just tries different things and you know, so you look at examples like this with people and you're like, man.

00:07:27.583 --> 00:07:29.112
What a colorful life they have.

00:07:29.262 --> 00:07:29.983
Absolutely.

00:07:30.043 --> 00:07:33.432
Because they're intentional about having a colorful life.

00:07:33.432 --> 00:07:37.632
You too have the opportunity to have a colorful life.

00:07:38.112 --> 00:07:46.783
Yet you've gotta be intentional about resisting the urge to be a narrow person and anchoring too much on your identity.

00:07:46.783 --> 00:07:48.043
I don't want to be known.

00:07:48.252 --> 00:07:50.413
There are guys that I played football with, man.

00:07:51.267 --> 00:07:53.427
That was like the only thing they've done.

00:07:53.968 --> 00:07:56.668
They played college football and that was it.

00:07:56.848 --> 00:08:02.608
They really haven't done much else since then because their identity was football.

00:08:02.817 --> 00:08:07.740
Football don't last forever, I don't wanna be known as an athlete, a former athlete.

00:08:07.740 --> 00:08:09.690
I don't wanna be known as a podcaster.

00:08:09.781 --> 00:08:12.151
I don't wanna be known as a salesman.

00:08:12.420 --> 00:08:16.771
I don't wanna be known as a sales manager, uh, as a writer.

00:08:16.771 --> 00:08:17.461
I, I just.

00:08:18.016 --> 00:08:24.555
I don't want to be just labeled in these things, and I think one thing, and I gotta resist that urge.

00:08:24.735 --> 00:08:39.811
I think one thing that really helped me was back in 2017, 2018, when I got demoted and so I lost my big title that I had and was.

00:08:40.530 --> 00:08:42.630
Busted back down to assistant manager.

00:08:42.630 --> 00:08:44.850
I wasn't even a full fledged manager anymore.

00:08:45.360 --> 00:09:03.510
And so I got, and I, I, you know, I thought that titles didn't really mean anything, and then they got the title taken away from me, and I really, I had no identity because I, my identity was in the title, but when it got stripped away.

00:09:04.605 --> 00:09:16.306
This really caused me after a lot of dark times to really re-search, re-search who I was.

00:09:16.650 --> 00:09:22.831
What I do and broaden my, my horizons is when I started a podcast like try new things.

00:09:22.831 --> 00:09:24.931
Annie Duke calls Explore and Exploit.

00:09:24.931 --> 00:09:34.020
I did an episode on this sometime back, and you have to, she used the analogy of an ant and ant explore and exploit.

00:09:34.051 --> 00:09:36.975
So they are constantly looking for new food.

00:09:37.666 --> 00:09:42.166
And new materials, I guess, to build an ant bed but they also exploit things.

00:09:42.166 --> 00:09:44.895
So there are things that you're naturally good at.

00:09:44.895 --> 00:09:54.375
There are things that you're naturally skilled at, but here's my challenge to, you see those as tools, not trophies.

00:09:55.096 --> 00:10:03.466
And so the skills and talents, like for me, I've amassed a lot of skills, the power of persuasion in sales.

00:10:03.466 --> 00:10:05.145
I've been in sales for 28 years.

00:10:05.505 --> 00:10:07.696
And so I've learned how to communicate.

00:10:07.966 --> 00:10:10.306
I've learned how to be curious and creative.

00:10:10.306 --> 00:10:19.336
When I didn't have the exact thing or the, the, the, the objections came at me and I had to, I didn't, I didn't have the perfect solution.

00:10:19.336 --> 00:10:20.655
I had to figure something out.

00:10:21.076 --> 00:10:23.446
So I've had to cultivate that creativity.

00:10:23.826 --> 00:10:27.306
Confrontation is key in sales and you gotta be a continuous learner.

00:10:27.306 --> 00:10:30.395
There's new technology, there's new buyer tendencies.

00:10:30.576 --> 00:10:32.916
There's all kind of things that are constantly moving.

00:10:32.916 --> 00:10:44.436
So even though I've been in the profession for 28 years, okay, I want to have a a 28 day mentality, meaning I'm always looking for fresh things.

00:10:44.436 --> 00:10:49.596
I don't want to be pigeonholed into doing things selling.

00:10:50.446 --> 00:10:52.696
Using this in just the same way.

00:10:52.755 --> 00:11:01.546
And there's a lot of salespeople that I've worked with and they're using the same techniques that they used 20 years ago, like they haven't adapted new skills.

00:11:01.816 --> 00:11:13.576
So you use your skills and your experience, you leverage that, but you use those as tools to lean into unfamiliar territory.

00:11:13.785 --> 00:11:18.495
I mean, think about it like this, like if you're, you're going in into some unknown wilderness.

00:11:18.880 --> 00:11:39.706
If, if you have in your backpack and own your, own, your person, like you have a gun, you have a knife, you have matches, you have food, like you have enough supplies that you can go into this unfamiliar territory, comforted, at least to know that, although this is kind of scary.

00:11:40.635 --> 00:11:41.985
I've got some protections.

00:11:42.346 --> 00:11:54.855
I've got some things that I can navigate through, and so that's what these skills and talents and techniques that you've and experience that you've developed over the years, that's what's good.

00:11:55.426 --> 00:11:59.956
But don't just use those as a trophy and anchor where you are.

00:12:00.375 --> 00:12:07.365
Use them more so as tools to navigate into new territories.

00:12:08.025 --> 00:12:10.245
This is one reason why I'm a fan of random reading.

00:12:10.260 --> 00:12:19.105
I, I like to pick something new every day, but reading this quote, be intentional to resist the urge of becoming a narrow person.

00:12:20.035 --> 00:12:24.446
This made me actually take a gut check and be like, make sure you're not just pulling.

00:12:25.211 --> 00:12:26.890
Certain books off the shelf.

00:12:26.890 --> 00:12:31.480
There's a whole wide range of books on my shelf and in my Kindle library.

00:12:31.990 --> 00:12:38.740
Are you looking at other ones too, that are outside your field, that are outside of your comfort level?

00:12:39.100 --> 00:12:43.197
I mean, when's the last time you grabbed a Neil Degrass Tyson book?

00:12:43.364 --> 00:12:44.474
About astronomy.

00:12:44.878 --> 00:12:46.587
Space or whatever the hell he talks about.

00:12:46.587 --> 00:12:49.018
Like this made me kind of think about that.

00:12:49.018 --> 00:12:51.957
Like, okay, I gotta, I gotta be careful with that.

00:12:52.557 --> 00:12:56.878
And so you're, you're almost like an archeologist.

00:12:57.118 --> 00:12:57.418
Okay.

00:12:57.418 --> 00:13:05.548
You go into this new territory, you know, those archeologists, when you look at 'em on National Geographic, they have a little brush and a little.

00:13:05.923 --> 00:13:16.003
You know, they're brushing things away and they're using these little tools to carve, they're, they're, they're, they're carving and they're, and they're exposing new things out of the rock.

00:13:16.572 --> 00:13:20.623
That's what you do in your life as you venture out into a.

00:13:20.993 --> 00:13:23.602
Unfamiliar territory, new territory.

00:13:23.602 --> 00:13:24.952
Just have fun with it, man.

00:13:25.312 --> 00:13:27.173
Like these are two-way doors, right?

00:13:27.352 --> 00:13:29.753
So you can try some things and come back.

00:13:29.753 --> 00:13:31.613
You could try some things and come back.

00:13:32.153 --> 00:13:44.033
And so leveraging the skills, like the skills I have of communication, curiosity, creativity, continuous learning and action, and productive confrontation and skills of persuasion.

00:13:45.222 --> 00:13:49.753
I can use those skills, but it's not just to be pigeonholed as a salesperson.

00:13:50.202 --> 00:13:50.533
Okay.

00:13:50.743 --> 00:13:52.153
These are familiar.

00:13:52.602 --> 00:14:04.003
I, I'm, I'm armed with these and now I can try other areas, but understanding too, or comforted to know that I can lean on these.

00:14:05.023 --> 00:14:22.832
Also use them to kind of pic ax into new territories, I think a lot of your unhappiness comes from, things have gotten boring, things have gotten kind of stale for you because not knowing.

00:14:23.927 --> 00:14:26.207
You, you've just become a narrow person.

00:14:26.508 --> 00:14:29.327
And so all you talk about is your job.

00:14:29.447 --> 00:14:32.628
All you talk about is what you do day in and day out.

00:14:32.687 --> 00:14:37.638
And I'm not saying like you just become an inch deep on everything.

00:14:37.937 --> 00:14:46.248
There are some things that you're going to go deep on that's good, but don't, don't, don't get so entrenched that you just anchor in on those things.

00:14:46.727 --> 00:14:52.457
Use those to anchor or to leverage into other areas in life.

00:14:53.028 --> 00:14:56.238
And so when it gets a little bumpy, you can anchor right there.

00:14:56.238 --> 00:14:57.977
Kind of like if you're climbing a mountain.

00:14:57.977 --> 00:14:59.327
I'm full of analogies today.

00:14:59.658 --> 00:15:01.398
Kind of like if you were climbing a mountain.

00:15:01.697 --> 00:15:03.677
The the, the territory may get a little.

00:15:04.623 --> 00:15:07.562
A little bad, the weather may turn bad or something.

00:15:07.562 --> 00:15:12.482
So you anchor in for the night, but then the next morning you start so soldiering on again.

00:15:12.692 --> 00:15:14.613
Same thing for what you do in life.

00:15:14.613 --> 00:15:15.092
Maybe.

00:15:15.393 --> 00:15:18.753
Maybe you start venturing into something and it gets a little rocky or whatever.

00:15:18.753 --> 00:15:24.812
Just be patient, anchor in the storm you, you have these skills you've already amassed.

00:15:26.043 --> 00:15:29.342
Stay right there for a minute and then.

00:15:30.107 --> 00:15:33.618
Start easing into unfamiliar territory.

00:15:33.857 --> 00:15:35.057
They just try things.

00:15:35.057 --> 00:15:41.148
I mean, this is so back to the random reading, this is why I like the random reading because it kind of gamifies life.

00:15:41.148 --> 00:15:46.518
I can, I can read something and they just go out there and try to live it and see how I did that day.

00:15:46.518 --> 00:15:48.918
If I blew it up, bombed it, okay.

00:15:49.187 --> 00:15:51.018
I get something new the next day.

00:15:51.587 --> 00:15:54.738
And you know, these just become kind of the Lego blocks.

00:15:55.143 --> 00:16:06.092
In my life and there are things that I've, I've I've read about, didn't do anything with 'em, and then years later, remember that and okay, let's try it.

00:16:06.633 --> 00:16:08.102
And so it's resisting that urge.

00:16:09.033 --> 00:16:14.043
Uh, to be a narrow person and the only way that you're gonna do that is be intentional.

00:16:14.043 --> 00:16:15.212
Just make the choice today.

00:16:15.212 --> 00:16:20.613
Like, and really that's all I want you to, to do is really question yourself right now.

00:16:20.613 --> 00:16:22.322
Like, have I become a narrow person?

00:16:22.322 --> 00:16:23.673
Like what is it you talk about?

00:16:23.942 --> 00:16:24.663
What is it?

00:16:24.972 --> 00:16:27.192
You watch, what is it you're listening to?

00:16:27.192 --> 00:16:28.243
What is it you're reading?

00:16:28.543 --> 00:16:40.033
Have you, have you kind of n narrowed the lane so much when you first started, or maybe even just 10 years ago, you were like this wide and now you've become very, very narrow.

00:16:40.123 --> 00:16:47.352
And maybe that's the spotlight you can put and say, this might be a little reason why I'm a little frustrated, right?

00:16:47.413 --> 00:16:51.283
Why I just sit in the backyard and just stare over the fence because.

00:16:52.623 --> 00:16:54.273
I'm like, this is all life is.

00:16:54.273 --> 00:16:55.503
No, that's not.

00:16:55.503 --> 00:17:03.513
This is not all that life is, and it doesn't cost you an ass load of money, nor do you have to move to Peru to orchestrate your life.

00:17:03.842 --> 00:17:05.192
Just have fun with your life, man.

00:17:05.192 --> 00:17:06.303
This is a fun life.

00:17:07.232 --> 00:17:08.073
Have fun with it.

00:17:08.462 --> 00:17:09.843
Life is super simple.

00:17:10.413 --> 00:17:14.732
Uh, it's not easy, but you can make it simple and it's by just.

00:17:15.303 --> 00:17:17.133
Broadening your horizons.

00:17:17.282 --> 00:17:18.542
Life is a big sandbox.

00:17:18.542 --> 00:17:19.502
Go have fun with it.

00:17:19.593 --> 00:17:21.182
All right, I wanna hear about it.

00:17:21.573 --> 00:17:23.103
Remember, keep it simple, keep it moving.

00:17:23.103 --> 00:17:23.613
Never settle.

00:17:23.613 --> 00:17:24.353
Stay tough p