860. When did you stop wondering & start wandering?

WEBVTT

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I want to read to you.

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Something that.

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Just really is profound.

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And I titled this episode.

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When did you stop?

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Wondering.

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And began.

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Wandering.

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And I'm adding the emphasis on the "a" wandering around stumbling bumbling.

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And we lost our wonder.

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And, you know, pick up this passage from gay Hendrix's book, conscious living.

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And it was so profound, man.

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It just.

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It just leaped.

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Leaped, whatever the word is.

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It just jumped out there at me.

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So, let me read this to you, man.

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Gay Hendricks rights.

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If you keep your wonder alive.

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You're on the path of conscious living.

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When your wonder dies.

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When you quit asking the big questions.

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When you settle into a life of roles.

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Rituals.

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Routines.

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And really just.

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A comfortable life.

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You begin to live a life of justification.

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Rather than a life.

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Of exploration.

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And when you turn into a life of justification.

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Something precious.

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Dies within you.

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You know, I can tell you this firsthand.

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That every day.

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The.

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Walls of judgment.

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An opinion.

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I constantly try to squeeze in on me.

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Especially as I get older.

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And the wolves.

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Of.

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Satisfaction.

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And complacency.

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Are always nipping at my heels.

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And that is something, man, that you have to realize.

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Is never going to go away for you.

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It's always going to be there for you.

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And I'm blessed.

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To know.

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That reading every day.

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Writing.

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And sharing.

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I have become that.

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Forcing function for me.

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It's become my morning ritual.

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That.

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Keep the walls of.

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Judgment and opinion.

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From closing in on me.

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And they keep the wolves.

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Of satisfaction and complacency.

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They keep them at bay.

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But if you think for one minute that you're ever going to get to a certain level in life, And not have to deal with uncertainty, adversity, and complacency.

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It's just going to be set it and forget it.

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You're going to be in for a hard life.

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It's never going to go away.

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And so.

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The actions of reading.

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In writing.

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And communicating.

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What I read and write.

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Oftentimes just with myself, I just use the medium.

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Of a podcast, but that's not for everybody, but I use the medium of a podcast.

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To articulate that message.

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If anything, if for no other reason, if nobody listened to any of these episodes, It's a way for me to.

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write Spend time with myself, unpack the thoughts, interpret it.

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What does it mean to me?

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And it cultivates wonder.

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And prevents me from caving.

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into wandering wandering.

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Stumbling.

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And bumbling around the Hendrix goes on to say, That when he.

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He was a therapist when he worked with clients.

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He would have the clients.

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Bring in childhood photos at various ages and stages in their life.

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And he said there was always one photo.

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That showed a time.

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When wonder.

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Was no longer visible on their face.

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And he asked them.

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What happened?

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What killed it?

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And how did you plug the hole?

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Where it was ripped from.

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That is such a powerful.

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Image.

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You go back and look at.

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Old photos of yourself.

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Childhood or various stages.

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I bet you, you could spot it in yourself real quick.

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The turning point.

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What happened?

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Who or what killed it?

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And what did you do to plug the hole?

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And you plugged it probably with.

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Accepting.

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Giving up.

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Probably numbed yourself to the pain.

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With vices.

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Eating drinking.

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Toxic people.

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Work.

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Just gave up.

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When was that time for you?

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When was that time for you that you lost?

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You're wonder.

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And just accepted a life.

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Of wandering.

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Accepting a life.

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Of it is what it is.

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see had I not been committed to.

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Writing something every day.

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And really.

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I wandered into this.

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I stumbled.

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Into.

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Reading and writing.

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I didn't read my first book until I was 25.

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I got all through high school.

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Mostly through college.

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I have 18 hours and never finished.

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But mostly through college.

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Never read a book.

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And.

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The first book I ever read was because I was just trying to figure out.

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How to get out of the casino life.

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And get into.

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A real job.

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No shade to those who work at a casino or just, it just wasn't for me.

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And so I just, I didn't see a future.

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Let me say it like that.

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I didn't see a future.

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In that field.

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And I began to wonder.

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Because I was tired of wandering.

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And that's what happens.

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We live in three points in life.

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Point a wake up point B go to work point C, go to bed.

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Rinse and repeat.

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And life gets stale, boring.

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Uh, depressing.

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And we just give up.

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So when I was at my lowest point in life.

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The only thing I could turn to was reading.

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So.

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I began to read.

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But then I wanted to do something with what I read.

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And so.

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I wandered.

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Emphasis on the a, I wandered into writing.

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I just started writing word for word.

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And see.

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The reading.

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And the.

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Writing.

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Began to cultivate.

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The wonder.

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I began to question.

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What I was reading.

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And instead of writing word for word.

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Because sometimes you have to borrow someone else's voice and thinking until you can develop your own.

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I was at a tough point in my life.

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Dark point.

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Suicidal.

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Giving up.

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Wandering.

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And so that mechanism.

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Began to make me pick up the pen and wonder.

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What is my life about?

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Where am I going?

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What are my dreams?

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How far can I go?

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How can I get out of this mess?

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How can I get my life back on track?

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How can I attract good people into my life?

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How can I do something more?

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With the talents.

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The God has blessed me with.

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And so that act.

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Of reading.

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And writing.

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Began.

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To put me on the path of embodying.

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Living that life.

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And then sharing it with you.

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I can tell you this, that the last episode, episode 8 59.

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Who was critical for me.

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Because.

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Wondering and wandering.

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Uh, really, really close to one another.

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And if you're not cautiously.

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Wondering.

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Questioning.

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Asking big questions.

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Looking at what you're doing every day.

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And performing a process that cultivates that, not just do the process, but actually just triggers it.

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If you're not doing that.

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You're going to slip into.

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Wondering.

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Drifting along.

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Point a.

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To point B to point C wake up.

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Go to work.

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Go home.

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Rinse and repeat.

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And you slip into this life of.

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Complacency.

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And you justify it away.

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And over beers you say.

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This is what I could have done.

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So last week's episode.

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And putting in a, a small grading system.

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Has become.

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A powerful.

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Reflective mechanism for me.

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In the mornings.

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Super simple grade one to five.

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Yesterday, how well did you communicate one to five?

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Five being the best one being not so good.

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Yesterday.

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How creative were you?

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One to five.

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How curious were you?

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One to five.

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What did you learn today?

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One to five.

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What did you confront in yourself?

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And possibly others.

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One to five.

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Just give myself a quick grade.

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And it brings in awareness.

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It makes me question.

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What did I do yesterday?

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And how can I build on that?

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And improve on that.

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For the rest of my life.

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In short, how can I.

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Wonder.

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And not wonder.

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Because you can't.

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Just coast.

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You can't.

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Just think.

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That this is enough.

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This is good.

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There's more for you.

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And I'm not talking about money.

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I'm talking about wealth.

00:14:04.269 --> 00:14:08.918
Spiritual mental, physical, financial.

00:14:09.609 --> 00:14:10.599
Relational.

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I'm so grateful.

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For these messages I got to share with you.

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Because I share them with myself.

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And it makes me question.

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What am I doing?

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Where am I going?

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What is it leading to?

00:14:28.679 --> 00:14:29.698
Is it progressive?

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Is it impactful?

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For my family.

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For myself.

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And for the community at large.

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My daughter's in a crucial stage in her life right now.

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Critical Sage.

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She's a junior in high school.

00:14:47.429 --> 00:14:50.370
And so now she's at the point where she's questioning.

00:14:51.809 --> 00:14:54.149
What do I want to do after high school?

00:14:54.179 --> 00:14:58.679
It becomes a sobering reality that, oh my God, I'm about to be an adult.

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Like what happens after this?

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And instead of just.

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Wandering into doing what everybody else does.

00:15:07.438 --> 00:15:12.149
And they wonder into college and rack up hundreds of thousands of dollars of student loan debt.

00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:14.789
And I was explaining to her, so you can't bankrupt that.

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You can't just say, oh, that plan didn't work.

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They're going to send you a bill.

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And what happens is, as I was explaining to her, what happens is, is people.

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Youth, they get into college.

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They just do something.

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Most times they drop out.

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If they do finish, they re-enroll because they still don't know.

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Won't know what they want to do.

00:15:36.419 --> 00:15:37.919
So they just get another degree.

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Are they just wonder out of college?

00:15:41.578 --> 00:15:44.220
And they have to grab the first thing.

00:15:44.818 --> 00:15:48.419
That pays the bills and covers the student loan debt.

00:15:50.039 --> 00:15:51.600
And that's where the trap.

00:15:52.259 --> 00:15:53.100
Get set.

00:15:53.698 --> 00:15:57.360
Actually the trap was set way before junior year in high school.

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What do I want to do?

00:16:00.809 --> 00:16:01.769
And so I'm telling her.

00:16:02.219 --> 00:16:04.350
I support you in whatever you want to do.

00:16:05.009 --> 00:16:07.620
But I'm glad that you're asking these questions.

00:16:08.399 --> 00:16:09.029
What do I do?

00:16:09.029 --> 00:16:13.080
And at any time you can cut bait and go a different direction.

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Sometimes it's good to dig in other times, it's good to not chase the sunk cost.

00:16:18.899 --> 00:16:19.469
And say.

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This isn't for me, whatever it is.

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And that you constantly question.

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What you're doing.

00:16:28.469 --> 00:16:35.249
And I'm grateful that I can help her with this because my three sons, I didn't do that.

00:16:35.909 --> 00:16:43.708
I didn't do that because I was wandering I was just working in sales, working a gig.

00:16:44.249 --> 00:16:44.879
Making.

00:16:46.019 --> 00:16:47.969
A hundred thousand dollars a year.

00:16:48.659 --> 00:16:50.279
Whatever it was one 50.

00:16:50.999 --> 00:16:52.350
Got a nice car.

00:16:53.009 --> 00:16:54.899
Got a house with a swimming pool.

00:16:56.279 --> 00:16:56.999
Wake up.

00:16:58.019 --> 00:16:58.769
Go to work.

00:16:59.249 --> 00:17:00.059
Come home.

00:17:00.600 --> 00:17:01.409
New month.

00:17:01.769 --> 00:17:02.909
Back to zero.

00:17:03.629 --> 00:17:04.769
Fight to get the month.

00:17:05.108 --> 00:17:06.750
great month, poor month.

00:17:06.868 --> 00:17:07.589
Start over.

00:17:09.059 --> 00:17:11.789
Well, they were looking at dad and they were like, well, this is what he does.

00:17:11.789 --> 00:17:12.868
This is what I'm going to do.

00:17:14.909 --> 00:17:16.949
And so they were shoved out in the life.

00:17:18.630 --> 00:17:19.769
wandering along.

00:17:22.469 --> 00:17:25.920
Because I was wandering and I'd stopped.

00:17:26.369 --> 00:17:27.029
Wondering.

00:17:28.650 --> 00:17:30.119
And asking the big questions.

00:17:32.619 --> 00:17:33.609
I won't allow that.

00:17:35.559 --> 00:17:36.369
for my daughter.

00:17:37.869 --> 00:17:39.579
And I won't allow that for my wife.

00:17:42.349 --> 00:17:43.549
I won't let them wander.

00:17:45.980 --> 00:17:47.720
Because I start my mornings.

00:17:48.529 --> 00:17:49.339
Wondering.

00:17:50.029 --> 00:17:51.710
It sets the tone, the reading.

00:17:52.369 --> 00:17:53.269
The writing.

00:17:53.690 --> 00:17:54.559
The sharing.

00:17:55.849 --> 00:17:58.069
The communicating with myself and others.

00:18:01.549 --> 00:18:02.509
Sets the tone.

00:18:04.609 --> 00:18:05.779
Instead of sets the trap.

00:18:08.599 --> 00:18:10.250
And let me tell you this what's beautiful.

00:18:12.200 --> 00:18:12.589
Number one.

00:18:12.589 --> 00:18:13.670
I want you to question.

00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:17.180
When did I lose my wonder?

00:18:17.869 --> 00:18:18.650
What happened?

00:18:19.220 --> 00:18:20.210
Who or what killed it?

00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:23.990
What do I do to plug the hole?

00:18:24.710 --> 00:18:25.430
Question that.

00:18:25.970 --> 00:18:27.410
Don't get too down in the rabbit hole.

00:18:27.470 --> 00:18:28.789
Don't kick the can down the road.

00:18:29.539 --> 00:18:30.170
Because.

00:18:31.190 --> 00:18:32.119
Immediately.

00:18:32.660 --> 00:18:34.430
As soon as you hear this message.

00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:37.339
You can stop wandering.

00:18:38.269 --> 00:18:39.500
Stumbling along.

00:18:41.599 --> 00:18:42.619
And begin to wonder.

00:18:45.019 --> 00:18:46.700
What else is there for me, dude?

00:18:46.700 --> 00:18:48.049
I'm 51 years old.

00:18:50.299 --> 00:18:51.829
I have squandered.

00:18:54.619 --> 00:18:54.859
If.

00:18:55.880 --> 00:18:57.109
Being generous.

00:18:58.099 --> 00:18:59.779
At least two decades of my life.

00:19:01.309 --> 00:19:02.779
I could spend that time.

00:19:04.369 --> 00:19:05.119
Wandering.

00:19:06.019 --> 00:19:06.650
Saying.

00:19:08.180 --> 00:19:08.869
What happened?

00:19:09.230 --> 00:19:10.579
What happened to the time?

00:19:11.480 --> 00:19:13.430
Arkan spend the rest of my life.

00:19:14.269 --> 00:19:14.990
Wondering.

00:19:17.480 --> 00:19:18.470
What can I do from here?

00:19:19.700 --> 00:19:20.630
That's what I want for you.

00:19:28.039 --> 00:19:28.730
Let's get out of here.

00:19:29.150 --> 00:19:29.839
Keep it simple.

00:19:30.019 --> 00:19:30.740
Keep it moving.

00:19:31.490 --> 00:19:32.210
Never settle.

00:19:33.259 --> 00:19:34.470
Stay tough peace.