July 6, 2025
933. What You Tolerate Is What You Become.
Send us a text We talk a lot about habits, but what we don’t talk about enough is tolerance—what you let slide, what you justify, what you slowly start accepting. In this episode, I explore the asymmetry of tolerance—how we unconsciously expand our tolerance for destructive behaviors, while simultaneously shrinking our tolerance for the discomfort that accompanies growth and success. You're going to learn how to spot your tolerance leaks—those small, seemingly harmless decisions that eventual...
We talk a lot about habits, but what we don’t talk about enough is tolerance—what you let slide, what you justify, what you slowly start accepting. In this episode, I explore the asymmetry of tolerance—how we unconsciously expand our tolerance for destructive behaviors, while simultaneously shrinking our tolerance for the discomfort that accompanies growth and success.
You're going to learn how to spot your tolerance leaks—those small, seemingly harmless decisions that eventually cost you your fitness, your focus, your finances, your relationships, and even your identity.
We’ll break it into two parts:
- How to tighten destructive tolerance by setting hard limits and increasing your awareness.
- How to train successful tolerance—raising your threshold for resistance, rejection, and effort—so you can stretch your identity and win in the long run.
This isn’t about being perfect—it’s about raising your standard and shrinking the gap between who you are and who you’re meant to be.
Let’s get it!
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Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough.
WEBVTT
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All right.
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3, 2, 1. Let's get it.
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Welcome back to the show.
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I'm your host, MARSH BUICE and today I wanna talk about your tolerances and specifically how your tolerance can lead to success.
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Our tolerance can lead to your demise because it's a funny thing, man.
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When it comes to tolerance.
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There's an asymmetry to it, and asymmetry means it, it's, it's not equal.
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So we're quick to expand our tolerance for destructive behavior, and we do it through these micro justifications.
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I mean, bro, if you think about it, you could justify anything.
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You can rationalize it all, all the way and, and a, a quick thing, man, like if, if you, if you catch yourself.
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I trying to explain things and like you're overexplaining, that's a dead giveaway, that you are increasing your tolerance for something that's probably not gonna serve you well.
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In other words, if you did this, repeated this every single day for the next six months, am I gonna land on a 10 or am I gonna land on a negative 100?
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I mean, that's the thing that you gotta look at.
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So if you, if you find yourself starting to rationalize and overexplain things.
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That could be something for you to be aware of and say, eh, I may be increasing my tolerance for destructive measures.
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So that's, that's tolerance on the destructive side.
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But when it comes to growth or success, we're quick to shrink our tolerance.
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That's the first thing that we do.
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I mean, we want the results.
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But we don't wanna put forth the effort, the sweat equity.
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We do this so subtly, man.
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And that's the thing that I wanna bring to your awareness, the tolerance.
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It's these tolerance leaks is what I like to call it.
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And so you, you, you build in these, these subtle tolerances through your comfort zone.
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And even though you know you should be doing more.
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You just kind of put it off.
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You procrastinate, you rationalize, you explain it.
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And so I wanna bring this to your awareness so that way you can spot your tolerance, leaks, but on one side and quickly identify that and be like, yeah, this, this is a leak man.
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I need the, I need to plug the hole.
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And what's good is, is you can plug the hole instantly.
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Like it's just a slight course correction is all it is.
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But then also I wanna bring into your awareness too, on how you can increase your tolerance in productive ways as well.
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So that way you don't get comfortable and you're willing to embrace the uncertainty and handle the adversity as well.
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So let's talk about the bad first, the destructive tolerance.
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Because one thing you have to remember, you get what you accept.
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Whatever you accept in your life, everything that you, where you are right now.
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Is because you accepted that it is, and you made these thin slices of, of exceptions along the way, and this is why your money may be funny.
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It's why your relationships may not be where they need to be.
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It's why you, you just kind of stuck it on your job.
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This is why your your, your weight's starting to creep up.
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It's the tolerances.
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So let me give you five ways, that you're unconsciously.
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Increasing your tolerance for the wrong thing.
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Number one, just this once.
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Just this once isn't a moment, it's a mindset.
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And it's kinda like skipping class man.
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It's a whole lot easier after the first time, right?
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So you do it once and it just becomes a little bit easier.
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So whether it be that you're skipping a workout.
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That you're binge watching, that you're staying up late, late night junk food.
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You, you think it's okay just this once, but just this once.
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It's, it's the door opener.
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It's the thing that opens up for opportunities, but not in the right way.
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Number two, micro slips how you do the smalls is how you do the alls.
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It's not one decision, man.
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It's, it's a bunch of small ones.
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Think of a snowflake.
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That becomes a snowball, that becomes an avalanche.
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That's what happens in your life.
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An avalanche is just a whole bunch.
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Of snowflakes that stuck together and said, yay, let's go down this hill and and destroy everything.
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That's, that's what a snowflake is.
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And a lot of times, man, we make these snowflake decisions.
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And these little small things, you're like, ah, it's no big deal.
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Everything counts.
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Everything matters.
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And I'm not saying, bro, you gotta walk through life at an a plus, but you can do better than where you are right now.
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And it's just being able to see these little micro slips that you're making along the way.
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And dude, some of the micro slips, or just like as soon as you do it, you're like, why not even do that?
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I mean, you didn't have to.
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You could have changed the environment, done something different.
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And then that way the tolerance doesn't build up in the in the negative way.
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Number three, comfort seeking your brain whispers to you.
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Sweet.
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Nothings the first thing.
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Your mind, when you don't want to do something, your mind is gonna whisper to you and just, just say, look man, just double up.
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You get to it tomorrow.
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Nobody's watching.
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It's all good.
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And this is where we have the double up moments.
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And the double up moments are where we just, we add extra work on top of.
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But what happens is it's not yesterday's work.
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You, you, you, you keep adding to it.
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And because you got away with it, which is the fourth one, uh, the no consequence loop.
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So because you got away with it.
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Then it's just like, and it just builds up, builds up, builds up until finally the down breaks.
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So let's talk about the no consequence loop.
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That's number four.
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You got away with it.
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Time can be your greatest enemy or your, or your greatest ally.
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It can.
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And so thank God things don't happen in an instant.
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Now when it comes to success, we want an instant.
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When it comes to something bad destructive, we don't want it in an instant.
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Well, you can't have it both ways.
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And so again, everything counts.
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And so thank God you don't bite into a whopper and you drop dead.
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Okay?
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Your body gives you these tolerances, this margin for error.
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It gives you those things.
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But also it's the exceptions that you make.
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And because you got away, here's the elusive thing, you got away with it and you're like, oh.
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And what happens is, I don't know what it is, dude.
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It's just human nature I guess.
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And so we got away with it.
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So then we like, can I get away with it?
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And a little bit more the next day and a little bit more.
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And what happens is the baseline continuously moves.
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And then the last one is the comparison trap.
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Is another way that you build tolerance in a destructive way, so you're better than the person back here.
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It's kinda like the skinny girl who hangs out with a bunch of fat people to make themselves look better, right?
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Or the real pretty girl hangs out with ugly people because when they go out, they look like a, a superstar, or you hang out with friends that are more broke than you.
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But the problem with that is, you hang out with f. People, the best you're gonna get is a D plus life.
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That's it.
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And so you have to have that awareness and that how are you comparing yourself?
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And I say comparison sometimes, man.
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It's just subtly like who you just gravitate around.
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Do you gravitate?
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Toward people that are just, they're, they're just not on a good trajectory.
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It's not that we can't be all up and comers, I'm not saying that at all.
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It's not that you're better than anyone else, but are you better for you?
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That's the thing.
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And are they doing better for them?
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And if we're doing that together, even if they're a mile or two behind me, that's cool.
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As long as they're, they're trying to do better, bro, I'm with you.
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But if you just keep.
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Regurgitating and going back to your own vomit in destructive ways.
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I, I, I can't be with you like that.
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Alright, so that's the, that's destructive tolerances.
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The, the, the five that I just outlined to you.
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Was it five?
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Yeah, the five that I just outlined to you.
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Where do you spot yourself in those?
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Could be a couple of them.
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Could be one of them.
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But the good news is, is bringing, bringing an awareness.
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Now you're aware, now you're awake.
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You're like, ah, okay, I get it.
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Life is super sneaky, man.
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It is.
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And so we do things and it just kind of, things just sneak up on us.
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But they don't have to if we stay aware.
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Alright, so let me give you some different ways.
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To stay aware.
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Number one is a daily awareness practice.
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Now, I'm not big on a whole bunch of rituals and all that kind of different shit, but I would tell you this, like there are five areas, core pillars in your life.
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They all start with the letter F to make it easy.
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Okay?
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So it's fa, it's faith, family, fitness, finances, fulfillment.
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So on a scale from one to five.
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Grade yourself every day in each one of those five categories.
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So five being the best, one being not so good how did you practice your faith today?
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Did you stretch your faith?
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Did you build more knowledge about your faith?
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Did you step outside of your comfort zone and Learn things?
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stretch your faith a little bit?
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Okay, family.
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Were you more preoccupied on social media than you were with your family on finances?
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Did you spend extra vowing to double up?
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Oh, I'll pay it off next month.
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And you don't even know how you're gonna pay it off, like you're barely making ends meet.
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Now it's bullshit tolerance.
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So just look at yourself and then at the end of the week, tally 'em up.
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And so if you get a 28 or higher.
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Then, okay, that's 80%.
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It's passing.
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It's not that you have a plus all the time that you get, you know, five in each category, seven days a week, that's a 35.
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I don't expect you to have a 35 in every category, but a majority, like you're doing better.
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It's just bringing an awareness to it.
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You don't have to be an A plus.
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You don't have to be perfect, but you just have to do better.
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Another way to increase your tolerances, set hard limits.
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Some minimum standards, minimums of excellence, I say.
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And so build in your consistent, you gotta be average to be great.
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Build in your averages first.
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Okay?
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What can you, what is the minimums you can commit to?
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Again, consistency over intensity.
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The intensity's gonna naturally raise anyway, so.
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What are some bare minimums?
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I know, given my circumstance right now and how I feel, I will work out three days a week.
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That's what you're gonna say.
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So you build a rule based on that three days a week.
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It could be Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and I'm off for the rest of the week.
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I don't care.
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Do it however you want to.
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I don't care what all the science, bro science says.
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I don't care about none of that.
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First do it for you.
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Okay, so your minimum standards, write one page every single day.
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I bang the drum on this.
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I'm telling you, it'll empty your mind.
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Clarify your thoughts.
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Write one page.
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You do this as a daily practice.
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I very rarely ever write one page a day, but I tell myself one page a day, that's all I gotta do.
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Because initially that resistance is saying, eh, I don't have anything to write like today, man, I have nothing to write about.
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I set my timer for 15 minutes and I doodled and I wrote, I just, I just did things.
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I didn't feel like it, and it really didn't come out to anything, but it triggered, I wrote one word tolerance.
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I. And, you know, some other words, but that was the, the word that really stood out.
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I went to the gym to work out.
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On my way home, I started thinking more and more about tolerance and why this is how this came about.
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Why do we have tolerance for destructive things?
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We're always trying to move the, the needle on that for destructive measures and justifying it.
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And then, but when it comes to success, we don't, we're just like, oh no, I don't wanna do all that.
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This is how this came about, that write one page every single day.
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So setting a rule like that drinks, when you go out for drinks, know yourself, man.
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So when you go out for drinks, just a couple of drinks after that, it gets wild and wooly.
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All right?
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So that's what it is.
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Another way to tighten your tolerance.
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If something lights the fuse, don't do it.
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Know yourself.
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Know yourself.
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So if something lights the fuse, don't do it.
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Your baseline is easier to keep than it is to rebuild.
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Always remember that.
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That's good, isn't it?
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Your baseline is easier to keep than to rebuild.
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So if you're tired of quitting, stop starting over.
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It's the same sort of thing.
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People say, going back to the basics.
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It's 'cause you just, you just tolerated too much in a destructive way.
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Now you gotta, so you know, you, you never have to, you never have to start again.
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If you just keep.
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Keep building on it, right?
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And it's these small measures every single day and just having an awareness about it, man.
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And then the last thing is another way to tighten your tolerance.
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This is really good.
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Use social media, leverage it as an accountability partner.
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Some of you may have an accountability partner, okay?
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I don't, so my thing would be my accountability partner is my Instagram stories.
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And so wake up at a set time, write every single day, read something random every single day.
00:14:12.168 --> 00:14:16.158
Share something of value, which is what this is, and then design my day.
00:14:16.158 --> 00:14:17.089
I know what I'm gonna wear.
00:14:17.089 --> 00:14:18.229
I know what I'm gonna eat that day.
00:14:18.678 --> 00:14:18.948
Okay?
00:14:19.308 --> 00:14:22.609
And so that's, that's just my checkpoints that I do every single day.
00:14:22.698 --> 00:14:25.369
And so I use social media in that way.
00:14:25.938 --> 00:14:28.548
And you may wanna consider doing this too.
00:14:28.818 --> 00:14:30.918
It's not about showing to the world.
00:14:31.504 --> 00:14:33.484
You know, look at me, look at me.
00:14:33.484 --> 00:14:41.313
No, it's basically using, leveraging social media in a way that, 'cause people are watching you, people are seeing if you're gonna show up, right?
00:14:41.403 --> 00:14:50.104
And so when you do that and you put that out there, this increases your consistency and like social media becomes that digital mirror for you.
00:14:50.823 --> 00:14:51.303
All right?
00:14:51.394 --> 00:14:54.634
So that's on the destructive side of tolerance.
00:14:55.354 --> 00:15:00.573
Now let's talk about successful tolerance and how you can actually raise the bar.
00:15:00.813 --> 00:15:02.193
So think of it like this.
00:15:03.063 --> 00:15:04.474
Destructive tolerance.
00:15:04.683 --> 00:15:11.524
You should set rules, productive tolerance, successful tolerance, however you wanna look at it.
00:15:12.649 --> 00:15:14.369
You should, make it a challenge.
00:15:14.548 --> 00:15:19.948
So set rules on the destructive side, make it a challenge on the productive side.
00:15:20.048 --> 00:15:21.548
You have to train for tolerance.
00:15:21.548 --> 00:15:25.869
If you're gonna grow, if you're gonna do anything exceptional, you have to train for tolerance.
00:15:26.139 --> 00:15:26.889
That means.
00:15:26.903 --> 00:15:29.453
Yeah, there's gonna be the ever presents resistance.
00:15:29.484 --> 00:15:30.744
Resistance will never go away.
00:15:30.744 --> 00:15:34.764
I don't care how much your life is liquid gold, I don't care.
00:15:34.764 --> 00:15:36.203
You're always gonna have resistance.
00:15:36.234 --> 00:15:37.433
It's never gonna go away.
00:15:37.703 --> 00:15:38.754
So just embrace it.
00:15:38.964 --> 00:15:39.833
Know it's gonna be there.
00:15:40.163 --> 00:15:42.594
So there's gonna be all kinds of re resistance.
00:15:42.803 --> 00:15:47.063
There's gonna be the discomfort, there's gonna be boredom, there's gonna be rejection.
00:15:47.214 --> 00:15:48.744
There's all kind of different ways.
00:15:48.744 --> 00:15:50.423
Adversity, uncertainty, and complacency.
00:15:50.604 --> 00:15:51.833
There's all those things.
00:15:52.464 --> 00:15:53.933
So start training for it.
00:15:54.754 --> 00:15:59.043
And the real test of it is when life's not really loading the bar for you.
00:15:59.043 --> 00:16:02.974
When things aren't really, nothing's really bad happening, it's just kind of.
00:16:04.144 --> 00:16:05.224
Everything's good.
00:16:05.524 --> 00:16:06.543
Move around long.
00:16:07.083 --> 00:16:08.193
Watch your tolerances.
00:16:08.193 --> 00:16:12.124
This is where you should watch because you lose that awareness.
00:16:12.183 --> 00:16:15.693
You kind of doze off and you get complacent.
00:16:15.844 --> 00:16:18.654
And then the destructive tolerance starts creeping in.
00:16:18.654 --> 00:16:28.105
You start making these micro justifications, explaining things, doubling up, laying up a little bit, sleeping in a little later, eating a little bit more.
00:16:28.825 --> 00:16:30.839
It's the smalls, and then they all add up.
00:16:31.419 --> 00:16:31.639
So.
00:16:32.379 --> 00:16:37.869
Let's look at some, some ways that you can train for tolerance in a successful way.
00:16:37.899 --> 00:16:39.849
Number one, micro, micro challenges.
00:16:41.198 --> 00:16:43.899
So this, this is your base hits over home runs, man.
00:16:43.899 --> 00:16:46.058
You're not swinging for the fence or anything like that.
00:16:46.448 --> 00:16:51.879
The, the, the challenges are just these micro doses, man, just take these small risks.
00:16:52.119 --> 00:16:53.379
So wherever you have that.
00:16:53.859 --> 00:16:59.769
Procrastination, that hesitation, that second guessing whatever, uh, do it tomorrow.
00:16:59.769 --> 00:17:00.219
I'll double it.
00:17:01.029 --> 00:17:01.869
Do it right then and there.
00:17:01.928 --> 00:17:03.969
Here's a rule that I, that I put in.
00:17:04.419 --> 00:17:06.699
If it takes less than five minutes, go ahead and do it.
00:17:07.419 --> 00:17:07.868
It does.
00:17:08.019 --> 00:17:08.588
Or what?
00:17:08.588 --> 00:17:12.848
How much time, if you had to do this right now, how much time would you wanna, man, I got like 10 minutes.
00:17:12.969 --> 00:17:18.189
Set your timer for 10 minutes and then when the timer goes off, if you're not done, you have permission to walk away from it.
00:17:18.759 --> 00:17:21.669
But a lot of times what happens, this is one of those little mine hacks.
00:17:22.433 --> 00:17:27.683
A lot of times what happens is, is you do it, you get to that 10 minute mark and you're like, bro, I'm almost done.
00:17:27.683 --> 00:17:28.493
Lemme go ahead and knock it out.
00:17:28.493 --> 00:17:29.124
And then you're done.
00:17:29.124 --> 00:17:30.144
Then you, you're free up.
00:17:30.384 --> 00:17:33.144
A lot of the stress that you have is just procrastination.
00:17:33.744 --> 00:17:34.494
That's what it is.
00:17:34.673 --> 00:17:36.354
It's, it is things that you keep.
00:17:36.594 --> 00:17:40.943
It's these regrets that lay up these daily regrets and these little things.
00:17:40.943 --> 00:17:42.354
There's things you should be doing.
00:17:42.624 --> 00:17:44.423
Folding the clothes, knock it out, man.
00:17:44.544 --> 00:17:45.084
Knock it out.
00:17:45.806 --> 00:17:51.385
Other micro challenges would be like going for no, like how many nos can you, you know, whatever.
00:17:51.625 --> 00:17:53.365
I'd rather hear a no than assume a no.
00:17:53.576 --> 00:18:01.796
So instead of assuming you're gonna get rejected, go out there and go, go hear a no good, notch it up.
00:18:02.395 --> 00:18:05.965
What happens is a lot of times you go for, no, you'll find the yeses.
00:18:06.266 --> 00:18:07.105
You definitely will.
00:18:07.721 --> 00:18:13.601
Andrea Waltz wrote a whole book, go for, no, I would tell you to get that book even if you're not in sales.
00:18:13.871 --> 00:18:14.590
Get the book.
00:18:14.740 --> 00:18:16.840
It's an excellent book and it's too tiny.
00:18:17.320 --> 00:18:19.510
So it's all these little micro challenges.
00:18:19.691 --> 00:18:22.510
Walk into a room that you're uncomfortable with.
00:18:22.721 --> 00:18:24.911
Strike up a conversation with somebody on the elevator.
00:18:24.911 --> 00:18:26.770
Dude, I gotta constantly push myself.
00:18:27.070 --> 00:18:28.901
I act like an extrovert on camera.
00:18:28.901 --> 00:18:30.310
I'm not okay.
00:18:30.310 --> 00:18:30.701
I am not.
00:18:30.701 --> 00:18:32.711
I just push myself to, to do these things.
00:18:34.030 --> 00:18:34.330
Number two.
00:18:34.752 --> 00:18:36.823
How to build your success tolerance.
00:18:37.452 --> 00:18:41.952
Build some capacity at failing failing's a process.
00:18:42.643 --> 00:18:46.212
Failure is an identity, it's a label.
00:18:47.022 --> 00:18:53.292
And the only way that you become a failure that you become the label is if you just stop trying.
00:18:54.432 --> 00:18:56.623
So every L that you take, man.
00:18:57.163 --> 00:19:01.903
It just, it sharpens your skills and it expands your identity.
00:19:02.083 --> 00:19:04.782
What you're doing is you're writing a new narrative.
00:19:04.782 --> 00:19:14.173
So when you do tougher things, things that you don't really feel like doing, like, let me tell you this, anything you don't feel like doing is probably a good thing for you.
00:19:14.623 --> 00:19:18.403
It's probably something that is really beneficial for your life.
00:19:19.363 --> 00:19:20.113
I mean, think about that.
00:19:20.113 --> 00:19:32.742
So if you don't feel like doing it, it's probably a good thing because how many justifications, you know, it's not like we, oh man, I really don't feel like drinking this beer and smashing this seafood.
00:19:32.742 --> 00:19:32.893
Pla.
00:19:32.923 --> 00:19:35.772
Like, no, we're just like, we'll cave it that quick.
00:19:36.103 --> 00:19:45.282
But if it's like going to work out for 30 minutes, we're like, oh, it's, I mean, it's beneficial making these block of phone call.
00:19:45.613 --> 00:19:46.452
Oh.
00:19:47.623 --> 00:19:48.613
It's beneficial.
00:19:48.673 --> 00:19:49.363
Do it, man.
00:19:50.623 --> 00:19:54.883
So anyway, build this capacity for failing a little bit more.
00:19:54.972 --> 00:20:03.103
Every time, man, you do things outside of your comfort zone, you're, you're building a capacity, you're building a tolerance to be able to handle more.
00:20:03.103 --> 00:20:04.542
Nobody likes rejection.
00:20:05.053 --> 00:20:09.127
Nobody likes like, especially working out all the damn time.
00:20:09.748 --> 00:20:11.127
Nobody likes getting up early.
00:20:11.278 --> 00:20:13.167
Nobody likes reading, writing.
00:20:13.682 --> 00:20:18.238
I, I, I learned to love it, but initially, like, dude, I hit the resistance every single time.
00:20:18.238 --> 00:20:23.367
So it's facing that resistance, embracing it, knowing that bitch was gonna be there.
00:20:23.367 --> 00:20:25.903
I. And you, and you do it anyway.
00:20:26.053 --> 00:20:28.603
You just do the things and this is where you stretch.
00:20:28.843 --> 00:20:32.113
This is how you get outside and keep building that, that tolerance.
00:20:32.623 --> 00:20:35.653
Number three, bust a sweat every single day.
00:20:35.682 --> 00:20:39.613
And I'm saying this physically, but I'm also saying this mentally as well.
00:20:39.613 --> 00:20:42.282
Physically, we all know that you're getting out older.
00:20:42.432 --> 00:20:44.053
This is the youngest you're ever gonna be.
00:20:44.292 --> 00:20:46.512
Train for life, man.
00:20:46.542 --> 00:20:49.542
You don't wanna be the guy with a tennis ball and walker.
00:20:50.127 --> 00:20:55.137
You don't want, you don't wanna be the guy that walks around with a walker and tennis balls on the back.
00:20:55.167 --> 00:21:02.248
You don't wanna be the guy that wears coveralls, the one zip coveralls and no underwear underneath and talking about what you used to do.
00:21:02.817 --> 00:21:04.917
So you don't wanna be that guy.
00:21:05.218 --> 00:21:07.647
So get some physical bust of sweat, man.
00:21:07.647 --> 00:21:08.307
Just a little bit.
00:21:08.307 --> 00:21:11.458
You don't have to, we don't have to be Ed honored.
00:21:12.417 --> 00:21:14.218
You don't have to be Mr. Olympia man.
00:21:14.593 --> 00:21:16.903
But you gotta, you gotta stretch yourself a little bit.
00:21:17.083 --> 00:21:19.212
Get that stiffness, work that rust out.
00:21:19.692 --> 00:21:21.012
Now bust a sweat.
00:21:21.012 --> 00:21:24.222
Also, is a mental sweat the thing that you don't feel like doing.
00:21:24.222 --> 00:21:27.103
Again, walking into uncomfortable situations.
00:21:27.522 --> 00:21:32.623
Asking something directly, asking someone to buy, asking someone to do something.
00:21:32.923 --> 00:21:40.992
Ask, you know, saying what your, what's your expectations for some like, man, have these conversations, the confrontation piece, but in a productive way, man.
00:21:40.992 --> 00:21:43.123
Do those things and you're gonna build that capacity.
00:21:43.123 --> 00:21:46.212
I. Number four, reframe the narrative.
00:21:46.692 --> 00:21:47.053
Okay?
00:21:47.292 --> 00:21:59.246
You gotta remember, man, like when you fade away from adversity or uncertainty, are you, are you, you comply with complacency, you're building that narrative.
00:21:59.726 --> 00:22:00.536
It's what you're doing.
00:22:00.925 --> 00:22:02.875
And if you wanna rewrite that narrative.
00:22:03.955 --> 00:22:06.175
Then you have to push yourself outside.
00:22:06.685 --> 00:22:09.746
And then when you do that, man, you're rewriting that narrative.
00:22:09.746 --> 00:22:11.066
You're doing things outside.
00:22:11.096 --> 00:22:13.435
And dude, again, I'm just talking about small things.
00:22:13.615 --> 00:22:16.556
It's the small things that build these little micro doses up.
00:22:16.736 --> 00:22:22.316
So when hard things hit, you have something to fall back on and remind yourself that, look, I've done some hardship before.
00:22:22.316 --> 00:22:24.685
Okay, but you gotta, you can't just like.
00:22:25.240 --> 00:22:26.891
Sit in a chair all day long.
00:22:26.891 --> 00:22:30.250
We atrophy in life when we're not pushing ourselves, and that's what we do.
00:22:30.250 --> 00:22:38.381
We just, we sit in these metaphorical chairs and we're just like, well, it's, it's, I mean, when time comes, I mean, we'll just deal with it there.
00:22:38.411 --> 00:22:42.340
No, you deal with it every day by just building in your tolerances.
00:22:42.461 --> 00:22:45.161
Again, it's the thing you don't want do yet.
00:22:45.161 --> 00:22:46.871
It leads to something productive.
00:22:47.050 --> 00:22:47.921
Go ahead and do it.
00:22:48.296 --> 00:22:49.796
The last one create a new identity.
00:22:49.796 --> 00:22:55.526
Well, I guess I just talked about identity, so, but I didn't really talk about reframe, so let me swap number four and five out.
00:22:56.006 --> 00:22:56.365
Okay.
00:22:56.576 --> 00:22:59.036
Reframing the power of reframing.
00:22:59.036 --> 00:23:14.605
I did a whole podcast episode on this, have no idea which number it is, but the power of reframing means that you take something and instead of going off the rails talking about woe is me, you reframe it and you find your do wells like what did you do well in this situation?
00:23:14.786 --> 00:23:16.375
How did you handle yourself?
00:23:16.435 --> 00:23:17.486
Draw on the good.
00:23:18.746 --> 00:23:30.445
Un understand, analyze, learn from the, the not so good, the bad, and then you reframe it and roll on, man, you're just, again, you're just building the capacity and you're rewriting the narrative itself.
00:23:31.796 --> 00:23:34.405
So here's my challenge for you today, okay.
00:23:34.766 --> 00:23:39.925
What are some things that you're tolerating but shouldn't be?
00:23:40.796 --> 00:23:46.195
And what are some things that you should be tolerating more, but you're not?
00:23:47.365 --> 00:23:56.409
In other words, what do you need to do less of and what do you need to do more of the answer's in your next move.
00:23:56.979 --> 00:23:58.388
All right, let's get outta here.
00:23:58.388 --> 00:23:59.169
Keep it simple.
00:23:59.229 --> 00:23:59.979
Keep it moving.
00:23:59.979 --> 00:24:00.729
Never settle.
00:24:00.729 --> 00:24:01.388
Stay tough.
00:24:01.388 --> 00:24:01.778
Peace.
00:00:00.810 --> 00:00:01.050
All right.
00:00:01.050 --> 00:00:02.160
3, 2, 1. Let's get it.
00:00:02.160 --> 00:00:03.600
Welcome back to the show.
00:00:04.019 --> 00:00:13.839
I'm your host, MARSH BUICE and today I wanna talk about your tolerances and specifically how your tolerance can lead to success.
00:00:14.259 --> 00:00:19.629
Our tolerance can lead to your demise because it's a funny thing, man.
00:00:19.629 --> 00:00:21.100
When it comes to tolerance.
00:00:21.908 --> 00:00:27.548
There's an asymmetry to it, and asymmetry means it, it's, it's not equal.
00:00:28.449 --> 00:00:37.359
So we're quick to expand our tolerance for destructive behavior, and we do it through these micro justifications.
00:00:37.719 --> 00:00:40.569
I mean, bro, if you think about it, you could justify anything.
00:00:40.868 --> 00:00:48.668
You can rationalize it all, all the way and, and a, a quick thing, man, like if, if you, if you catch yourself.
00:00:49.134 --> 00:01:02.304
I trying to explain things and like you're overexplaining, that's a dead giveaway, that you are increasing your tolerance for something that's probably not gonna serve you well.
00:01:02.304 --> 00:01:11.605
In other words, if you did this, repeated this every single day for the next six months, am I gonna land on a 10 or am I gonna land on a negative 100?
00:01:11.814 --> 00:01:13.314
I mean, that's the thing that you gotta look at.
00:01:13.314 --> 00:01:19.075
So if you, if you find yourself starting to rationalize and overexplain things.
00:01:19.795 --> 00:01:29.334
That could be something for you to be aware of and say, eh, I may be increasing my tolerance for destructive measures.
00:01:29.858 --> 00:01:33.578
So that's, that's tolerance on the destructive side.
00:01:34.268 --> 00:01:40.237
But when it comes to growth or success, we're quick to shrink our tolerance.
00:01:40.507 --> 00:01:41.617
That's the first thing that we do.
00:01:43.117 --> 00:01:44.947
I mean, we want the results.
00:01:45.697 --> 00:01:49.897
But we don't wanna put forth the effort, the sweat equity.
00:01:50.347 --> 00:01:53.168
We do this so subtly, man.
00:01:53.227 --> 00:01:56.558
And that's the thing that I wanna bring to your awareness, the tolerance.
00:01:56.737 --> 00:01:59.287
It's these tolerance leaks is what I like to call it.
00:01:59.798 --> 00:02:06.787
And so you, you, you build in these, these subtle tolerances through your comfort zone.
00:02:08.048 --> 00:02:11.407
And even though you know you should be doing more.
00:02:12.893 --> 00:02:14.842
You just kind of put it off.
00:02:15.143 --> 00:02:18.802
You procrastinate, you rationalize, you explain it.
00:02:19.312 --> 00:02:33.052
And so I wanna bring this to your awareness so that way you can spot your tolerance, leaks, but on one side and quickly identify that and be like, yeah, this, this is a leak man.
00:02:33.052 --> 00:02:34.372
I need the, I need to plug the hole.
00:02:34.432 --> 00:02:36.983
And what's good is, is you can plug the hole instantly.
00:02:37.312 --> 00:02:40.073
Like it's just a slight course correction is all it is.
00:02:40.492 --> 00:02:49.193
But then also I wanna bring into your awareness too, on how you can increase your tolerance in productive ways as well.
00:02:49.193 --> 00:02:56.902
So that way you don't get comfortable and you're willing to embrace the uncertainty and handle the adversity as well.
00:02:57.173 --> 00:03:00.323
So let's talk about the bad first, the destructive tolerance.
00:03:00.473 --> 00:03:04.252
Because one thing you have to remember, you get what you accept.
00:03:04.612 --> 00:03:09.112
Whatever you accept in your life, everything that you, where you are right now.
00:03:09.937 --> 00:03:19.448
Is because you accepted that it is, and you made these thin slices of, of exceptions along the way, and this is why your money may be funny.
00:03:19.598 --> 00:03:22.358
It's why your relationships may not be where they need to be.
00:03:22.538 --> 00:03:25.418
It's why you, you just kind of stuck it on your job.
00:03:25.717 --> 00:03:28.717
This is why your your, your weight's starting to creep up.
00:03:29.557 --> 00:03:30.608
It's the tolerances.
00:03:30.758 --> 00:03:33.907
So let me give you five ways, that you're unconsciously.
00:03:34.298 --> 00:03:37.837
Increasing your tolerance for the wrong thing.
00:03:38.467 --> 00:03:40.207
Number one, just this once.
00:03:42.427 --> 00:03:46.298
Just this once isn't a moment, it's a mindset.
00:03:46.927 --> 00:03:48.608
And it's kinda like skipping class man.
00:03:48.608 --> 00:03:50.858
It's a whole lot easier after the first time, right?
00:03:51.008 --> 00:03:54.937
So you do it once and it just becomes a little bit easier.
00:03:55.177 --> 00:03:57.877
So whether it be that you're skipping a workout.
00:03:58.973 --> 00:04:05.002
That you're binge watching, that you're staying up late, late night junk food.
00:04:06.497 --> 00:04:11.212
You, you think it's okay just this once, but just this once.
00:04:11.272 --> 00:04:12.742
It's, it's the door opener.
00:04:13.013 --> 00:04:19.283
It's the thing that opens up for opportunities, but not in the right way.
00:04:19.733 --> 00:04:24.692
Number two, micro slips how you do the smalls is how you do the alls.
00:04:24.903 --> 00:04:26.733
It's not one decision, man.
00:04:27.812 --> 00:04:29.762
It's, it's a bunch of small ones.
00:04:30.223 --> 00:04:31.483
Think of a snowflake.
00:04:31.752 --> 00:04:34.752
That becomes a snowball, that becomes an avalanche.
00:04:35.142 --> 00:04:36.463
That's what happens in your life.
00:04:36.497 --> 00:04:39.223
An avalanche is just a whole bunch.
00:04:39.612 --> 00:04:45.642
Of snowflakes that stuck together and said, yay, let's go down this hill and and destroy everything.
00:04:45.762 --> 00:04:47.353
That's, that's what a snowflake is.
00:04:47.413 --> 00:04:50.713
And a lot of times, man, we make these snowflake decisions.
00:04:50.983 --> 00:04:54.163
And these little small things, you're like, ah, it's no big deal.
00:04:54.163 --> 00:04:55.093
Everything counts.
00:04:55.333 --> 00:04:56.293
Everything matters.
00:04:56.413 --> 00:05:02.862
And I'm not saying, bro, you gotta walk through life at an a plus, but you can do better than where you are right now.
00:05:03.043 --> 00:05:08.052
And it's just being able to see these little micro slips that you're making along the way.
00:05:08.142 --> 00:05:14.593
And dude, some of the micro slips, or just like as soon as you do it, you're like, why not even do that?
00:05:14.773 --> 00:05:16.423
I mean, you didn't have to.
00:05:16.423 --> 00:05:19.603
You could have changed the environment, done something different.
00:05:20.173 --> 00:05:24.673
And then that way the tolerance doesn't build up in the in the negative way.
00:05:24.882 --> 00:05:29.802
Number three, comfort seeking your brain whispers to you.
00:05:30.012 --> 00:05:30.463
Sweet.
00:05:30.463 --> 00:05:32.293
Nothings the first thing.
00:05:32.293 --> 00:05:40.603
Your mind, when you don't want to do something, your mind is gonna whisper to you and just, just say, look man, just double up.
00:05:41.067 --> 00:05:42.447
You get to it tomorrow.
00:05:42.658 --> 00:05:43.887
Nobody's watching.
00:05:44.067 --> 00:05:45.298
It's all good.
00:05:45.567 --> 00:05:47.697
And this is where we have the double up moments.
00:05:47.757 --> 00:05:53.517
And the double up moments are where we just, we add extra work on top of.
00:05:53.517 --> 00:05:55.827
But what happens is it's not yesterday's work.
00:05:57.057 --> 00:05:59.458
You, you, you, you keep adding to it.
00:05:59.848 --> 00:06:05.067
And because you got away with it, which is the fourth one, uh, the no consequence loop.
00:06:05.338 --> 00:06:07.017
So because you got away with it.
00:06:07.752 --> 00:06:13.093
Then it's just like, and it just builds up, builds up, builds up until finally the down breaks.
00:06:13.959 --> 00:06:15.879
So let's talk about the no consequence loop.
00:06:15.879 --> 00:06:16.779
That's number four.
00:06:17.949 --> 00:06:18.908
You got away with it.
00:06:19.149 --> 00:06:23.168
Time can be your greatest enemy or your, or your greatest ally.
00:06:23.319 --> 00:06:23.949
It can.
00:06:24.278 --> 00:06:29.499
And so thank God things don't happen in an instant.
00:06:30.293 --> 00:06:32.634
Now when it comes to success, we want an instant.
00:06:32.903 --> 00:06:37.824
When it comes to something bad destructive, we don't want it in an instant.
00:06:37.884 --> 00:06:39.324
Well, you can't have it both ways.
00:06:39.863 --> 00:06:41.663
And so again, everything counts.
00:06:42.024 --> 00:06:45.684
And so thank God you don't bite into a whopper and you drop dead.
00:06:46.283 --> 00:06:46.704
Okay?
00:06:46.913 --> 00:06:50.423
Your body gives you these tolerances, this margin for error.
00:06:50.423 --> 00:06:51.803
It gives you those things.
00:06:52.584 --> 00:06:56.153
But also it's the exceptions that you make.
00:06:56.184 --> 00:07:01.134
And because you got away, here's the elusive thing, you got away with it and you're like, oh.
00:07:01.194 --> 00:07:03.533
And what happens is, I don't know what it is, dude.
00:07:03.533 --> 00:07:04.913
It's just human nature I guess.
00:07:05.004 --> 00:07:06.744
And so we got away with it.
00:07:06.954 --> 00:07:09.954
So then we like, can I get away with it?
00:07:10.014 --> 00:07:12.684
And a little bit more the next day and a little bit more.
00:07:12.684 --> 00:07:15.293
And what happens is the baseline continuously moves.
00:07:16.463 --> 00:07:18.504
And then the last one is the comparison trap.
00:07:19.103 --> 00:07:27.024
Is another way that you build tolerance in a destructive way, so you're better than the person back here.
00:07:27.619 --> 00:07:32.658
It's kinda like the skinny girl who hangs out with a bunch of fat people to make themselves look better, right?
00:07:32.838 --> 00:07:45.559
Or the real pretty girl hangs out with ugly people because when they go out, they look like a, a superstar, or you hang out with friends that are more broke than you.
00:07:46.129 --> 00:07:54.939
But the problem with that is, you hang out with f. People, the best you're gonna get is a D plus life.
00:07:55.238 --> 00:07:55.959
That's it.
00:07:56.228 --> 00:08:01.088
And so you have to have that awareness and that how are you comparing yourself?
00:08:01.269 --> 00:08:03.309
And I say comparison sometimes, man.
00:08:03.309 --> 00:08:06.218
It's just subtly like who you just gravitate around.
00:08:06.548 --> 00:08:07.598
Do you gravitate?
00:08:08.244 --> 00:08:12.113
Toward people that are just, they're, they're just not on a good trajectory.
00:08:12.353 --> 00:08:16.103
It's not that we can't be all up and comers, I'm not saying that at all.
00:08:16.163 --> 00:08:19.704
It's not that you're better than anyone else, but are you better for you?
00:08:20.004 --> 00:08:20.754
That's the thing.
00:08:21.053 --> 00:08:23.004
And are they doing better for them?
00:08:23.124 --> 00:08:28.644
And if we're doing that together, even if they're a mile or two behind me, that's cool.
00:08:28.793 --> 00:08:31.764
As long as they're, they're trying to do better, bro, I'm with you.
00:08:31.764 --> 00:08:33.024
But if you just keep.
00:08:33.573 --> 00:08:37.833
Regurgitating and going back to your own vomit in destructive ways.
00:08:38.139 --> 00:08:39.844
I, I, I can't be with you like that.
00:08:40.264 --> 00:08:44.524
Alright, so that's the, that's destructive tolerances.
00:08:44.764 --> 00:08:47.283
The, the, the five that I just outlined to you.
00:08:47.374 --> 00:08:48.004
Was it five?
00:08:48.333 --> 00:08:50.104
Yeah, the five that I just outlined to you.
00:08:51.624 --> 00:08:53.274
Where do you spot yourself in those?
00:08:53.453 --> 00:08:54.443
Could be a couple of them.
00:08:54.594 --> 00:08:55.434
Could be one of them.
00:08:55.793 --> 00:08:58.553
But the good news is, is bringing, bringing an awareness.
00:08:58.553 --> 00:09:00.173
Now you're aware, now you're awake.
00:09:00.173 --> 00:09:01.913
You're like, ah, okay, I get it.
00:09:02.124 --> 00:09:03.774
Life is super sneaky, man.
00:09:03.984 --> 00:09:04.614
It is.
00:09:04.673 --> 00:09:08.453
And so we do things and it just kind of, things just sneak up on us.
00:09:08.634 --> 00:09:10.974
But they don't have to if we stay aware.
00:09:11.244 --> 00:09:13.344
Alright, so let me give you some different ways.
00:09:13.578 --> 00:09:14.958
To stay aware.
00:09:15.349 --> 00:09:17.899
Number one is a daily awareness practice.
00:09:18.139 --> 00:09:27.109
Now, I'm not big on a whole bunch of rituals and all that kind of different shit, but I would tell you this, like there are five areas, core pillars in your life.
00:09:27.198 --> 00:09:29.629
They all start with the letter F to make it easy.
00:09:30.109 --> 00:09:30.559
Okay?
00:09:30.678 --> 00:09:35.389
So it's fa, it's faith, family, fitness, finances, fulfillment.
00:09:35.809 --> 00:09:38.059
So on a scale from one to five.
00:09:38.394 --> 00:09:42.114
Grade yourself every day in each one of those five categories.
00:09:42.533 --> 00:09:48.563
So five being the best, one being not so good how did you practice your faith today?
00:09:50.244 --> 00:09:51.443
Did you stretch your faith?
00:09:51.894 --> 00:09:53.933
Did you build more knowledge about your faith?
00:09:53.984 --> 00:09:57.073
Did you step outside of your comfort zone and Learn things?
00:09:57.073 --> 00:09:58.244
stretch your faith a little bit?
00:09:58.663 --> 00:09:59.714
Okay, family.
00:10:00.839 --> 00:10:05.908
Were you more preoccupied on social media than you were with your family on finances?
00:10:06.479 --> 00:10:10.408
Did you spend extra vowing to double up?
00:10:10.918 --> 00:10:12.568
Oh, I'll pay it off next month.
00:10:12.629 --> 00:10:15.269
And you don't even know how you're gonna pay it off, like you're barely making ends meet.
00:10:15.269 --> 00:10:17.698
Now it's bullshit tolerance.
00:10:17.969 --> 00:10:22.139
So just look at yourself and then at the end of the week, tally 'em up.
00:10:22.558 --> 00:10:25.019
And so if you get a 28 or higher.
00:10:25.813 --> 00:10:27.494
Then, okay, that's 80%.
00:10:27.494 --> 00:10:28.124
It's passing.
00:10:28.303 --> 00:10:34.693
It's not that you have a plus all the time that you get, you know, five in each category, seven days a week, that's a 35.
00:10:35.114 --> 00:10:40.663
I don't expect you to have a 35 in every category, but a majority, like you're doing better.
00:10:40.663 --> 00:10:42.344
It's just bringing an awareness to it.
00:10:42.553 --> 00:10:44.744
You don't have to be an A plus.
00:10:45.283 --> 00:10:48.673
You don't have to be perfect, but you just have to do better.
00:10:50.384 --> 00:10:54.553
Another way to increase your tolerances, set hard limits.
00:10:55.499 --> 00:10:59.399
Some minimum standards, minimums of excellence, I say.
00:10:59.818 --> 00:11:04.078
And so build in your consistent, you gotta be average to be great.
00:11:04.438 --> 00:11:05.969
Build in your averages first.
00:11:06.328 --> 00:11:06.658
Okay?
00:11:06.839 --> 00:11:09.658
What can you, what is the minimums you can commit to?
00:11:10.048 --> 00:11:12.089
Again, consistency over intensity.
00:11:12.089 --> 00:11:15.359
The intensity's gonna naturally raise anyway, so.
00:11:16.484 --> 00:11:17.833
What are some bare minimums?
00:11:17.894 --> 00:11:23.173
I know, given my circumstance right now and how I feel, I will work out three days a week.
00:11:23.443 --> 00:11:24.283
That's what you're gonna say.
00:11:24.433 --> 00:11:27.673
So you build a rule based on that three days a week.
00:11:27.884 --> 00:11:31.094
It could be Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and I'm off for the rest of the week.
00:11:31.153 --> 00:11:31.933
I don't care.
00:11:32.144 --> 00:11:33.224
Do it however you want to.
00:11:33.344 --> 00:11:35.474
I don't care what all the science, bro science says.
00:11:35.683 --> 00:11:36.673
I don't care about none of that.
00:11:36.943 --> 00:11:38.384
First do it for you.
00:11:38.969 --> 00:11:43.198
Okay, so your minimum standards, write one page every single day.
00:11:43.198 --> 00:11:44.698
I bang the drum on this.
00:11:44.698 --> 00:11:46.619
I'm telling you, it'll empty your mind.
00:11:46.619 --> 00:11:47.759
Clarify your thoughts.
00:11:48.028 --> 00:11:48.928
Write one page.
00:11:48.928 --> 00:11:50.369
You do this as a daily practice.
00:11:50.698 --> 00:11:57.058
I very rarely ever write one page a day, but I tell myself one page a day, that's all I gotta do.
00:11:57.089 --> 00:12:03.989
Because initially that resistance is saying, eh, I don't have anything to write like today, man, I have nothing to write about.
00:12:04.724 --> 00:12:10.364
I set my timer for 15 minutes and I doodled and I wrote, I just, I just did things.
00:12:10.364 --> 00:12:16.813
I didn't feel like it, and it really didn't come out to anything, but it triggered, I wrote one word tolerance.
00:12:16.813 --> 00:12:20.548
I. And, you know, some other words, but that was the, the word that really stood out.
00:12:20.788 --> 00:12:22.198
I went to the gym to work out.
00:12:22.198 --> 00:12:27.958
On my way home, I started thinking more and more about tolerance and why this is how this came about.
00:12:28.499 --> 00:12:31.769
Why do we have tolerance for destructive things?
00:12:31.769 --> 00:12:37.198
We're always trying to move the, the needle on that for destructive measures and justifying it.
00:12:37.499 --> 00:12:41.908
And then, but when it comes to success, we don't, we're just like, oh no, I don't wanna do all that.
00:12:42.899 --> 00:12:46.019
This is how this came about, that write one page every single day.
00:12:47.203 --> 00:12:52.604
So setting a rule like that drinks, when you go out for drinks, know yourself, man.
00:12:53.474 --> 00:12:57.764
So when you go out for drinks, just a couple of drinks after that, it gets wild and wooly.
00:12:58.423 --> 00:12:58.903
All right?
00:12:59.354 --> 00:13:00.344
So that's what it is.
00:13:00.614 --> 00:13:01.933
Another way to tighten your tolerance.
00:13:02.908 --> 00:13:04.769
If something lights the fuse, don't do it.
00:13:04.769 --> 00:13:05.399
Know yourself.
00:13:06.359 --> 00:13:07.019
Know yourself.
00:13:07.619 --> 00:13:10.198
So if something lights the fuse, don't do it.
00:13:11.158 --> 00:13:15.269
Your baseline is easier to keep than it is to rebuild.
00:13:15.448 --> 00:13:16.379
Always remember that.
00:13:16.769 --> 00:13:17.548
That's good, isn't it?
00:13:17.818 --> 00:13:21.778
Your baseline is easier to keep than to rebuild.
00:13:23.759 --> 00:13:26.328
So if you're tired of quitting, stop starting over.
00:13:26.839 --> 00:13:28.129
It's the same sort of thing.
00:13:28.349 --> 00:13:30.109
People say, going back to the basics.
00:13:30.379 --> 00:13:33.769
It's 'cause you just, you just tolerated too much in a destructive way.
00:13:33.769 --> 00:13:38.538
Now you gotta, so you know, you, you never have to, you never have to start again.
00:13:38.538 --> 00:13:39.649
If you just keep.
00:13:40.053 --> 00:13:41.224
Keep building on it, right?
00:13:41.433 --> 00:13:45.604
And it's these small measures every single day and just having an awareness about it, man.
00:13:46.083 --> 00:13:49.234
And then the last thing is another way to tighten your tolerance.
00:13:49.384 --> 00:13:50.254
This is really good.
00:13:50.254 --> 00:13:53.764
Use social media, leverage it as an accountability partner.
00:13:53.943 --> 00:13:56.793
Some of you may have an accountability partner, okay?
00:13:57.124 --> 00:14:03.423
I don't, so my thing would be my accountability partner is my Instagram stories.
00:14:03.739 --> 00:14:10.788
And so wake up at a set time, write every single day, read something random every single day.
00:14:12.168 --> 00:14:16.158
Share something of value, which is what this is, and then design my day.
00:14:16.158 --> 00:14:17.089
I know what I'm gonna wear.
00:14:17.089 --> 00:14:18.229
I know what I'm gonna eat that day.
00:14:18.678 --> 00:14:18.948
Okay?
00:14:19.308 --> 00:14:22.609
And so that's, that's just my checkpoints that I do every single day.
00:14:22.698 --> 00:14:25.369
And so I use social media in that way.
00:14:25.938 --> 00:14:28.548
And you may wanna consider doing this too.
00:14:28.818 --> 00:14:30.918
It's not about showing to the world.
00:14:31.504 --> 00:14:33.484
You know, look at me, look at me.
00:14:33.484 --> 00:14:41.313
No, it's basically using, leveraging social media in a way that, 'cause people are watching you, people are seeing if you're gonna show up, right?
00:14:41.403 --> 00:14:50.104
And so when you do that and you put that out there, this increases your consistency and like social media becomes that digital mirror for you.
00:14:50.823 --> 00:14:51.303
All right?
00:14:51.394 --> 00:14:54.634
So that's on the destructive side of tolerance.
00:14:55.354 --> 00:15:00.573
Now let's talk about successful tolerance and how you can actually raise the bar.
00:15:00.813 --> 00:15:02.193
So think of it like this.
00:15:03.063 --> 00:15:04.474
Destructive tolerance.
00:15:04.683 --> 00:15:11.524
You should set rules, productive tolerance, successful tolerance, however you wanna look at it.
00:15:12.649 --> 00:15:14.369
You should, make it a challenge.
00:15:14.548 --> 00:15:19.948
So set rules on the destructive side, make it a challenge on the productive side.
00:15:20.048 --> 00:15:21.548
You have to train for tolerance.
00:15:21.548 --> 00:15:25.869
If you're gonna grow, if you're gonna do anything exceptional, you have to train for tolerance.
00:15:26.139 --> 00:15:26.889
That means.
00:15:26.903 --> 00:15:29.453
Yeah, there's gonna be the ever presents resistance.
00:15:29.484 --> 00:15:30.744
Resistance will never go away.
00:15:30.744 --> 00:15:34.764
I don't care how much your life is liquid gold, I don't care.
00:15:34.764 --> 00:15:36.203
You're always gonna have resistance.
00:15:36.234 --> 00:15:37.433
It's never gonna go away.
00:15:37.703 --> 00:15:38.754
So just embrace it.
00:15:38.964 --> 00:15:39.833
Know it's gonna be there.
00:15:40.163 --> 00:15:42.594
So there's gonna be all kinds of re resistance.
00:15:42.803 --> 00:15:47.063
There's gonna be the discomfort, there's gonna be boredom, there's gonna be rejection.
00:15:47.214 --> 00:15:48.744
There's all kind of different ways.
00:15:48.744 --> 00:15:50.423
Adversity, uncertainty, and complacency.
00:15:50.604 --> 00:15:51.833
There's all those things.
00:15:52.464 --> 00:15:53.933
So start training for it.
00:15:54.754 --> 00:15:59.043
And the real test of it is when life's not really loading the bar for you.
00:15:59.043 --> 00:16:02.974
When things aren't really, nothing's really bad happening, it's just kind of.
00:16:04.144 --> 00:16:05.224
Everything's good.
00:16:05.524 --> 00:16:06.543
Move around long.
00:16:07.083 --> 00:16:08.193
Watch your tolerances.
00:16:08.193 --> 00:16:12.124
This is where you should watch because you lose that awareness.
00:16:12.183 --> 00:16:15.693
You kind of doze off and you get complacent.
00:16:15.844 --> 00:16:18.654
And then the destructive tolerance starts creeping in.
00:16:18.654 --> 00:16:28.105
You start making these micro justifications, explaining things, doubling up, laying up a little bit, sleeping in a little later, eating a little bit more.
00:16:28.825 --> 00:16:30.839
It's the smalls, and then they all add up.
00:16:31.419 --> 00:16:31.639
So.
00:16:32.379 --> 00:16:37.869
Let's look at some, some ways that you can train for tolerance in a successful way.
00:16:37.899 --> 00:16:39.849
Number one, micro, micro challenges.
00:16:41.198 --> 00:16:43.899
So this, this is your base hits over home runs, man.
00:16:43.899 --> 00:16:46.058
You're not swinging for the fence or anything like that.
00:16:46.448 --> 00:16:51.879
The, the, the challenges are just these micro doses, man, just take these small risks.
00:16:52.119 --> 00:16:53.379
So wherever you have that.
00:16:53.859 --> 00:16:59.769
Procrastination, that hesitation, that second guessing whatever, uh, do it tomorrow.
00:16:59.769 --> 00:17:00.219
I'll double it.
00:17:01.029 --> 00:17:01.869
Do it right then and there.
00:17:01.928 --> 00:17:03.969
Here's a rule that I, that I put in.
00:17:04.419 --> 00:17:06.699
If it takes less than five minutes, go ahead and do it.
00:17:07.419 --> 00:17:07.868
It does.
00:17:08.019 --> 00:17:08.588
Or what?
00:17:08.588 --> 00:17:12.848
How much time, if you had to do this right now, how much time would you wanna, man, I got like 10 minutes.
00:17:12.969 --> 00:17:18.189
Set your timer for 10 minutes and then when the timer goes off, if you're not done, you have permission to walk away from it.
00:17:18.759 --> 00:17:21.669
But a lot of times what happens, this is one of those little mine hacks.
00:17:22.433 --> 00:17:27.683
A lot of times what happens is, is you do it, you get to that 10 minute mark and you're like, bro, I'm almost done.
00:17:27.683 --> 00:17:28.493
Lemme go ahead and knock it out.
00:17:28.493 --> 00:17:29.124
And then you're done.
00:17:29.124 --> 00:17:30.144
Then you, you're free up.
00:17:30.384 --> 00:17:33.144
A lot of the stress that you have is just procrastination.
00:17:33.744 --> 00:17:34.494
That's what it is.
00:17:34.673 --> 00:17:36.354
It's, it is things that you keep.
00:17:36.594 --> 00:17:40.943
It's these regrets that lay up these daily regrets and these little things.
00:17:40.943 --> 00:17:42.354
There's things you should be doing.
00:17:42.624 --> 00:17:44.423
Folding the clothes, knock it out, man.
00:17:44.544 --> 00:17:45.084
Knock it out.
00:17:45.806 --> 00:17:51.385
Other micro challenges would be like going for no, like how many nos can you, you know, whatever.
00:17:51.625 --> 00:17:53.365
I'd rather hear a no than assume a no.
00:17:53.576 --> 00:18:01.796
So instead of assuming you're gonna get rejected, go out there and go, go hear a no good, notch it up.
00:18:02.395 --> 00:18:05.965
What happens is a lot of times you go for, no, you'll find the yeses.
00:18:06.266 --> 00:18:07.105
You definitely will.
00:18:07.721 --> 00:18:13.601
Andrea Waltz wrote a whole book, go for, no, I would tell you to get that book even if you're not in sales.
00:18:13.871 --> 00:18:14.590
Get the book.
00:18:14.740 --> 00:18:16.840
It's an excellent book and it's too tiny.
00:18:17.320 --> 00:18:19.510
So it's all these little micro challenges.
00:18:19.691 --> 00:18:22.510
Walk into a room that you're uncomfortable with.
00:18:22.721 --> 00:18:24.911
Strike up a conversation with somebody on the elevator.
00:18:24.911 --> 00:18:26.770
Dude, I gotta constantly push myself.
00:18:27.070 --> 00:18:28.901
I act like an extrovert on camera.
00:18:28.901 --> 00:18:30.310
I'm not okay.
00:18:30.310 --> 00:18:30.701
I am not.
00:18:30.701 --> 00:18:32.711
I just push myself to, to do these things.
00:18:34.030 --> 00:18:34.330
Number two.
00:18:34.752 --> 00:18:36.823
How to build your success tolerance.
00:18:37.452 --> 00:18:41.952
Build some capacity at failing failing's a process.
00:18:42.643 --> 00:18:46.212
Failure is an identity, it's a label.
00:18:47.022 --> 00:18:53.292
And the only way that you become a failure that you become the label is if you just stop trying.
00:18:54.432 --> 00:18:56.623
So every L that you take, man.
00:18:57.163 --> 00:19:01.903
It just, it sharpens your skills and it expands your identity.
00:19:02.083 --> 00:19:04.782
What you're doing is you're writing a new narrative.
00:19:04.782 --> 00:19:14.173
So when you do tougher things, things that you don't really feel like doing, like, let me tell you this, anything you don't feel like doing is probably a good thing for you.
00:19:14.623 --> 00:19:18.403
It's probably something that is really beneficial for your life.
00:19:19.363 --> 00:19:20.113
I mean, think about that.
00:19:20.113 --> 00:19:32.742
So if you don't feel like doing it, it's probably a good thing because how many justifications, you know, it's not like we, oh man, I really don't feel like drinking this beer and smashing this seafood.
00:19:32.742 --> 00:19:32.893
Pla.
00:19:32.923 --> 00:19:35.772
Like, no, we're just like, we'll cave it that quick.
00:19:36.103 --> 00:19:45.282
But if it's like going to work out for 30 minutes, we're like, oh, it's, I mean, it's beneficial making these block of phone call.
00:19:45.613 --> 00:19:46.452
Oh.
00:19:47.623 --> 00:19:48.613
It's beneficial.
00:19:48.673 --> 00:19:49.363
Do it, man.
00:19:50.623 --> 00:19:54.883
So anyway, build this capacity for failing a little bit more.
00:19:54.972 --> 00:20:03.103
Every time, man, you do things outside of your comfort zone, you're, you're building a capacity, you're building a tolerance to be able to handle more.
00:20:03.103 --> 00:20:04.542
Nobody likes rejection.
00:20:05.053 --> 00:20:09.127
Nobody likes like, especially working out all the damn time.
00:20:09.748 --> 00:20:11.127
Nobody likes getting up early.
00:20:11.278 --> 00:20:13.167
Nobody likes reading, writing.
00:20:13.682 --> 00:20:18.238
I, I, I learned to love it, but initially, like, dude, I hit the resistance every single time.
00:20:18.238 --> 00:20:23.367
So it's facing that resistance, embracing it, knowing that bitch was gonna be there.
00:20:23.367 --> 00:20:25.903
I. And you, and you do it anyway.
00:20:26.053 --> 00:20:28.603
You just do the things and this is where you stretch.
00:20:28.843 --> 00:20:32.113
This is how you get outside and keep building that, that tolerance.
00:20:32.623 --> 00:20:35.653
Number three, bust a sweat every single day.
00:20:35.682 --> 00:20:39.613
And I'm saying this physically, but I'm also saying this mentally as well.
00:20:39.613 --> 00:20:42.282
Physically, we all know that you're getting out older.
00:20:42.432 --> 00:20:44.053
This is the youngest you're ever gonna be.
00:20:44.292 --> 00:20:46.512
Train for life, man.
00:20:46.542 --> 00:20:49.542
You don't wanna be the guy with a tennis ball and walker.
00:20:50.127 --> 00:20:55.137
You don't want, you don't wanna be the guy that walks around with a walker and tennis balls on the back.
00:20:55.167 --> 00:21:02.248
You don't wanna be the guy that wears coveralls, the one zip coveralls and no underwear underneath and talking about what you used to do.
00:21:02.817 --> 00:21:04.917
So you don't wanna be that guy.
00:21:05.218 --> 00:21:07.647
So get some physical bust of sweat, man.
00:21:07.647 --> 00:21:08.307
Just a little bit.
00:21:08.307 --> 00:21:11.458
You don't have to, we don't have to be Ed honored.
00:21:12.417 --> 00:21:14.218
You don't have to be Mr. Olympia man.
00:21:14.593 --> 00:21:16.903
But you gotta, you gotta stretch yourself a little bit.
00:21:17.083 --> 00:21:19.212
Get that stiffness, work that rust out.
00:21:19.692 --> 00:21:21.012
Now bust a sweat.
00:21:21.012 --> 00:21:24.222
Also, is a mental sweat the thing that you don't feel like doing.
00:21:24.222 --> 00:21:27.103
Again, walking into uncomfortable situations.
00:21:27.522 --> 00:21:32.623
Asking something directly, asking someone to buy, asking someone to do something.
00:21:32.923 --> 00:21:40.992
Ask, you know, saying what your, what's your expectations for some like, man, have these conversations, the confrontation piece, but in a productive way, man.
00:21:40.992 --> 00:21:43.123
Do those things and you're gonna build that capacity.
00:21:43.123 --> 00:21:46.212
I. Number four, reframe the narrative.
00:21:46.692 --> 00:21:47.053
Okay?
00:21:47.292 --> 00:21:59.246
You gotta remember, man, like when you fade away from adversity or uncertainty, are you, are you, you comply with complacency, you're building that narrative.
00:21:59.726 --> 00:22:00.536
It's what you're doing.
00:22:00.925 --> 00:22:02.875
And if you wanna rewrite that narrative.
00:22:03.955 --> 00:22:06.175
Then you have to push yourself outside.
00:22:06.685 --> 00:22:09.746
And then when you do that, man, you're rewriting that narrative.
00:22:09.746 --> 00:22:11.066
You're doing things outside.
00:22:11.096 --> 00:22:13.435
And dude, again, I'm just talking about small things.
00:22:13.615 --> 00:22:16.556
It's the small things that build these little micro doses up.
00:22:16.736 --> 00:22:22.316
So when hard things hit, you have something to fall back on and remind yourself that, look, I've done some hardship before.
00:22:22.316 --> 00:22:24.685
Okay, but you gotta, you can't just like.
00:22:25.240 --> 00:22:26.891
Sit in a chair all day long.
00:22:26.891 --> 00:22:30.250
We atrophy in life when we're not pushing ourselves, and that's what we do.
00:22:30.250 --> 00:22:38.381
We just, we sit in these metaphorical chairs and we're just like, well, it's, it's, I mean, when time comes, I mean, we'll just deal with it there.
00:22:38.411 --> 00:22:42.340
No, you deal with it every day by just building in your tolerances.
00:22:42.461 --> 00:22:45.161
Again, it's the thing you don't want do yet.
00:22:45.161 --> 00:22:46.871
It leads to something productive.
00:22:47.050 --> 00:22:47.921
Go ahead and do it.
00:22:48.296 --> 00:22:49.796
The last one create a new identity.
00:22:49.796 --> 00:22:55.526
Well, I guess I just talked about identity, so, but I didn't really talk about reframe, so let me swap number four and five out.
00:22:56.006 --> 00:22:56.365
Okay.
00:22:56.576 --> 00:22:59.036
Reframing the power of reframing.
00:22:59.036 --> 00:23:14.605
I did a whole podcast episode on this, have no idea which number it is, but the power of reframing means that you take something and instead of going off the rails talking about woe is me, you reframe it and you find your do wells like what did you do well in this situation?
00:23:14.786 --> 00:23:16.375
How did you handle yourself?
00:23:16.435 --> 00:23:17.486
Draw on the good.
00:23:18.746 --> 00:23:30.445
Un understand, analyze, learn from the, the not so good, the bad, and then you reframe it and roll on, man, you're just, again, you're just building the capacity and you're rewriting the narrative itself.
00:23:31.796 --> 00:23:34.405
So here's my challenge for you today, okay.
00:23:34.766 --> 00:23:39.925
What are some things that you're tolerating but shouldn't be?
00:23:40.796 --> 00:23:46.195
And what are some things that you should be tolerating more, but you're not?
00:23:47.365 --> 00:23:56.409
In other words, what do you need to do less of and what do you need to do more of the answer's in your next move.
00:23:56.979 --> 00:23:58.388
All right, let's get outta here.
00:23:58.388 --> 00:23:59.169
Keep it simple.
00:23:59.229 --> 00:23:59.979
Keep it moving.
00:23:59.979 --> 00:24:00.729
Never settle.
00:24:00.729 --> 00:24:01.388
Stay tough.
00:24:01.388 --> 00:24:01.778
Peace.