Feb. 1, 2026
984. What's Your Definition Of Success Really Costing You?
Send us a text When you hear the word success, what do you think of? Most people think of results. Wins. Outcomes. Money. Titles. Validation. Very few people think of peace of mind. In this episode, I challenge that definition—and honestly, I challenge myself. Because tying success to results is one of the fastest ways to lose control, stay unsettled, and carry unnecessary weight from the past. Here’s the reframe: Success isn’t a result. Success is peace of mind. I break down the three ...
When you hear the word success, what do you think of?
Most people think of results. Wins. Outcomes. Money. Titles. Validation.
Very few people think of peace of mind.
In this episode, I challenge that definition—and honestly, I challenge myself. Because tying success to results is one of the fastest ways to lose control, stay unsettled, and carry unnecessary weight from the past.
Here’s the reframe:
Success isn’t a result. Success is peace of mind.
I break down the three disruptors that quietly steal that peace—the past, your current positioning, and your phobias (fear)—and why obsessing over outcomes keeps you stuck. You’ll hear why you can do everything “right” and still lose… or do everything “wrong” and still win… and why that alone proves results can’t be the scorecard.
This episode is about effort over outcomes, becoming over arriving, and learning how to end the day with self-satisfaction—knowing you made the effort, regardless of how it turned out.
If you’ve been restless, unsettled, or measuring yourself by wins and losses alone, this is a reset.
Success is peace of mind.
The question is: do you have it?
📣Who needs to hear this episode? Please share with ONE PERSON who needs to hear this message.
🛑 Watch & subscribe to episodes on my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiNqFo05MJ6_yCu1vJ3rX4A
📝Show your ❤️ by thumbing a quick rating and review for any platform: https://www.marshbuice.com/reviews/new/
🤝See my daily stories: https://www.instagram.com/marshbuice/
💭 Daily thoughts on X @marshbuice
💼 Blog posts on LinkedIn @marshbuice
👩💻 FREE Content! www.marshbuice.com
Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough.
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.254
This morning I got to thinking about.
00:00:03.584 --> 00:00:04.605
Success.
00:00:05.474 --> 00:00:07.333
Like what is success?
00:00:07.934 --> 00:00:25.303
And when I was thinking about it, I realized, you know, maybe I'm looking at it in the wrong way because most of the time you tie success to a result, right?
00:00:25.754 --> 00:00:27.344
Like, did it work?
00:00:27.794 --> 00:00:30.943
Did I win, did I get what I wanted?
00:00:31.949 --> 00:00:38.340
And if the result didn't show up the way that I hoped, well then I wasn't successful.
00:00:39.659 --> 00:00:47.609
And that's false because success isn't a result.
00:00:49.439 --> 00:00:52.109
Success is peace of mind.
00:00:53.549 --> 00:00:55.049
It's that inner peace.
00:00:56.119 --> 00:01:09.140
A lot of times we don't have that peace of mind, and I believe there are three disruptors to having success when you equate it to your peace of mind.
00:01:10.280 --> 00:01:17.606
And they all start with the letter P, the past, your position, and your phobias.
00:01:18.777 --> 00:01:24.753
So when you tie success to a specific outcome, you give up control.
00:01:26.162 --> 00:01:29.433
You're hoping for, I need this to validate who I am.
00:01:30.093 --> 00:01:31.623
But when you tie success.
00:01:32.972 --> 00:01:35.072
And this is, this has just challenged me.
00:01:35.612 --> 00:01:47.647
When I tie success to peace of mind, it becomes, I don't know, in a strange way, liberating, and it becomes controllable.
00:01:49.173 --> 00:01:54.212
Like literally, you can control your success.
00:01:55.212 --> 00:02:09.376
I can't control the outcome, but I can control my inner state my peace of mind, and that's where success really lives.
00:02:10.022 --> 00:02:16.502
So let me unpack the three disruptors to your success.
00:02:17.522 --> 00:02:19.052
Success is in peace of mind.
00:02:20.013 --> 00:02:27.212
Again, the past, your positioning, which is in the present, and then your phobias, your fears.
00:02:27.423 --> 00:02:29.462
So let's talk about the first one, the past.
00:02:30.872 --> 00:02:38.312
The past is the first thing that steals your peace because you know yourself better than anyone.
00:02:38.943 --> 00:02:40.263
You know your failures.
00:02:40.712 --> 00:02:42.122
You know your shortcomings.
00:02:42.122 --> 00:02:46.592
You know all the times that you've blown it, the should, could've, would've.
00:02:47.492 --> 00:02:51.929
And when you end up carrying that forward, it weighs you down.
00:02:52.782 --> 00:02:57.223
The losses don't just stay in the past, they bleed into your present.
00:02:58.228 --> 00:03:00.867
They affect how you end up showing up today.
00:03:01.437 --> 00:03:06.777
They affect your confidence and they affect how you position yourself.
00:03:07.198 --> 00:03:08.337
And that's the second piece.
00:03:08.337 --> 00:03:09.957
See, these are all linked together.
00:03:10.587 --> 00:03:16.858
Again, your past, your positioning, which is your present, and then your phobias.
00:03:17.848 --> 00:03:25.312
So that past is linked to your present, which affects your positioning.
00:03:26.707 --> 00:03:28.027
You gotta understand something, man.
00:03:28.027 --> 00:03:32.617
You're either working yourself into a position or working yourself out of one.
00:03:33.907 --> 00:03:34.987
No two ways about it.
00:03:35.467 --> 00:03:42.578
And so when you link your present to your past, it ends up amplifying the damage.
00:03:43.207 --> 00:03:48.578
It becomes easier to play yourself out of a position without even realizing it.
00:03:48.578 --> 00:03:51.337
It's like, it's really like a form of self-sabotage.
00:03:52.837 --> 00:03:54.608
This is why you gotta do hard things.
00:03:55.823 --> 00:03:56.723
Hard things.
00:03:56.782 --> 00:03:57.893
Nobody likes doing them.
00:03:58.372 --> 00:04:06.263
They're uncomfortable, but they're reminders that you can do hard things.
00:04:06.682 --> 00:04:22.281
This may be the hardest it's ever been, but it's not the hardest it'll ever be, and so doing hard things, Carter rises the past and works yourself into a better position, but it takes time.
00:04:23.862 --> 00:04:31.572
You didn't work yourself out of a position overnight, and you're not gonna work yourself into a position in an instant.
00:04:31.992 --> 00:04:32.831
It takes time.
00:04:33.192 --> 00:04:36.101
Time is a wonderful storyteller.
00:04:36.601 --> 00:04:42.781
So the simple question to ask yourself every day, did I put myself in a better position today?
00:04:43.622 --> 00:04:44.132
That's it.
00:04:45.091 --> 00:04:47.101
And truthfully, you're the only one.
00:04:47.161 --> 00:04:48.151
You can rationalize it.
00:04:48.151 --> 00:04:49.622
You can tell it, you can.
00:04:49.622 --> 00:04:51.331
You can explain it all the way to me.
00:04:51.572 --> 00:04:54.271
Deep down inside, you know what the real answer is.
00:04:54.752 --> 00:05:01.574
See, when you don't work yourself into the best possible position that day, you end up pulling back.
00:05:02.264 --> 00:05:09.495
You end up getting these little, it's death by a thousand cuts, these little thin slices to your confidence.
00:05:11.134 --> 00:05:14.555
And that feeds into the third point, which is your phobias.
00:05:15.305 --> 00:05:16.175
That's your fears.
00:05:17.464 --> 00:05:23.165
The past affects your position, and your position affects your confidence.
00:05:23.375 --> 00:05:26.495
The absence of confidence is the presence of fear.
00:05:27.117 --> 00:05:27.718
And what do you fear?
00:05:28.692 --> 00:05:29.983
You what if yourself to death?
00:05:30.132 --> 00:05:37.783
You fear the outcome, you fear the rejection, and you fear what happens after you fail.
00:05:38.562 --> 00:05:42.012
And that's a lot of times like once I get told no, like I don't know what I'm gonna do.
00:05:42.012 --> 00:05:43.692
So we self-sabotage ourselves.
00:05:43.963 --> 00:05:50.533
We tell ourselves no and assume a no instead of being brave enough to hear a no.
00:05:50.593 --> 00:05:52.153
That's part of doing hard things too.
00:05:52.333 --> 00:05:53.382
It builds that courage.
00:05:54.432 --> 00:05:55.093
And so.
00:05:55.677 --> 00:06:09.492
When you, when you have these phobias, these fear of rejection, fear of the outcome, you hesitate, you negotiate with yourself, and you what if yourself to death.
00:06:10.492 --> 00:06:24.399
And then when you get the result, you use that result, you wear that result as an identity, failing is a process, not an identity.
00:06:25.449 --> 00:06:26.680
You don't wear the failure.
00:06:26.680 --> 00:06:29.589
It's not a, it's not who you are, it's where you are.
00:06:31.089 --> 00:06:38.529
So when you have that result, you analyze, you adjust, you learn from it, and then you move forward.
00:06:39.079 --> 00:06:41.629
You can't tie success to a specific result.
00:06:42.680 --> 00:06:49.100
Because you can do everything statistically right, and it still come out wrong.
00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:52.579
I mean, you had it by the, by the numbers.
00:06:52.579 --> 00:06:53.839
You painted by the numbers.
00:06:53.839 --> 00:06:57.439
You did everything you were supposed to do, and it still doesn't come out right.
00:06:57.649 --> 00:07:04.134
You can do everything right and still get it wrong, yet you can do everything wrong and somehow still get it right.
00:07:04.923 --> 00:07:07.473
So why are you so worried about the outcome?
00:07:07.473 --> 00:07:18.632
I know it's easier said than done, but this is the part where you just gotta, you gotta zoom out sometimes and really challenge what success looks like to you and what success really is.
00:07:19.632 --> 00:07:22.807
Look if results were the only measure of success.
00:07:23.807 --> 00:07:32.387
No one will be successful if you think about anybody that you admire, anybody that you've emulate.
00:07:32.387 --> 00:07:40.038
The reason why they're a success now is because they failed more than they succeeded, yet they still kept going.
00:07:40.608 --> 00:07:41.447
They didn't tie it to their past.
00:07:43.317 --> 00:07:48.358
They're constantly working themselves into a better position, and they didn't fear the outcome.
00:07:48.567 --> 00:07:52.077
They just learned from it and they kept going because you know what?
00:07:52.408 --> 00:07:53.517
They can't all say no.
00:07:53.937 --> 00:07:55.108
That's how you gotta look at it.
00:07:56.108 --> 00:07:59.588
Peace of mind doesn't come from the result.
00:08:00.548 --> 00:08:07.033
It comes from knowing that you gave a hundred percent effort in the moment.
00:08:07.762 --> 00:08:28.447
That's, it sounds so cliche to say, but it's so true, and this is the part when you give a hundred percent effort, okay, it may not have had the right, the expected result that you wanted, but it compounds because you keep learning, you keep iterating, you keep evolving.
00:08:29.168 --> 00:08:30.608
I love what Coach Wooden said.
00:08:30.937 --> 00:08:34.207
Coach John Wooden said, success is, I did a whole podcast on this.
00:08:34.567 --> 00:08:48.337
Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self satisfaction in knowing that you made the effort to do your best, to become the best that you're capable of becoming.
00:08:48.758 --> 00:08:51.248
Bro, just put that on a Post-it note.
00:08:51.518 --> 00:08:52.508
Lemme read it to you again.
00:08:52.807 --> 00:08:54.577
Success is peace of mind.
00:08:55.988 --> 00:09:01.957
There it is again, which is a direct result of self satisfaction.
00:09:02.138 --> 00:09:07.508
It's probably the only time to be satisfied that self satisfaction knowing I know that.
00:09:07.508 --> 00:09:08.077
I know that.
00:09:08.077 --> 00:09:11.168
I know that you made the effort.
00:09:11.738 --> 00:09:14.738
See, he didn't say gave the effort because you can.
00:09:14.857 --> 00:09:17.677
Half ass gave, but you made the effort.
00:09:17.677 --> 00:09:20.197
When you make something, it's a finished product.
00:09:20.197 --> 00:09:21.403
When you made here, I made this.
00:09:22.192 --> 00:09:23.633
That's, that's the result.
00:09:23.903 --> 00:09:36.712
Okay, so I made the effort, may not have been perfect, made a, may not have resulted in the outcome I wanted, but I made it so I have that self-satisfaction.
00:09:37.432 --> 00:09:39.832
It's a peace of mind, direct result.
00:09:40.538 --> 00:09:46.118
The direct link, self-satisfaction and knowing I made the effort to do your best.
00:09:46.148 --> 00:09:48.368
It was your best in the moment, it's not the best.
00:09:48.668 --> 00:09:52.687
It's not the best it'll ever be, but it's not the worst it's ever been either.
00:09:53.048 --> 00:09:59.707
So it's the best in the moment to become, become as important because it is a shaping.
00:09:59.707 --> 00:10:07.597
It is fluid, it is alignment to become the best that you're capable of becoming.
00:10:08.918 --> 00:10:11.077
That is no comparison to anybody else.
00:10:11.857 --> 00:10:19.057
I don't care who did it quicker, faster, longer, better than you, younger than you, who cares.
00:10:19.148 --> 00:10:20.557
Everybody's incline is different.
00:10:20.918 --> 00:10:22.388
Everybody's track is different.
00:10:22.658 --> 00:10:26.798
Some people can start off in a blaze and blow themselves up.
00:10:27.038 --> 00:10:32.258
Some people can take forever to get started and skyrocket to the top.
00:10:32.707 --> 00:10:33.638
You don't know.
00:10:34.988 --> 00:10:35.952
So why worry about them?
00:10:37.373 --> 00:10:39.113
Just focus on you a hundred percent effort.
00:10:40.113 --> 00:10:44.883
See, when you tie something to a goal, I mean, what do we always say?
00:10:45.003 --> 00:10:48.692
I mean, you, you, you, you do the goal, you set the goal.
00:10:49.712 --> 00:10:52.982
I just did a episode on fine about being fine.
00:10:53.523 --> 00:10:55.413
That means go back and listen to it.
00:10:56.013 --> 00:10:57.993
That means like, I'm fine.
00:10:58.383 --> 00:11:00.572
Means that you define what fine looks like.
00:11:00.572 --> 00:11:03.513
Man, if I could only get to this, okay man, my life will be fine.
00:11:03.513 --> 00:11:03.993
Boom.
00:11:04.202 --> 00:11:06.842
Then you gotta redefine it.
00:11:06.903 --> 00:11:07.952
You gotta level up.
00:11:08.403 --> 00:11:13.682
So that's why I'm saying like that doesn't equate to a success.
00:11:13.893 --> 00:11:14.822
That's just a goal.
00:11:14.822 --> 00:11:16.202
And goals are fleeting.
00:11:16.802 --> 00:11:19.258
Goals come and go, goes ebb and flow.
00:11:21.482 --> 00:11:23.673
So why tie yourself to a goal?
00:11:24.003 --> 00:11:26.613
It's important, but don't tie.
00:11:28.352 --> 00:11:31.562
Your identity to a goal.
00:11:32.972 --> 00:11:35.013
You strive to have that peace of mind.
00:11:35.493 --> 00:11:38.373
You push yourself hard, you do hard things.
00:11:38.972 --> 00:11:40.413
You learn from the past.
00:11:40.682 --> 00:11:46.783
You're constantly working yourself into a position, and I have no fear of the outcome.
00:11:47.293 --> 00:11:49.393
Whatever it is, it's gonna be what it is.
00:11:49.873 --> 00:11:53.773
I don't control the result, but I can heavily influence it.
00:11:54.163 --> 00:12:07.028
Based on what I do, based on learning from the past, not leaching off of it, learning from it and working myself in a better position.
00:12:07.057 --> 00:12:07.927
Okay, I get it.
00:12:08.168 --> 00:12:08.857
I got it.
00:12:09.488 --> 00:12:10.357
Understand.
00:12:11.288 --> 00:12:12.607
Lemme reanalyze that.
00:12:12.788 --> 00:12:13.957
How did that happen?
00:12:14.408 --> 00:12:15.128
What did I do?
00:12:15.128 --> 00:12:16.898
What were all the events that come to that?
00:12:16.898 --> 00:12:21.908
See that's positioning, and then I go again, let's go.
00:12:22.908 --> 00:12:38.298
And as I got to thinking about this with peace of mind, the reason why, like you and I, sometimes we can't sleep and we can't shut off because we just like unsettled.
00:12:40.232 --> 00:12:53.793
It's because we're tying it to a result and normally we're tying it to a result and it's linked back to our past.
00:12:54.003 --> 00:12:54.842
So we validate.
00:12:54.842 --> 00:12:57.482
I knew, I mean, I'm always losing never happens for me.
00:12:57.513 --> 00:13:01.562
I can, I can't, you know, if I couldn't buy a win, if I want, tie it to our past.
00:13:03.738 --> 00:13:06.288
We worked ourselves out of a position.
00:13:06.528 --> 00:13:07.457
So that's ownership.
00:13:07.457 --> 00:13:08.388
That takes agency.
00:13:08.388 --> 00:13:19.337
When you say, okay, that peace of mind, even though you're not in the right position, if you know where you need to start positioning yourself over time.
00:13:19.457 --> 00:13:20.597
Remember the game we're playing.
00:13:20.597 --> 00:13:25.937
Remember the timeline we're on eventually, and ultimately, eventually things are gonna turn in your favor.
00:13:25.937 --> 00:13:27.618
Ultimately, you will succeed.
00:13:28.788 --> 00:13:29.298
Okay?
00:13:29.388 --> 00:13:30.423
Gotta have that peace of mind.
00:13:31.423 --> 00:13:32.802
But we're not settled.
00:13:33.342 --> 00:13:37.663
We don't have the peace of mind because of the past, because of the positioning.
00:13:38.023 --> 00:13:39.913
And then we fear the the outcome.
00:13:39.913 --> 00:13:41.113
Like, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
00:13:41.322 --> 00:13:45.613
Look, you're proof right now that you have survived.
00:13:46.363 --> 00:13:47.232
All the hell.
00:13:47.232 --> 00:13:52.363
I mean when all the chips were down, when you're like, if this don't happen, man, I'm going under and here you are today.
00:13:52.692 --> 00:13:58.982
Lo and behold, some of the best moments in my life came from repositioning after the worst moments of my life.
00:14:00.663 --> 00:14:07.383
I couldn't, it was too, it was too painful to continue to hold that past, and I just had to reinvent myself.
00:14:08.613 --> 00:14:09.812
I had to just start over.
00:14:10.352 --> 00:14:10.743
Okay.
00:14:11.432 --> 00:14:27.212
And I had to put myself in a better position, which my positioning every day is reading every day from a random book writing, unpacking my thoughts, really giving it some thought, sharing it, and then living it.
00:14:27.543 --> 00:14:28.863
That's the challenge today.
00:14:29.493 --> 00:14:29.883
Okay.
00:14:29.972 --> 00:14:40.592
I, I want peace of mind Some days, man, I'm, I'm just like you some days, man, it's just like, I, I feel like I'm just getting older and, and getting softer, and I'm like, oh, man.
00:14:42.182 --> 00:14:46.413
Is your unsettled mind linked to your current position?
00:14:46.743 --> 00:14:49.113
You can rework yourself into a better position.
00:14:49.758 --> 00:14:54.317
Not immediately, but over time, or is it linked to a phobia?
00:14:54.618 --> 00:15:01.097
You fear the rejection, you fear the result, so you don't confront what's it tied to.
00:15:02.097 --> 00:15:03.418
That's the only thing that matters Today.
00:15:04.288 --> 00:15:07.798
The only thing that matters is did you give a hundred percent effort in the moment?
00:15:08.128 --> 00:15:10.258
I know it sounds cliche, but that's it.
00:15:11.187 --> 00:15:16.258
And the only way you can give a hundred percent effort if you really think about this is.
00:15:17.263 --> 00:15:21.192
Not letting your past dictate what you're gonna do next.
00:15:22.062 --> 00:15:22.452
Okay?
00:15:22.903 --> 00:15:24.643
Other than the lessons that I learned.
00:15:24.643 --> 00:15:29.383
Carry the lessons over, not the losses, and then reposition yourself.
00:15:29.682 --> 00:15:34.033
And then don't fear the outcome you can hate to lose.
00:15:35.232 --> 00:15:36.972
You just don't have to be afraid of it.
00:15:37.416 --> 00:15:42.245
Just get to the end of the day, win the decision, go to the next decision, win that decision.
00:15:42.456 --> 00:15:44.765
And I didn't say like, it's gotta be the right outcome.
00:15:44.765 --> 00:15:45.605
I'm just just saying.
00:15:46.221 --> 00:15:47.630
You, you had the choice.
00:15:47.630 --> 00:15:48.620
You could back down.
00:15:48.620 --> 00:15:50.691
You had the choice where you could negotiate.
00:15:50.900 --> 00:16:01.581
You had the choice where all of a sudden your, your past is starting to creep in there and, and bang away in your mind, and you could have feared the outcome, yet you push forward anyway.
00:16:01.921 --> 00:16:07.860
You laid it on the line, you made the effort, self-satisfaction and knowing you did your best.
00:16:08.311 --> 00:16:12.990
Sometimes some of the information you don't get until after you take the risk.
00:16:12.990 --> 00:16:18.480
You take the risk, it blows up in your face, and then you're like, oh, had no idea.
00:16:18.875 --> 00:16:18.905
Okay.
00:16:19.956 --> 00:16:22.115
I am gonna share something with you later on.
00:16:22.326 --> 00:16:30.515
Uh, once this, once the full story comes about, then I'm gonna come back around and tell you about all these assumptions that I made and blew right up.
00:16:30.515 --> 00:16:36.725
I thought I had it going on, and then, so it's coming just probably in a few months.
00:16:37.235 --> 00:16:38.466
I gotta play this thing out.
00:16:38.645 --> 00:16:43.475
Gotta I, I gotta reposition and then I gotta go at it again.
00:16:43.956 --> 00:16:44.255
Okay.
00:16:44.676 --> 00:16:46.625
I'm living this just like you are.
00:16:47.240 --> 00:16:59.750
Okay, I'm going through this just like you are, but I just refuse man to sit here and not have a peace of mind to be unsettled.
00:17:00.500 --> 00:17:08.570
And so I think this episode is just like a good check back for you where you can say, bro, why?
00:17:08.631 --> 00:17:10.040
Why are you uneasy right now?
00:17:10.040 --> 00:17:12.931
Why are you escaping to vices?
00:17:13.451 --> 00:17:15.250
Why are you eating so much?
00:17:15.250 --> 00:17:16.931
Why are you drinking so much?
00:17:16.931 --> 00:17:19.340
Why are you getting like cathartic?
00:17:19.611 --> 00:17:20.451
Why are you edgy?
00:17:20.510 --> 00:17:22.161
Why are you pissed off at everybody?
00:17:23.901 --> 00:17:25.941
It's the disruptors of peace of mind.
00:17:27.141 --> 00:17:31.310
It's your past, it's your positioning, and it's your phobias.
00:17:32.060 --> 00:17:38.300
All of those are disruptors and you have complete control over that.
00:17:38.601 --> 00:17:38.871
Okay?
00:17:38.871 --> 00:17:43.221
I can't control the outcome, but I can control my peace of mind.
00:17:44.181 --> 00:17:45.050
That's all that matters.
00:17:45.875 --> 00:17:46.296
All right.
00:17:46.596 --> 00:17:47.736
With that, let's get outta here.
00:17:47.736 --> 00:17:48.336
Keep it simple.
00:17:48.336 --> 00:17:48.905
Keep it moving.
00:17:48.905 --> 00:17:49.415
Never settle.
00:17:49.415 --> 00:17:49.925
Stay tough.
00:17:49.925 --> 00:17:50.286
Peace.
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.254
This morning I got to thinking about.
00:00:03.584 --> 00:00:04.605
Success.
00:00:05.474 --> 00:00:07.333
Like what is success?
00:00:07.934 --> 00:00:25.303
And when I was thinking about it, I realized, you know, maybe I'm looking at it in the wrong way because most of the time you tie success to a result, right?
00:00:25.754 --> 00:00:27.344
Like, did it work?
00:00:27.794 --> 00:00:30.943
Did I win, did I get what I wanted?
00:00:31.949 --> 00:00:38.340
And if the result didn't show up the way that I hoped, well then I wasn't successful.
00:00:39.659 --> 00:00:47.609
And that's false because success isn't a result.
00:00:49.439 --> 00:00:52.109
Success is peace of mind.
00:00:53.549 --> 00:00:55.049
It's that inner peace.
00:00:56.119 --> 00:01:09.140
A lot of times we don't have that peace of mind, and I believe there are three disruptors to having success when you equate it to your peace of mind.
00:01:10.280 --> 00:01:17.606
And they all start with the letter P, the past, your position, and your phobias.
00:01:18.777 --> 00:01:24.753
So when you tie success to a specific outcome, you give up control.
00:01:26.162 --> 00:01:29.433
You're hoping for, I need this to validate who I am.
00:01:30.093 --> 00:01:31.623
But when you tie success.
00:01:32.972 --> 00:01:35.072
And this is, this has just challenged me.
00:01:35.612 --> 00:01:47.647
When I tie success to peace of mind, it becomes, I don't know, in a strange way, liberating, and it becomes controllable.
00:01:49.173 --> 00:01:54.212
Like literally, you can control your success.
00:01:55.212 --> 00:02:09.376
I can't control the outcome, but I can control my inner state my peace of mind, and that's where success really lives.
00:02:10.022 --> 00:02:16.502
So let me unpack the three disruptors to your success.
00:02:17.522 --> 00:02:19.052
Success is in peace of mind.
00:02:20.013 --> 00:02:27.212
Again, the past, your positioning, which is in the present, and then your phobias, your fears.
00:02:27.423 --> 00:02:29.462
So let's talk about the first one, the past.
00:02:30.872 --> 00:02:38.312
The past is the first thing that steals your peace because you know yourself better than anyone.
00:02:38.943 --> 00:02:40.263
You know your failures.
00:02:40.712 --> 00:02:42.122
You know your shortcomings.
00:02:42.122 --> 00:02:46.592
You know all the times that you've blown it, the should, could've, would've.
00:02:47.492 --> 00:02:51.929
And when you end up carrying that forward, it weighs you down.
00:02:52.782 --> 00:02:57.223
The losses don't just stay in the past, they bleed into your present.
00:02:58.228 --> 00:03:00.867
They affect how you end up showing up today.
00:03:01.437 --> 00:03:06.777
They affect your confidence and they affect how you position yourself.
00:03:07.198 --> 00:03:08.337
And that's the second piece.
00:03:08.337 --> 00:03:09.957
See, these are all linked together.
00:03:10.587 --> 00:03:16.858
Again, your past, your positioning, which is your present, and then your phobias.
00:03:17.848 --> 00:03:25.312
So that past is linked to your present, which affects your positioning.
00:03:26.707 --> 00:03:28.027
You gotta understand something, man.
00:03:28.027 --> 00:03:32.617
You're either working yourself into a position or working yourself out of one.
00:03:33.907 --> 00:03:34.987
No two ways about it.
00:03:35.467 --> 00:03:42.578
And so when you link your present to your past, it ends up amplifying the damage.
00:03:43.207 --> 00:03:48.578
It becomes easier to play yourself out of a position without even realizing it.
00:03:48.578 --> 00:03:51.337
It's like, it's really like a form of self-sabotage.
00:03:52.837 --> 00:03:54.608
This is why you gotta do hard things.
00:03:55.823 --> 00:03:56.723
Hard things.
00:03:56.782 --> 00:03:57.893
Nobody likes doing them.
00:03:58.372 --> 00:04:06.263
They're uncomfortable, but they're reminders that you can do hard things.
00:04:06.682 --> 00:04:22.281
This may be the hardest it's ever been, but it's not the hardest it'll ever be, and so doing hard things, Carter rises the past and works yourself into a better position, but it takes time.
00:04:23.862 --> 00:04:31.572
You didn't work yourself out of a position overnight, and you're not gonna work yourself into a position in an instant.
00:04:31.992 --> 00:04:32.831
It takes time.
00:04:33.192 --> 00:04:36.101
Time is a wonderful storyteller.
00:04:36.601 --> 00:04:42.781
So the simple question to ask yourself every day, did I put myself in a better position today?
00:04:43.622 --> 00:04:44.132
That's it.
00:04:45.091 --> 00:04:47.101
And truthfully, you're the only one.
00:04:47.161 --> 00:04:48.151
You can rationalize it.
00:04:48.151 --> 00:04:49.622
You can tell it, you can.
00:04:49.622 --> 00:04:51.331
You can explain it all the way to me.
00:04:51.572 --> 00:04:54.271
Deep down inside, you know what the real answer is.
00:04:54.752 --> 00:05:01.574
See, when you don't work yourself into the best possible position that day, you end up pulling back.
00:05:02.264 --> 00:05:09.495
You end up getting these little, it's death by a thousand cuts, these little thin slices to your confidence.
00:05:11.134 --> 00:05:14.555
And that feeds into the third point, which is your phobias.
00:05:15.305 --> 00:05:16.175
That's your fears.
00:05:17.464 --> 00:05:23.165
The past affects your position, and your position affects your confidence.
00:05:23.375 --> 00:05:26.495
The absence of confidence is the presence of fear.
00:05:27.117 --> 00:05:27.718
And what do you fear?
00:05:28.692 --> 00:05:29.983
You what if yourself to death?
00:05:30.132 --> 00:05:37.783
You fear the outcome, you fear the rejection, and you fear what happens after you fail.
00:05:38.562 --> 00:05:42.012
And that's a lot of times like once I get told no, like I don't know what I'm gonna do.
00:05:42.012 --> 00:05:43.692
So we self-sabotage ourselves.
00:05:43.963 --> 00:05:50.533
We tell ourselves no and assume a no instead of being brave enough to hear a no.
00:05:50.593 --> 00:05:52.153
That's part of doing hard things too.
00:05:52.333 --> 00:05:53.382
It builds that courage.
00:05:54.432 --> 00:05:55.093
And so.
00:05:55.677 --> 00:06:09.492
When you, when you have these phobias, these fear of rejection, fear of the outcome, you hesitate, you negotiate with yourself, and you what if yourself to death.
00:06:10.492 --> 00:06:24.399
And then when you get the result, you use that result, you wear that result as an identity, failing is a process, not an identity.
00:06:25.449 --> 00:06:26.680
You don't wear the failure.
00:06:26.680 --> 00:06:29.589
It's not a, it's not who you are, it's where you are.
00:06:31.089 --> 00:06:38.529
So when you have that result, you analyze, you adjust, you learn from it, and then you move forward.
00:06:39.079 --> 00:06:41.629
You can't tie success to a specific result.
00:06:42.680 --> 00:06:49.100
Because you can do everything statistically right, and it still come out wrong.
00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:52.579
I mean, you had it by the, by the numbers.
00:06:52.579 --> 00:06:53.839
You painted by the numbers.
00:06:53.839 --> 00:06:57.439
You did everything you were supposed to do, and it still doesn't come out right.
00:06:57.649 --> 00:07:04.134
You can do everything right and still get it wrong, yet you can do everything wrong and somehow still get it right.
00:07:04.923 --> 00:07:07.473
So why are you so worried about the outcome?
00:07:07.473 --> 00:07:18.632
I know it's easier said than done, but this is the part where you just gotta, you gotta zoom out sometimes and really challenge what success looks like to you and what success really is.
00:07:19.632 --> 00:07:22.807
Look if results were the only measure of success.
00:07:23.807 --> 00:07:32.387
No one will be successful if you think about anybody that you admire, anybody that you've emulate.
00:07:32.387 --> 00:07:40.038
The reason why they're a success now is because they failed more than they succeeded, yet they still kept going.
00:07:40.608 --> 00:07:41.447
They didn't tie it to their past.
00:07:43.317 --> 00:07:48.358
They're constantly working themselves into a better position, and they didn't fear the outcome.
00:07:48.567 --> 00:07:52.077
They just learned from it and they kept going because you know what?
00:07:52.408 --> 00:07:53.517
They can't all say no.
00:07:53.937 --> 00:07:55.108
That's how you gotta look at it.
00:07:56.108 --> 00:07:59.588
Peace of mind doesn't come from the result.
00:08:00.548 --> 00:08:07.033
It comes from knowing that you gave a hundred percent effort in the moment.
00:08:07.762 --> 00:08:28.447
That's, it sounds so cliche to say, but it's so true, and this is the part when you give a hundred percent effort, okay, it may not have had the right, the expected result that you wanted, but it compounds because you keep learning, you keep iterating, you keep evolving.
00:08:29.168 --> 00:08:30.608
I love what Coach Wooden said.
00:08:30.937 --> 00:08:34.207
Coach John Wooden said, success is, I did a whole podcast on this.
00:08:34.567 --> 00:08:48.337
Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self satisfaction in knowing that you made the effort to do your best, to become the best that you're capable of becoming.
00:08:48.758 --> 00:08:51.248
Bro, just put that on a Post-it note.
00:08:51.518 --> 00:08:52.508
Lemme read it to you again.
00:08:52.807 --> 00:08:54.577
Success is peace of mind.
00:08:55.988 --> 00:09:01.957
There it is again, which is a direct result of self satisfaction.
00:09:02.138 --> 00:09:07.508
It's probably the only time to be satisfied that self satisfaction knowing I know that.
00:09:07.508 --> 00:09:08.077
I know that.
00:09:08.077 --> 00:09:11.168
I know that you made the effort.
00:09:11.738 --> 00:09:14.738
See, he didn't say gave the effort because you can.
00:09:14.857 --> 00:09:17.677
Half ass gave, but you made the effort.
00:09:17.677 --> 00:09:20.197
When you make something, it's a finished product.
00:09:20.197 --> 00:09:21.403
When you made here, I made this.
00:09:22.192 --> 00:09:23.633
That's, that's the result.
00:09:23.903 --> 00:09:36.712
Okay, so I made the effort, may not have been perfect, made a, may not have resulted in the outcome I wanted, but I made it so I have that self-satisfaction.
00:09:37.432 --> 00:09:39.832
It's a peace of mind, direct result.
00:09:40.538 --> 00:09:46.118
The direct link, self-satisfaction and knowing I made the effort to do your best.
00:09:46.148 --> 00:09:48.368
It was your best in the moment, it's not the best.
00:09:48.668 --> 00:09:52.687
It's not the best it'll ever be, but it's not the worst it's ever been either.
00:09:53.048 --> 00:09:59.707
So it's the best in the moment to become, become as important because it is a shaping.
00:09:59.707 --> 00:10:07.597
It is fluid, it is alignment to become the best that you're capable of becoming.
00:10:08.918 --> 00:10:11.077
That is no comparison to anybody else.
00:10:11.857 --> 00:10:19.057
I don't care who did it quicker, faster, longer, better than you, younger than you, who cares.
00:10:19.148 --> 00:10:20.557
Everybody's incline is different.
00:10:20.918 --> 00:10:22.388
Everybody's track is different.
00:10:22.658 --> 00:10:26.798
Some people can start off in a blaze and blow themselves up.
00:10:27.038 --> 00:10:32.258
Some people can take forever to get started and skyrocket to the top.
00:10:32.707 --> 00:10:33.638
You don't know.
00:10:34.988 --> 00:10:35.952
So why worry about them?
00:10:37.373 --> 00:10:39.113
Just focus on you a hundred percent effort.
00:10:40.113 --> 00:10:44.883
See, when you tie something to a goal, I mean, what do we always say?
00:10:45.003 --> 00:10:48.692
I mean, you, you, you, you do the goal, you set the goal.
00:10:49.712 --> 00:10:52.982
I just did a episode on fine about being fine.
00:10:53.523 --> 00:10:55.413
That means go back and listen to it.
00:10:56.013 --> 00:10:57.993
That means like, I'm fine.
00:10:58.383 --> 00:11:00.572
Means that you define what fine looks like.
00:11:00.572 --> 00:11:03.513
Man, if I could only get to this, okay man, my life will be fine.
00:11:03.513 --> 00:11:03.993
Boom.
00:11:04.202 --> 00:11:06.842
Then you gotta redefine it.
00:11:06.903 --> 00:11:07.952
You gotta level up.
00:11:08.403 --> 00:11:13.682
So that's why I'm saying like that doesn't equate to a success.
00:11:13.893 --> 00:11:14.822
That's just a goal.
00:11:14.822 --> 00:11:16.202
And goals are fleeting.
00:11:16.802 --> 00:11:19.258
Goals come and go, goes ebb and flow.
00:11:21.482 --> 00:11:23.673
So why tie yourself to a goal?
00:11:24.003 --> 00:11:26.613
It's important, but don't tie.
00:11:28.352 --> 00:11:31.562
Your identity to a goal.
00:11:32.972 --> 00:11:35.013
You strive to have that peace of mind.
00:11:35.493 --> 00:11:38.373
You push yourself hard, you do hard things.
00:11:38.972 --> 00:11:40.413
You learn from the past.
00:11:40.682 --> 00:11:46.783
You're constantly working yourself into a position, and I have no fear of the outcome.
00:11:47.293 --> 00:11:49.393
Whatever it is, it's gonna be what it is.
00:11:49.873 --> 00:11:53.773
I don't control the result, but I can heavily influence it.
00:11:54.163 --> 00:12:07.028
Based on what I do, based on learning from the past, not leaching off of it, learning from it and working myself in a better position.
00:12:07.057 --> 00:12:07.927
Okay, I get it.
00:12:08.168 --> 00:12:08.857
I got it.
00:12:09.488 --> 00:12:10.357
Understand.
00:12:11.288 --> 00:12:12.607
Lemme reanalyze that.
00:12:12.788 --> 00:12:13.957
How did that happen?
00:12:14.408 --> 00:12:15.128
What did I do?
00:12:15.128 --> 00:12:16.898
What were all the events that come to that?
00:12:16.898 --> 00:12:21.908
See that's positioning, and then I go again, let's go.
00:12:22.908 --> 00:12:38.298
And as I got to thinking about this with peace of mind, the reason why, like you and I, sometimes we can't sleep and we can't shut off because we just like unsettled.
00:12:40.232 --> 00:12:53.793
It's because we're tying it to a result and normally we're tying it to a result and it's linked back to our past.
00:12:54.003 --> 00:12:54.842
So we validate.
00:12:54.842 --> 00:12:57.482
I knew, I mean, I'm always losing never happens for me.
00:12:57.513 --> 00:13:01.562
I can, I can't, you know, if I couldn't buy a win, if I want, tie it to our past.
00:13:03.738 --> 00:13:06.288
We worked ourselves out of a position.
00:13:06.528 --> 00:13:07.457
So that's ownership.
00:13:07.457 --> 00:13:08.388
That takes agency.
00:13:08.388 --> 00:13:19.337
When you say, okay, that peace of mind, even though you're not in the right position, if you know where you need to start positioning yourself over time.
00:13:19.457 --> 00:13:20.597
Remember the game we're playing.
00:13:20.597 --> 00:13:25.937
Remember the timeline we're on eventually, and ultimately, eventually things are gonna turn in your favor.
00:13:25.937 --> 00:13:27.618
Ultimately, you will succeed.
00:13:28.788 --> 00:13:29.298
Okay?
00:13:29.388 --> 00:13:30.423
Gotta have that peace of mind.
00:13:31.423 --> 00:13:32.802
But we're not settled.
00:13:33.342 --> 00:13:37.663
We don't have the peace of mind because of the past, because of the positioning.
00:13:38.023 --> 00:13:39.913
And then we fear the the outcome.
00:13:39.913 --> 00:13:41.113
Like, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
00:13:41.322 --> 00:13:45.613
Look, you're proof right now that you have survived.
00:13:46.363 --> 00:13:47.232
All the hell.
00:13:47.232 --> 00:13:52.363
I mean when all the chips were down, when you're like, if this don't happen, man, I'm going under and here you are today.
00:13:52.692 --> 00:13:58.982
Lo and behold, some of the best moments in my life came from repositioning after the worst moments of my life.
00:14:00.663 --> 00:14:07.383
I couldn't, it was too, it was too painful to continue to hold that past, and I just had to reinvent myself.
00:14:08.613 --> 00:14:09.812
I had to just start over.
00:14:10.352 --> 00:14:10.743
Okay.
00:14:11.432 --> 00:14:27.212
And I had to put myself in a better position, which my positioning every day is reading every day from a random book writing, unpacking my thoughts, really giving it some thought, sharing it, and then living it.
00:14:27.543 --> 00:14:28.863
That's the challenge today.
00:14:29.493 --> 00:14:29.883
Okay.
00:14:29.972 --> 00:14:40.592
I, I want peace of mind Some days, man, I'm, I'm just like you some days, man, it's just like, I, I feel like I'm just getting older and, and getting softer, and I'm like, oh, man.
00:14:42.182 --> 00:14:46.413
Is your unsettled mind linked to your current position?
00:14:46.743 --> 00:14:49.113
You can rework yourself into a better position.
00:14:49.758 --> 00:14:54.317
Not immediately, but over time, or is it linked to a phobia?
00:14:54.618 --> 00:15:01.097
You fear the rejection, you fear the result, so you don't confront what's it tied to.
00:15:02.097 --> 00:15:03.418
That's the only thing that matters Today.
00:15:04.288 --> 00:15:07.798
The only thing that matters is did you give a hundred percent effort in the moment?
00:15:08.128 --> 00:15:10.258
I know it sounds cliche, but that's it.
00:15:11.187 --> 00:15:16.258
And the only way you can give a hundred percent effort if you really think about this is.
00:15:17.263 --> 00:15:21.192
Not letting your past dictate what you're gonna do next.
00:15:22.062 --> 00:15:22.452
Okay?
00:15:22.903 --> 00:15:24.643
Other than the lessons that I learned.
00:15:24.643 --> 00:15:29.383
Carry the lessons over, not the losses, and then reposition yourself.
00:15:29.682 --> 00:15:34.033
And then don't fear the outcome you can hate to lose.
00:15:35.232 --> 00:15:36.972
You just don't have to be afraid of it.
00:15:37.416 --> 00:15:42.245
Just get to the end of the day, win the decision, go to the next decision, win that decision.
00:15:42.456 --> 00:15:44.765
And I didn't say like, it's gotta be the right outcome.
00:15:44.765 --> 00:15:45.605
I'm just just saying.
00:15:46.221 --> 00:15:47.630
You, you had the choice.
00:15:47.630 --> 00:15:48.620
You could back down.
00:15:48.620 --> 00:15:50.691
You had the choice where you could negotiate.
00:15:50.900 --> 00:16:01.581
You had the choice where all of a sudden your, your past is starting to creep in there and, and bang away in your mind, and you could have feared the outcome, yet you push forward anyway.
00:16:01.921 --> 00:16:07.860
You laid it on the line, you made the effort, self-satisfaction and knowing you did your best.
00:16:08.311 --> 00:16:12.990
Sometimes some of the information you don't get until after you take the risk.
00:16:12.990 --> 00:16:18.480
You take the risk, it blows up in your face, and then you're like, oh, had no idea.
00:16:18.875 --> 00:16:18.905
Okay.
00:16:19.956 --> 00:16:22.115
I am gonna share something with you later on.
00:16:22.326 --> 00:16:30.515
Uh, once this, once the full story comes about, then I'm gonna come back around and tell you about all these assumptions that I made and blew right up.
00:16:30.515 --> 00:16:36.725
I thought I had it going on, and then, so it's coming just probably in a few months.
00:16:37.235 --> 00:16:38.466
I gotta play this thing out.
00:16:38.645 --> 00:16:43.475
Gotta I, I gotta reposition and then I gotta go at it again.
00:16:43.956 --> 00:16:44.255
Okay.
00:16:44.676 --> 00:16:46.625
I'm living this just like you are.
00:16:47.240 --> 00:16:59.750
Okay, I'm going through this just like you are, but I just refuse man to sit here and not have a peace of mind to be unsettled.
00:17:00.500 --> 00:17:08.570
And so I think this episode is just like a good check back for you where you can say, bro, why?
00:17:08.631 --> 00:17:10.040
Why are you uneasy right now?
00:17:10.040 --> 00:17:12.931
Why are you escaping to vices?
00:17:13.451 --> 00:17:15.250
Why are you eating so much?
00:17:15.250 --> 00:17:16.931
Why are you drinking so much?
00:17:16.931 --> 00:17:19.340
Why are you getting like cathartic?
00:17:19.611 --> 00:17:20.451
Why are you edgy?
00:17:20.510 --> 00:17:22.161
Why are you pissed off at everybody?
00:17:23.901 --> 00:17:25.941
It's the disruptors of peace of mind.
00:17:27.141 --> 00:17:31.310
It's your past, it's your positioning, and it's your phobias.
00:17:32.060 --> 00:17:38.300
All of those are disruptors and you have complete control over that.
00:17:38.601 --> 00:17:38.871
Okay?
00:17:38.871 --> 00:17:43.221
I can't control the outcome, but I can control my peace of mind.
00:17:44.181 --> 00:17:45.050
That's all that matters.
00:17:45.875 --> 00:17:46.296
All right.
00:17:46.596 --> 00:17:47.736
With that, let's get outta here.
00:17:47.736 --> 00:17:48.336
Keep it simple.
00:17:48.336 --> 00:17:48.905
Keep it moving.
00:17:48.905 --> 00:17:49.415
Never settle.
00:17:49.415 --> 00:17:49.925
Stay tough.
00:17:49.925 --> 00:17:50.286
Peace.