Feb. 22, 2026
990.You’ve Been Thinking About Self-Discipline All Wrong
Send a text What if self-discipline isn’t punishment? What if it’s not about rigidity, suffering, or going full David Goggins on yourself? In this episode, I unpack a powerful idea from Roxy Nafusi’s book Confidence. Self-Discipline is not a weapon… It’s a practice of self-love and self-respect. Instead of using discipline to dig yourself out of self-created jams, what if you saw it as casting a daily vote for the person you’re becoming? I break down: Why I’ve used self-discipline as a weapo...
What if self-discipline isn’t punishment?
What if it’s not about rigidity, suffering, or going full David Goggins on yourself?
In this episode, I unpack a powerful idea from Roxy Nafusi’s book Confidence.
Self-Discipline is not a weapon… It’s a practice of self-love and self-respect.
Instead of using discipline to dig yourself out of self-created jams, what if you saw it as casting a daily vote for the person you’re becoming?
I break down:
- Why I’ve used self-discipline as a weapon in my fitness and finances
- How “coming from behind” can be a skill — but a terrible life blueprint
- Three practical ways to practice discipline differently:
- Be proactive (without losing your edge)
- Anticipate your triggers
- Think in lanes and guardrails
This one reframes everything.
Self-discipline isn’t about punishing yourself.
It’s about respecting yourself enough to stay in your lane.
Let’s get it.
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Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough.
WEBVTT
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Alright, 3, 2, 1.
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Let's get it.
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Welcome to another edition, episode 990 of What's Your Problem?
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The podcast.
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I'm so excited, man.
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We are, what we are 10 episodes away.
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For those of you who can do math, we're 10 episodes away of a thousand episodes and that's, you know, a thousand episodes just an arbitrary number.
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You know, it's, it's what a feat it is.
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I've been doing this since 2017.
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But it's, it's pretty cool.
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Um, and it's probably the most prevalent thing that I've ever like really stuck to.
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Um, and it's had its peaks and valleys, that's, that's for sure.
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But those of you who have rocked with me for a long time, thank you so much for supporting.
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The podcast, it's had many changes.
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It started off as the sales life because I believe the skills that we learn in sales are part of life.
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It's the same skills, communication, curiosity, creativity, continuous learning and action, productive confrontation.
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Um, and then it evolved into the Marsh Buice Podcast.
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I don't know why I named it that, I guess.
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Because Joe Rogan had the Joe Rogan experience.
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I don't know.
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Um, and then it morphed into What's Your Problem?
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that deal with the three universal problems we all have.
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Adversity, uncertainty and complacency.
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So you need the skills to handle the adversity, embrace uncertainty, and never settle again.
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Beat that complacency back.
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And those skills, ironically, are what the skills started off with in the Sales Life, communication, curiosity, creativity, continuous learning and action, and productive confrontation.
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I get such a joy in being able to bring these episodes.
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I wish I could bring more of them.
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Definitely want to.
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Um, they, they help me., And I turn on the microphone because I feel like that if I'm going through something, then maybe this will help someone else too.
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I don't feel like that we're all unique, that we're the only ones that are experiencing something.
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So me sharing in these episodes.
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Not only, you know, contributes, but also the more I explain it, the better I understand it.
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So it's a selfish benefit on my part because I like to be able to explain things.
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I'm not explaining it to you, I'm explaining it to me.
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So that's why I bring these episodes.
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These episodes are for me.
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Um, I contribute to you and I hope that you can use 'em, but some of these you may listen to, you're like, nah, that ain't me.
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Cool.
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That's why there's almost a thousand of 'em that you can go through.
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So you can just go to this, to the next one or wait for the next one, or you can go to some older ones.
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So I try to keep these episodes pretty short, uh, because I know you got a lot going on.
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So I wanna get you in, get you out, and get you on with your life.
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So I'm reading a book right now.
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By Roxie Nafousi Hopefully I said her name right.
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And it's, the name of the book is called Confidence.
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So as soon as I, I mean the, the title, the, the book cover is just black and white.
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It's just a black cover that says confidence on there.
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It's super simple and, and the, the way.
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The book cover was, it, it instantly drew me in very simple, very captivating.
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Eight, eight steps to know Your Worth.
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And I believe we all suffer in some form or another of confidence.
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But there's a section that I want to read to you for context about self-discipline and what self-discipline is.
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And it really, you know, I read for ideas.
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When something like snags my soul, I'm like, whoa, hold up.
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And it really made me re-look at self-discipline in a different light, and maybe it'll help you as well.
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So let me read to you what she wrote.
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She said, self-discipline isn't about punishment or strict control.
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I always thought it was, it's not about that.
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It's an expression of self love.
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Self-respect.
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I was like, bro, I've never even seen it like that.
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I've seen it as self-discipline, as punishment, as strict control, because I did, I've always seen it as, as like a, as punishment.
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So I've, I've seen it as that, as rigid and it, it was more so like a weapon.
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Instead of a tool, she says it's a tool.
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She said, practicing self-discipline, practicing self-discipline, seeing self-discipline as a practice, practicing self-discipline tells us that our goals, our health and our wellbeing.
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Wellbeing being all five F's, your faith, your family, your fitness, your finances, your fulfillment.
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Your wellbeing and all those areas are worth the effort.
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It's worth the effort.
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So it's a form of self-love, of self-respect that everything that you're doing for your goals, your wellbeing, your health, it's worth it.
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Like what you're doing, it's, it's worth it.
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And you know, it's almost like you're casting a vote.
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Of the person that you wanna become or that you're becoming, let me say that not want to become, because want to become is like, seems so far out there.
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You're just casting a vote or reinforcing through an act of self-respect and self-love.
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Never saw self-discipline that way.
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Always looked at it like David Goggins, beat yourself up.
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You're, you know, you're a POS.
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Get after it.
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That's how I've always seen it.
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I mean, I, I guess probably from my sports background, but she says, when you look at it as a practice, the effort that you take you're prioritizing what truly matters.
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She goes on to say that self-discipline is about making choices that align with our long-term goals.
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And staying committed because we, we believe we're worthy of a life filled with joy, success and love isn't that all of us.
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And I think sometimes we don't feel that we're worthy of joy, of success, of love.
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And proof positive is because we use self-discipline as a weapon.
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Not a practice of self-love and self-respect, and I'm gonna prove to you how that, how that could be happening for you.
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When I read this, I'm like, oh my God, I, I didn't see it like this.
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And there were some things that I've done that have put myself in these jams.
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To really practice self-discipline, but in the wrong way.
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So she says, self-discipline is like a muscle.
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The more you use it, the stronger it gets.
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And you think about anything that you've succeeded in, like the times that you've been disciplined in your life, you've practiced self-discipline.
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Think about those and how strong you've got in these certain areas.
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Only to give it back later on.
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Reading this context right here, put a total different spin on how I looked at self-discipline.
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It's an expression.
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If something is an expression, it's an effort.
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Okay?
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It's an effort.
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It's a casting of the vote of self-love and self-respect.
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When I see it as an expression, it is not all this woowoo because if she says self, it probably, I probably would've even paused on this.
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If she would've written self-discipline is self-love and self-respect, I, I probably wouldn't have even stopped.
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But when she said it's, it's a conscious effort, it's an expression, it's a practice.
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Of self-love and self-respect.
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That is the thing that gave me pause.
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I'm like, I have never seen self-discipline that way.
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Self-discipline is not a form of punishment.
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As a matter of fact, the lack of self-discipline is a form of punishment.
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Think about that because you put yourself, let me, let me prove it to you.
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Do you look at self-discipline as a form of punishment?
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You may.
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You may, and not even realize it.
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Writing this out made me realize it.
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This is why I say you should read and then you should write your interpretation.
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You free flow, your thoughts.
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I've been working on this for a few days, just kind of, I wrote it all out word for word at first, and I just put the pad aside and let it slosh around for a couple of days and then I came back to it today and was like, what does this mean to me?
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Okay.
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Sometimes that's what you do.
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You sometimes writing is like a good steak, you gotta cook it, and then you gotta let it sit and let it marinate.
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And sometimes that's what we have to do in life.
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So back to my point, you may not realize that you use self-discipline as a form of punishment.
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Let me show you how you may do this.
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I saw it as soon as I wrote this out.
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I saw it in myself.
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I am a come from behind kind of guy.
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I procrastinate.
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I get to the very edge of something and then I don't know what it is.
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I just seem to thrive.
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Okay?
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That is a good skill to have.
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That is not a good blueprint in life.
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One reason why I'm attracted to sales, I've been in sales for 28 years.
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One reason why I have been so successful in sales is because I thrive.
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On the pressure cooker last minute situations, this probably goes back to my playing days in college football where there was no timeouts left, final drive, fourth and four.
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And had to, keep the drive alive by getting a first down.
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And I never wilted under those pressures.
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It was like, oh, let's go.
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And so in sales, that is transferred very well to me, but also.
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It's a good, like I said, it's a good skill to have, but it's not good to put yourself in those situations.
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And what I realized is when you look at self-discipline as a weapon, you end up unconsciously not even knowing it.
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You end up putting yourself behind the eight ball.
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You put yourself in these pressure cooker.
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Have to come from behind jam kind of situations.
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Now I gotta work out of it, but strangely, that's the time that I've come alive and I'm like, oh, let's go.
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So, you know, specifically, let me just, the, the two areas that really resonated for me may resonate for you is your fitness and your finances.
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So I have put myself.
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In debt many times.
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Dude, I've, I've done this a hundred times.
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It's just this big loop.
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You, you, you put yourself in debt, you get in this hit the wall moment, and then you're like, oh, okay.
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And then you get real hardcore, real disciplined, and you work yourself out of it.
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Same thing in fitness.
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Dude, I've been 285 pounds.
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Okay?
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I've been 189 pounds.
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I've been all over the place.
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I mean, there are different chapters in my life.
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So obviously I have proven to myself that I can lose a hundred pounds and I've never done it with shots or pills or anything like that.
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Just self-discipline, goggin style, like get after it only to get to a place and then give it all back or give a lot of it back.
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In my fitness and finances, I've done that because I used it as a weapon, not a tool.
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And so you put yourself in this situation, but the problem with that great skill to have, the problem with that is you're so exhausted that you end up getting complacent.
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You're exhausted.
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You let up.
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You ease back up, you ease back into the old life, you revert back to 'em, you get yourself in this jam again, and then you come alive.
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Does that sound familiar for you?
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'cause it, I, when I read this, I'm like, oh my god, it, it's really a form of self abandonment and self-sabotage.
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It is.
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And I use both of those words.
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Differently because sometimes I haven't felt worthy of success.
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Self-sabotage.
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Sometimes I felt woe is me.
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Selfa, abandonment, not loved, not appreciated, not gonna be anything in life.
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Kick the can down the road.
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Self abandonment.
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I've abandoned myself in those situations.
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So when you look at self-discipline as a practice.
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And like casting the vote of, of form of self-love and self-respect.
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It's not these huge leaps and bounds that you have to, to do and be.
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So I want to give you a few things that I'm gonna practice on, but it's bringing an awareness to it in hopes that you'll use self-discipline now as a tool, as a practice.
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Of self-love and self-respect for yourself.
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Dude, this is all for you.
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It's not for anybody else.
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Other people get to benefit from this, okay?
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Because you bring a better version of yourself.
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So the first practice of self-discipline.
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Is to be proactive.
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I'm a reactive kind of guy.
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Come from behind, get yourself in a jam, boom, hit the mark.
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I can do that.
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Again, it's a, it's a good skillset to have.
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It is not a good blueprint in, in life.
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So the first thing is to be proactive.
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And the way you do that is a few things.
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A, just develop a routine.
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A couple of things that you do that reinforce that are in alignment with your goals, with your wellbeing, with your health, in your faith, your family, your fitness, your finances, your fulfillment, okay?
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Just a few things that keep you in alignment with those things that you're just consistently feeding that every single day.
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Now, the reason why I'm not proactive or don't really like proactive measures is because proactive is is boring.
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It is.
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I like the pressure, which is why I got into the sales.
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I like some people just splatter on that.
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They don't like that I do.
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So you could be proactive.
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So I've gotta be proactive.
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But also I can harness the reactive nature in myself, but that way I don't jack my nervous system up.
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See, you jack your nervous system up if you're constantly in stress mode trying to dig outta certain situations.
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So now what I can be is, is I can be proactive.
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And harness the reactive nature.
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By being spontaneous.
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You can be spontaneous, just don't be reactive.
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So you can use some spiciness, some all of the sudden, but I'm already proactive.
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I'm already ahead of things and I, I hate, what, what's crazy is I thrive on.
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Reactive nature.
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I thrive on coming from behind.
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But bro, it stresses me out.
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I'm like, oh my God, how do I keep getting this situation?
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'cause I put myself there.
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Be proactive, be ahead of the curve.
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Okay?
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The second way to practice self-discipline is to anticipate triggers.
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Anticipate 'em.
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What are the environments?
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What are the people that cause you to.
00:16:48.832 --> 00:17:05.272
Revert back that cause you to either self- abandon or self-sabotage yourself that cause you to get way off the road, anticipate these things, try to stay away from 'em, or minimize those, those areas.
00:17:05.482 --> 00:17:11.813
And if you can anticipate this, you know you're going into this environment, then you keep an awareness.
00:17:12.667 --> 00:17:22.298
Uh, a vigilance about you that I'm gonna practice self-discipline, self-respect, self-love, not gonna sabotage.
00:17:22.508 --> 00:17:23.647
They can do all that.
00:17:23.708 --> 00:17:24.577
I'm not doing that.
00:17:24.938 --> 00:17:25.268
Okay.
00:17:25.448 --> 00:17:32.053
So anticipate the triggers We all have triggers, we all have things that we just reactively do.
00:17:33.748 --> 00:17:36.472
Uh, situations, moments, environments.
00:17:36.712 --> 00:17:46.403
Hell, bro, you can go home to your childhood home and boom, all of a sudden you're doing the same bullshit you did 30 years ago with fellas that are still hanging on the corner.
00:17:46.972 --> 00:17:47.813
It happens.
00:17:48.053 --> 00:17:50.603
So anticipate these things can't make it.
00:17:51.682 --> 00:17:53.873
That's, that's the best way to be.
00:17:54.103 --> 00:17:55.153
So that's the second thing.
00:17:55.153 --> 00:17:55.873
The third way.
00:17:56.423 --> 00:18:06.542
I want you to think in the, in the form of self-discipline, of casting a vote of self-love and self-respect is, think of lanes and guardrails.
00:18:07.053 --> 00:18:11.313
A lane on a highway, your lane that you're going in is 12 feet wide.
00:18:11.762 --> 00:18:13.232
I don't just naturally know this.
00:18:13.232 --> 00:18:14.012
I'll look this up.
00:18:14.222 --> 00:18:15.303
It's 12 feet wide.
00:18:15.752 --> 00:18:20.282
The lane is not just big enough just for your vehicle, like you have no margin.
00:18:20.678 --> 00:18:29.347
Your lane is wide enough to not only have your vehicle in the lane, but also has some flexibility while going down that that road.
00:18:29.738 --> 00:18:31.087
That's what your life is.
00:18:31.268 --> 00:18:33.397
Your life is.
00:18:34.222 --> 00:18:34.942
A lane.
00:18:35.133 --> 00:18:37.803
It's got some flexibility, so it doesn't have to be perfect.
00:18:37.803 --> 00:18:39.482
It doesn't have to be rigid.
00:18:39.823 --> 00:18:43.303
Your thought process is, I just gotta stay in the lane.
00:18:43.722 --> 00:18:45.553
Because if you get outta that lane.
00:18:46.438 --> 00:18:47.577
And veer off.
00:18:48.057 --> 00:18:49.377
You're gonna hit the guardrails.
00:18:49.798 --> 00:18:53.008
The goal today is to stay in your lane.
00:18:53.367 --> 00:18:54.807
Have that flexibility.
00:18:55.077 --> 00:18:56.248
Enjoy life.
00:18:56.657 --> 00:18:58.397
Just don't self-sabotage.
00:18:58.817 --> 00:19:00.768
Don't self abandon yourself.
00:19:00.917 --> 00:19:02.357
Don't hit the guardrails.
00:19:02.607 --> 00:19:04.647
An interesting thing about the guardrails.
00:19:05.067 --> 00:19:07.468
Guardrails are there to protect you.
00:19:08.817 --> 00:19:10.018
They will damage you.
00:19:11.157 --> 00:19:12.208
They won't kill you.
00:19:12.657 --> 00:19:17.458
So they're meant to cause damage, but not to the point where it kills you.
00:19:17.758 --> 00:19:31.593
The guardrails in your life are these moments where you get yourself behind the eight ball and it's these wake up moments all of the sudden now you're 50 pounds overweight or a hundred thousand dollars in debt.
00:19:32.518 --> 00:19:34.137
And you're like, oh my God.
00:19:34.137 --> 00:19:35.788
All of a sudden you hit the guardrail.
00:19:36.057 --> 00:19:38.127
Okay, so they caused some damage.
00:19:38.307 --> 00:19:39.627
You gotta dig out of it.
00:19:39.928 --> 00:19:44.577
You get behind the eight ball, you probably come alive, but that's at a reactive state.
00:19:44.577 --> 00:19:46.288
Jacks up your nervous system.
00:19:46.948 --> 00:19:49.528
But again, it's good tool.
00:19:49.827 --> 00:19:53.637
It's a good skillset, I should say, to have.
00:19:54.042 --> 00:19:57.942
You prove to yourself that you can come from behind.
00:19:58.333 --> 00:20:00.133
We just don't wanna stay that way.
00:20:01.903 --> 00:20:08.653
You don't wanna live your life that way because if you don't do something different, you're always gonna be this way.
00:20:08.952 --> 00:20:14.982
So if you look at it as lanes and guardrails, my job is to not hit the guardrail.
00:20:15.252 --> 00:20:17.202
Enjoy life, stay in the lane.
00:20:18.883 --> 00:20:20.083
Stay self-discipline.
00:20:20.383 --> 00:20:28.603
See, this is different when you look at self-discipline because sometimes man, you just shy away from self-discipline 'cause you're like, man, I'm just not disciplined.
00:20:28.873 --> 00:20:31.663
I just fall into the Lay's potato chips every single time.
00:20:31.962 --> 00:20:40.212
It's because you're looking at self-discipline as a form of punishment of, uh, rigidity.
00:20:40.643 --> 00:20:45.653
Versus a practice of self-love and self-respect.
00:20:46.252 --> 00:20:48.593
. So three things I want you to be thinking about.
00:20:49.702 --> 00:20:53.573
Be proactive, but harness the reactive nature.
00:20:54.022 --> 00:20:54.413
Okay?
00:20:54.532 --> 00:20:56.633
So be spontaneous, not reactive.
00:20:58.353 --> 00:20:59.613
Anticipate the triggers.
00:21:00.603 --> 00:21:03.962
And then lastly, think of lanes and guardrails.
00:21:04.323 --> 00:21:05.373
Just stay in your lane.
00:21:05.553 --> 00:21:06.573
Don't hit the guardrail.
00:21:06.873 --> 00:21:08.853
All right, let's get outta here.
00:21:08.853 --> 00:21:09.512
Keep it simple.
00:21:09.512 --> 00:21:10.202
Keep it moving.
00:21:10.202 --> 00:21:10.833
Never settle.
00:21:10.833 --> 00:21:11.403
Stay tough.
00:21:11.403 --> 00:21:11.792
Peace.
00:00:00.479 --> 00:00:01.379
Alright, 3, 2, 1.
00:00:01.379 --> 00:00:01.919
Let's get it.
00:00:02.100 --> 00:00:06.540
Welcome to another edition, episode 990 of What's Your Problem?
00:00:06.540 --> 00:00:07.349
The podcast.
00:00:07.349 --> 00:00:08.490
I'm so excited, man.
00:00:08.490 --> 00:00:12.089
We are, what we are 10 episodes away.
00:00:12.119 --> 00:00:21.780
For those of you who can do math, we're 10 episodes away of a thousand episodes and that's, you know, a thousand episodes just an arbitrary number.
00:00:22.649 --> 00:00:25.289
You know, it's, it's what a feat it is.
00:00:25.289 --> 00:00:27.449
I've been doing this since 2017.
00:00:28.349 --> 00:00:29.644
But it's, it's pretty cool.
00:00:30.315 --> 00:00:37.604
Um, and it's probably the most prevalent thing that I've ever like really stuck to.
00:00:38.354 --> 00:00:42.435
Um, and it's had its peaks and valleys, that's, that's for sure.
00:00:42.435 --> 00:00:47.804
But those of you who have rocked with me for a long time, thank you so much for supporting.
00:00:48.210 --> 00:00:50.340
The podcast, it's had many changes.
00:00:50.340 --> 00:00:57.539
It started off as the sales life because I believe the skills that we learn in sales are part of life.
00:00:57.539 --> 00:01:03.420
It's the same skills, communication, curiosity, creativity, continuous learning and action, productive confrontation.
00:01:05.129 --> 00:01:09.180
Um, and then it evolved into the Marsh Buice Podcast.
00:01:09.629 --> 00:01:11.879
I don't know why I named it that, I guess.
00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:15.179
Because Joe Rogan had the Joe Rogan experience.
00:01:15.179 --> 00:01:15.719
I don't know.
00:01:16.349 --> 00:01:19.920
Um, and then it morphed into What's Your Problem?
00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:22.394
that deal with the three universal problems we all have.
00:01:23.370 --> 00:01:25.680
Adversity, uncertainty and complacency.
00:01:25.680 --> 00:01:31.709
So you need the skills to handle the adversity, embrace uncertainty, and never settle again.
00:01:31.829 --> 00:01:33.390
Beat that complacency back.
00:01:33.390 --> 00:01:44.159
And those skills, ironically, are what the skills started off with in the Sales Life, communication, curiosity, creativity, continuous learning and action, and productive confrontation.
00:01:44.370 --> 00:01:47.219
I get such a joy in being able to bring these episodes.
00:01:47.219 --> 00:01:48.719
I wish I could bring more of them.
00:01:48.930 --> 00:01:50.069
Definitely want to.
00:01:50.730 --> 00:02:01.340
Um, they, they help me., And I turn on the microphone because I feel like that if I'm going through something, then maybe this will help someone else too.
00:02:01.370 --> 00:02:06.769
I don't feel like that we're all unique, that we're the only ones that are experiencing something.
00:02:07.189 --> 00:02:10.579
So me sharing in these episodes.
00:02:11.465 --> 00:02:18.394
Not only, you know, contributes, but also the more I explain it, the better I understand it.
00:02:18.394 --> 00:02:25.204
So it's a selfish benefit on my part because I like to be able to explain things.
00:02:25.925 --> 00:02:29.675
I'm not explaining it to you, I'm explaining it to me.
00:02:30.425 --> 00:02:33.664
So that's why I bring these episodes.
00:02:33.664 --> 00:02:35.044
These episodes are for me.
00:02:35.715 --> 00:02:41.590
Um, I contribute to you and I hope that you can use 'em, but some of these you may listen to, you're like, nah, that ain't me.
00:02:41.650 --> 00:02:42.069
Cool.
00:02:42.099 --> 00:02:45.250
That's why there's almost a thousand of 'em that you can go through.
00:02:45.490 --> 00:02:51.849
So you can just go to this, to the next one or wait for the next one, or you can go to some older ones.
00:02:51.849 --> 00:02:58.300
So I try to keep these episodes pretty short, uh, because I know you got a lot going on.
00:02:58.300 --> 00:03:02.139
So I wanna get you in, get you out, and get you on with your life.
00:03:02.169 --> 00:03:04.689
So I'm reading a book right now.
00:03:06.079 --> 00:03:09.829
By Roxie Nafousi Hopefully I said her name right.
00:03:09.829 --> 00:03:12.590
And it's, the name of the book is called Confidence.
00:03:12.590 --> 00:03:17.419
So as soon as I, I mean the, the title, the, the book cover is just black and white.
00:03:17.419 --> 00:03:21.409
It's just a black cover that says confidence on there.
00:03:21.409 --> 00:03:24.620
It's super simple and, and the, the way.
00:03:25.314 --> 00:03:30.715
The book cover was, it, it instantly drew me in very simple, very captivating.
00:03:30.985 --> 00:03:34.014
Eight, eight steps to know Your Worth.
00:03:34.465 --> 00:03:39.294
And I believe we all suffer in some form or another of confidence.
00:03:39.294 --> 00:03:47.034
But there's a section that I want to read to you for context about self-discipline and what self-discipline is.
00:03:47.094 --> 00:03:50.004
And it really, you know, I read for ideas.
00:03:50.949 --> 00:03:54.879
When something like snags my soul, I'm like, whoa, hold up.
00:03:55.419 --> 00:04:04.300
And it really made me re-look at self-discipline in a different light, and maybe it'll help you as well.
00:04:04.300 --> 00:04:05.830
So let me read to you what she wrote.
00:04:05.830 --> 00:04:11.254
She said, self-discipline isn't about punishment or strict control.
00:04:12.495 --> 00:04:15.099
I always thought it was, it's not about that.
00:04:16.089 --> 00:04:19.000
It's an expression of self love.
00:04:19.918 --> 00:04:20.879
Self-respect.
00:04:22.350 --> 00:04:24.990
I was like, bro, I've never even seen it like that.
00:04:25.319 --> 00:04:36.899
I've seen it as self-discipline, as punishment, as strict control, because I did, I've always seen it as, as like a, as punishment.
00:04:37.139 --> 00:04:45.120
So I've, I've seen it as that, as rigid and it, it was more so like a weapon.
00:04:46.350 --> 00:04:49.019
Instead of a tool, she says it's a tool.
00:04:49.889 --> 00:05:04.185
She said, practicing self-discipline, practicing self-discipline, seeing self-discipline as a practice, practicing self-discipline tells us that our goals, our health and our wellbeing.
00:05:04.949 --> 00:05:10.949
Wellbeing being all five F's, your faith, your family, your fitness, your finances, your fulfillment.
00:05:11.285 --> 00:05:15.545
Your wellbeing and all those areas are worth the effort.
00:05:17.285 --> 00:05:18.154
It's worth the effort.
00:05:18.334 --> 00:05:29.687
So it's a form of self-love, of self-respect that everything that you're doing for your goals, your wellbeing, your health, it's worth it.
00:05:29.687 --> 00:05:31.548
Like what you're doing, it's, it's worth it.
00:05:32.507 --> 00:05:35.687
And you know, it's almost like you're casting a vote.
00:05:36.362 --> 00:05:44.913
Of the person that you wanna become or that you're becoming, let me say that not want to become, because want to become is like, seems so far out there.
00:05:45.153 --> 00:05:50.913
You're just casting a vote or reinforcing through an act of self-respect and self-love.
00:05:50.913 --> 00:05:52.833
Never saw self-discipline that way.
00:05:53.043 --> 00:05:56.463
Always looked at it like David Goggins, beat yourself up.
00:05:56.702 --> 00:05:58.682
You're, you know, you're a POS.
00:05:59.208 --> 00:06:00.168
Get after it.
00:06:00.168 --> 00:06:01.577
That's how I've always seen it.
00:06:01.637 --> 00:06:15.507
I mean, I, I guess probably from my sports background, but she says, when you look at it as a practice, the effort that you take you're prioritizing what truly matters.
00:06:16.767 --> 00:06:24.033
She goes on to say that self-discipline is about making choices that align with our long-term goals.
00:06:25.108 --> 00:06:38.098
And staying committed because we, we believe we're worthy of a life filled with joy, success and love isn't that all of us.
00:06:38.548 --> 00:06:46.168
And I think sometimes we don't feel that we're worthy of joy, of success, of love.
00:06:48.192 --> 00:06:55.333
And proof positive is because we use self-discipline as a weapon.
00:06:56.153 --> 00:07:05.752
Not a practice of self-love and self-respect, and I'm gonna prove to you how that, how that could be happening for you.
00:07:05.932 --> 00:07:10.012
When I read this, I'm like, oh my God, I, I didn't see it like this.
00:07:10.192 --> 00:07:15.742
And there were some things that I've done that have put myself in these jams.
00:07:16.612 --> 00:07:20.752
To really practice self-discipline, but in the wrong way.
00:07:21.862 --> 00:07:24.653
So she says, self-discipline is like a muscle.
00:07:25.163 --> 00:07:28.072
The more you use it, the stronger it gets.
00:07:28.132 --> 00:07:35.033
And you think about anything that you've succeeded in, like the times that you've been disciplined in your life, you've practiced self-discipline.
00:07:35.362 --> 00:07:39.653
Think about those and how strong you've got in these certain areas.
00:07:40.523 --> 00:07:42.173
Only to give it back later on.
00:07:42.242 --> 00:07:49.713
Reading this context right here, put a total different spin on how I looked at self-discipline.
00:07:50.702 --> 00:07:52.052
It's an expression.
00:07:52.473 --> 00:07:55.533
If something is an expression, it's an effort.
00:07:56.673 --> 00:07:57.002
Okay?
00:07:57.153 --> 00:07:58.173
It's an effort.
00:07:58.293 --> 00:08:03.543
It's a casting of the vote of self-love and self-respect.
00:08:05.117 --> 00:08:13.937
When I see it as an expression, it is not all this woowoo because if she says self, it probably, I probably would've even paused on this.
00:08:14.208 --> 00:08:24.048
If she would've written self-discipline is self-love and self-respect, I, I probably wouldn't have even stopped.
00:08:24.827 --> 00:08:31.427
But when she said it's, it's a conscious effort, it's an expression, it's a practice.
00:08:32.942 --> 00:08:34.743
Of self-love and self-respect.
00:08:35.432 --> 00:08:38.763
That is the thing that gave me pause.
00:08:38.763 --> 00:08:43.413
I'm like, I have never seen self-discipline that way.
00:08:44.023 --> 00:08:46.682
Self-discipline is not a form of punishment.
00:08:47.283 --> 00:08:52.567
As a matter of fact, the lack of self-discipline is a form of punishment.
00:08:53.253 --> 00:08:57.873
Think about that because you put yourself, let me, let me prove it to you.
00:08:58.232 --> 00:09:02.883
Do you look at self-discipline as a form of punishment?
00:09:04.488 --> 00:09:05.028
You may.
00:09:05.028 --> 00:09:06.618
You may, and not even realize it.
00:09:07.038 --> 00:09:09.378
Writing this out made me realize it.
00:09:09.378 --> 00:09:15.288
This is why I say you should read and then you should write your interpretation.
00:09:15.528 --> 00:09:17.087
You free flow, your thoughts.
00:09:17.298 --> 00:09:29.238
I've been working on this for a few days, just kind of, I wrote it all out word for word at first, and I just put the pad aside and let it slosh around for a couple of days and then I came back to it today and was like, what does this mean to me?
00:09:29.668 --> 00:09:29.817
Okay.
00:09:29.817 --> 00:09:31.138
Sometimes that's what you do.
00:09:31.138 --> 00:09:37.738
You sometimes writing is like a good steak, you gotta cook it, and then you gotta let it sit and let it marinate.
00:09:37.738 --> 00:09:39.778
And sometimes that's what we have to do in life.
00:09:40.138 --> 00:09:50.067
So back to my point, you may not realize that you use self-discipline as a form of punishment.
00:09:50.638 --> 00:09:52.467
Let me show you how you may do this.
00:09:52.677 --> 00:09:54.717
I saw it as soon as I wrote this out.
00:09:54.717 --> 00:09:55.738
I saw it in myself.
00:09:56.768 --> 00:09:59.138
I am a come from behind kind of guy.
00:10:00.128 --> 00:10:01.567
I procrastinate.
00:10:01.898 --> 00:10:06.067
I get to the very edge of something and then I don't know what it is.
00:10:06.128 --> 00:10:07.418
I just seem to thrive.
00:10:07.748 --> 00:10:08.107
Okay?
00:10:08.317 --> 00:10:10.238
That is a good skill to have.
00:10:10.658 --> 00:10:13.057
That is not a good blueprint in life.
00:10:13.317 --> 00:10:16.977
One reason why I'm attracted to sales, I've been in sales for 28 years.
00:10:16.977 --> 00:10:23.488
One reason why I have been so successful in sales is because I thrive.
00:10:24.087 --> 00:10:39.927
On the pressure cooker last minute situations, this probably goes back to my playing days in college football where there was no timeouts left, final drive, fourth and four.
00:10:40.837 --> 00:10:43.998
And had to, keep the drive alive by getting a first down.
00:10:44.538 --> 00:10:46.758
And I never wilted under those pressures.
00:10:46.758 --> 00:10:48.738
It was like, oh, let's go.
00:10:48.798 --> 00:10:53.658
And so in sales, that is transferred very well to me, but also.
00:10:54.243 --> 00:11:00.092
It's a good, like I said, it's a good skill to have, but it's not good to put yourself in those situations.
00:11:00.153 --> 00:11:09.182
And what I realized is when you look at self-discipline as a weapon, you end up unconsciously not even knowing it.
00:11:09.543 --> 00:11:12.783
You end up putting yourself behind the eight ball.
00:11:13.113 --> 00:11:16.442
You put yourself in these pressure cooker.
00:11:16.903 --> 00:11:20.592
Have to come from behind jam kind of situations.
00:11:20.802 --> 00:11:28.243
Now I gotta work out of it, but strangely, that's the time that I've come alive and I'm like, oh, let's go.
00:11:29.023 --> 00:11:38.173
So, you know, specifically, let me just, the, the two areas that really resonated for me may resonate for you is your fitness and your finances.
00:11:38.623 --> 00:11:40.182
So I have put myself.
00:11:40.878 --> 00:11:42.378
In debt many times.
00:11:42.378 --> 00:11:44.447
Dude, I've, I've done this a hundred times.
00:11:44.447 --> 00:11:45.768
It's just this big loop.
00:11:46.577 --> 00:11:54.827
You, you, you put yourself in debt, you get in this hit the wall moment, and then you're like, oh, okay.
00:11:54.918 --> 00:12:01.173
And then you get real hardcore, real disciplined, and you work yourself out of it.
00:12:02.687 --> 00:12:04.097
Same thing in fitness.
00:12:04.278 --> 00:12:07.307
Dude, I've been 285 pounds.
00:12:07.727 --> 00:12:08.087
Okay?
00:12:08.207 --> 00:12:10.128
I've been 189 pounds.
00:12:10.278 --> 00:12:11.748
I've been all over the place.
00:12:12.168 --> 00:12:14.207
I mean, there are different chapters in my life.
00:12:14.913 --> 00:12:25.113
So obviously I have proven to myself that I can lose a hundred pounds and I've never done it with shots or pills or anything like that.
00:12:25.113 --> 00:12:37.587
Just self-discipline, goggin style, like get after it only to get to a place and then give it all back or give a lot of it back.
00:12:38.852 --> 00:12:44.673
In my fitness and finances, I've done that because I used it as a weapon, not a tool.
00:12:45.273 --> 00:12:59.972
And so you put yourself in this situation, but the problem with that great skill to have, the problem with that is you're so exhausted that you end up getting complacent.
00:13:00.903 --> 00:13:01.952
You're exhausted.
00:13:02.702 --> 00:13:03.633
You let up.
00:13:04.488 --> 00:13:14.028
You ease back up, you ease back into the old life, you revert back to 'em, you get yourself in this jam again, and then you come alive.
00:13:14.477 --> 00:13:15.827
Does that sound familiar for you?
00:13:15.827 --> 00:13:23.418
'cause it, I, when I read this, I'm like, oh my god, it, it's really a form of self abandonment and self-sabotage.
00:13:23.717 --> 00:13:24.378
It is.
00:13:24.888 --> 00:13:26.778
And I use both of those words.
00:13:27.452 --> 00:13:31.873
Differently because sometimes I haven't felt worthy of success.
00:13:32.052 --> 00:13:32.982
Self-sabotage.
00:13:33.192 --> 00:13:35.322
Sometimes I felt woe is me.
00:13:35.352 --> 00:13:40.993
Selfa, abandonment, not loved, not appreciated, not gonna be anything in life.
00:13:40.993 --> 00:13:42.253
Kick the can down the road.
00:13:42.253 --> 00:13:43.003
Self abandonment.
00:13:43.302 --> 00:13:45.582
I've abandoned myself in those situations.
00:13:46.302 --> 00:13:51.592
So when you look at self-discipline as a practice.
00:13:52.840 --> 00:13:58.419
And like casting the vote of, of form of self-love and self-respect.
00:13:58.929 --> 00:14:03.009
It's not these huge leaps and bounds that you have to, to do and be.
00:14:04.120 --> 00:14:15.789
So I want to give you a few things that I'm gonna practice on, but it's bringing an awareness to it in hopes that you'll use self-discipline now as a tool, as a practice.
00:14:16.825 --> 00:14:19.105
Of self-love and self-respect for yourself.
00:14:19.164 --> 00:14:21.144
Dude, this is all for you.
00:14:21.235 --> 00:14:22.554
It's not for anybody else.
00:14:23.184 --> 00:14:26.274
Other people get to benefit from this, okay?
00:14:26.424 --> 00:14:29.394
Because you bring a better version of yourself.
00:14:29.544 --> 00:14:32.245
So the first practice of self-discipline.
00:14:33.654 --> 00:14:34.884
Is to be proactive.
00:14:35.664 --> 00:14:37.225
I'm a reactive kind of guy.
00:14:37.764 --> 00:14:41.695
Come from behind, get yourself in a jam, boom, hit the mark.
00:14:41.784 --> 00:14:42.745
I can do that.
00:14:43.115 --> 00:14:47.284
Again, it's a, it's a good skillset to have.
00:14:47.404 --> 00:14:49.774
It is not a good blueprint in, in life.
00:14:50.284 --> 00:14:52.875
So the first thing is to be proactive.
00:14:52.937 --> 00:14:56.807
And the way you do that is a few things.
00:14:56.898 --> 00:14:58.337
A, just develop a routine.
00:14:58.337 --> 00:15:10.585
A couple of things that you do that reinforce that are in alignment with your goals, with your wellbeing, with your health, in your faith, your family, your fitness, your finances, your fulfillment, okay?
00:15:10.585 --> 00:15:18.985
Just a few things that keep you in alignment with those things that you're just consistently feeding that every single day.
00:15:19.164 --> 00:15:27.835
Now, the reason why I'm not proactive or don't really like proactive measures is because proactive is is boring.
00:15:28.345 --> 00:15:29.034
It is.
00:15:29.544 --> 00:15:32.034
I like the pressure, which is why I got into the sales.
00:15:32.095 --> 00:15:35.394
I like some people just splatter on that.
00:15:35.394 --> 00:15:36.504
They don't like that I do.
00:15:37.014 --> 00:15:40.914
So you could be proactive.
00:15:40.914 --> 00:15:41.934
So I've gotta be proactive.
00:15:43.299 --> 00:15:49.059
But also I can harness the reactive nature in myself, but that way I don't jack my nervous system up.
00:15:49.240 --> 00:15:54.639
See, you jack your nervous system up if you're constantly in stress mode trying to dig outta certain situations.
00:15:55.059 --> 00:15:58.120
So now what I can be is, is I can be proactive.
00:15:59.200 --> 00:16:01.659
And harness the reactive nature.
00:16:01.779 --> 00:16:03.460
By being spontaneous.
00:16:03.580 --> 00:16:06.820
You can be spontaneous, just don't be reactive.
00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:14.049
So you can use some spiciness, some all of the sudden, but I'm already proactive.
00:16:14.139 --> 00:16:20.139
I'm already ahead of things and I, I hate, what, what's crazy is I thrive on.
00:16:20.649 --> 00:16:21.669
Reactive nature.
00:16:21.818 --> 00:16:23.620
I thrive on coming from behind.
00:16:23.769 --> 00:16:25.179
But bro, it stresses me out.
00:16:25.179 --> 00:16:27.909
I'm like, oh my God, how do I keep getting this situation?
00:16:27.970 --> 00:16:29.259
'cause I put myself there.
00:16:29.590 --> 00:16:31.779
Be proactive, be ahead of the curve.
00:16:32.230 --> 00:16:32.559
Okay?
00:16:33.850 --> 00:16:40.299
The second way to practice self-discipline is to anticipate triggers.
00:16:41.482 --> 00:16:42.293
Anticipate 'em.
00:16:42.592 --> 00:16:44.062
What are the environments?
00:16:44.482 --> 00:16:47.722
What are the people that cause you to.
00:16:48.832 --> 00:17:05.272
Revert back that cause you to either self- abandon or self-sabotage yourself that cause you to get way off the road, anticipate these things, try to stay away from 'em, or minimize those, those areas.
00:17:05.482 --> 00:17:11.813
And if you can anticipate this, you know you're going into this environment, then you keep an awareness.
00:17:12.667 --> 00:17:22.298
Uh, a vigilance about you that I'm gonna practice self-discipline, self-respect, self-love, not gonna sabotage.
00:17:22.508 --> 00:17:23.647
They can do all that.
00:17:23.708 --> 00:17:24.577
I'm not doing that.
00:17:24.938 --> 00:17:25.268
Okay.
00:17:25.448 --> 00:17:32.053
So anticipate the triggers We all have triggers, we all have things that we just reactively do.
00:17:33.748 --> 00:17:36.472
Uh, situations, moments, environments.
00:17:36.712 --> 00:17:46.403
Hell, bro, you can go home to your childhood home and boom, all of a sudden you're doing the same bullshit you did 30 years ago with fellas that are still hanging on the corner.
00:17:46.972 --> 00:17:47.813
It happens.
00:17:48.053 --> 00:17:50.603
So anticipate these things can't make it.
00:17:51.682 --> 00:17:53.873
That's, that's the best way to be.
00:17:54.103 --> 00:17:55.153
So that's the second thing.
00:17:55.153 --> 00:17:55.873
The third way.
00:17:56.423 --> 00:18:06.542
I want you to think in the, in the form of self-discipline, of casting a vote of self-love and self-respect is, think of lanes and guardrails.
00:18:07.053 --> 00:18:11.313
A lane on a highway, your lane that you're going in is 12 feet wide.
00:18:11.762 --> 00:18:13.232
I don't just naturally know this.
00:18:13.232 --> 00:18:14.012
I'll look this up.
00:18:14.222 --> 00:18:15.303
It's 12 feet wide.
00:18:15.752 --> 00:18:20.282
The lane is not just big enough just for your vehicle, like you have no margin.
00:18:20.678 --> 00:18:29.347
Your lane is wide enough to not only have your vehicle in the lane, but also has some flexibility while going down that that road.
00:18:29.738 --> 00:18:31.087
That's what your life is.
00:18:31.268 --> 00:18:33.397
Your life is.
00:18:34.222 --> 00:18:34.942
A lane.
00:18:35.133 --> 00:18:37.803
It's got some flexibility, so it doesn't have to be perfect.
00:18:37.803 --> 00:18:39.482
It doesn't have to be rigid.
00:18:39.823 --> 00:18:43.303
Your thought process is, I just gotta stay in the lane.
00:18:43.722 --> 00:18:45.553
Because if you get outta that lane.
00:18:46.438 --> 00:18:47.577
And veer off.
00:18:48.057 --> 00:18:49.377
You're gonna hit the guardrails.
00:18:49.798 --> 00:18:53.008
The goal today is to stay in your lane.
00:18:53.367 --> 00:18:54.807
Have that flexibility.
00:18:55.077 --> 00:18:56.248
Enjoy life.
00:18:56.657 --> 00:18:58.397
Just don't self-sabotage.
00:18:58.817 --> 00:19:00.768
Don't self abandon yourself.
00:19:00.917 --> 00:19:02.357
Don't hit the guardrails.
00:19:02.607 --> 00:19:04.647
An interesting thing about the guardrails.
00:19:05.067 --> 00:19:07.468
Guardrails are there to protect you.
00:19:08.817 --> 00:19:10.018
They will damage you.
00:19:11.157 --> 00:19:12.208
They won't kill you.
00:19:12.657 --> 00:19:17.458
So they're meant to cause damage, but not to the point where it kills you.
00:19:17.758 --> 00:19:31.593
The guardrails in your life are these moments where you get yourself behind the eight ball and it's these wake up moments all of the sudden now you're 50 pounds overweight or a hundred thousand dollars in debt.
00:19:32.518 --> 00:19:34.137
And you're like, oh my God.
00:19:34.137 --> 00:19:35.788
All of a sudden you hit the guardrail.
00:19:36.057 --> 00:19:38.127
Okay, so they caused some damage.
00:19:38.307 --> 00:19:39.627
You gotta dig out of it.
00:19:39.928 --> 00:19:44.577
You get behind the eight ball, you probably come alive, but that's at a reactive state.
00:19:44.577 --> 00:19:46.288
Jacks up your nervous system.
00:19:46.948 --> 00:19:49.528
But again, it's good tool.
00:19:49.827 --> 00:19:53.637
It's a good skillset, I should say, to have.
00:19:54.042 --> 00:19:57.942
You prove to yourself that you can come from behind.
00:19:58.333 --> 00:20:00.133
We just don't wanna stay that way.
00:20:01.903 --> 00:20:08.653
You don't wanna live your life that way because if you don't do something different, you're always gonna be this way.
00:20:08.952 --> 00:20:14.982
So if you look at it as lanes and guardrails, my job is to not hit the guardrail.
00:20:15.252 --> 00:20:17.202
Enjoy life, stay in the lane.
00:20:18.883 --> 00:20:20.083
Stay self-discipline.
00:20:20.383 --> 00:20:28.603
See, this is different when you look at self-discipline because sometimes man, you just shy away from self-discipline 'cause you're like, man, I'm just not disciplined.
00:20:28.873 --> 00:20:31.663
I just fall into the Lay's potato chips every single time.
00:20:31.962 --> 00:20:40.212
It's because you're looking at self-discipline as a form of punishment of, uh, rigidity.
00:20:40.643 --> 00:20:45.653
Versus a practice of self-love and self-respect.
00:20:46.252 --> 00:20:48.593
. So three things I want you to be thinking about.
00:20:49.702 --> 00:20:53.573
Be proactive, but harness the reactive nature.
00:20:54.022 --> 00:20:54.413
Okay?
00:20:54.532 --> 00:20:56.633
So be spontaneous, not reactive.
00:20:58.353 --> 00:20:59.613
Anticipate the triggers.
00:21:00.603 --> 00:21:03.962
And then lastly, think of lanes and guardrails.
00:21:04.323 --> 00:21:05.373
Just stay in your lane.
00:21:05.553 --> 00:21:06.573
Don't hit the guardrail.
00:21:06.873 --> 00:21:08.853
All right, let's get outta here.
00:21:08.853 --> 00:21:09.512
Keep it simple.
00:21:09.512 --> 00:21:10.202
Keep it moving.
00:21:10.202 --> 00:21:10.833
Never settle.
00:21:10.833 --> 00:21:11.403
Stay tough.
00:21:11.403 --> 00:21:11.792
Peace.