Aug. 18, 2024
853. The See-Saw Effect.
In Episode 853, "The See-Saw Effect," I dive into the myths of work-life balance inspired by Ari Rastegar's book The Gift of Failure.
Discover the transformative approach to daily life by segmenting your day into sessions and focusing 100% on the task at hand.
Join me as we explore how prioritizing moments can lead to a more fulfilled, effective lifestyle, leaving behind the chase for elusive balance.
📣Who needs to hear this episode? Share it and help grow the show.
🛑 Watch & subscribe to episodes on my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiNqFo05MJ6_yCu1vJ3rX4A
📝Leave a quick rating and review for any platform: https://www.marshbuice.com/reviews/new/
📲Share: https://www.marshbuice.com/episodes/
🤝See my daily stories: https://www.instagram.com/marshbuice/
👩💻 FREE Content! www.marshbuice.com
Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough.
WEBVTT
00:00:00.540 --> 00:00:00.810
All right.
00:00:00.810 --> 00:00:01.379
3, 2, 1.
00:00:01.379 --> 00:00:01.860
Let's get it.
00:00:01.889 --> 00:00:04.259
Welcome to another edition of what's your problem?
00:00:04.259 --> 00:00:05.190
The podcast.
00:00:05.190 --> 00:00:09.890
I'm your host Marsh Buice and today, man, I absolutely love.
00:00:10.910 --> 00:00:16.320
Random reading there are times that I read a book cover to cover, but the random reading is something that I do.
00:00:16.710 --> 00:00:20.550
Every morning or try to do for the most part, probably 90% of the time.
00:00:20.760 --> 00:00:22.620
Sometimes I get locked into a book.
00:00:23.160 --> 00:00:29.219
But the random reading part is where I just pick a book off the shelf and I read 15 minutes.
00:00:29.219 --> 00:00:30.809
So I like this morning.
00:00:31.469 --> 00:00:33.119
I was reading, uh, Ari.
00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:35.700
Rastagar his book, the gift of failure.
00:00:36.450 --> 00:00:42.780
And I've read the book cover to cover, but you know, you read books and then you come back to them years later.
00:00:43.380 --> 00:00:46.890
And you don't even remember the section that you're reading.
00:00:47.100 --> 00:00:50.729
That's what I love about the random reading part is because there's just stuff, man.
00:00:50.729 --> 00:00:52.380
You got away from, or maybe.
00:00:52.770 --> 00:00:56.729
You were at a time where maybe, because this was chapter eight.
00:00:57.270 --> 00:00:59.579
I was just trying to power through the book.
00:00:59.969 --> 00:01:02.850
And don't even re I, truthfully don't even remember it.
00:01:03.090 --> 00:01:04.799
And I think I've read the book twice.
00:01:05.609 --> 00:01:12.359
So, this is why you should go back and read some of your old books, but you don't have to read them cover to cover.
00:01:12.870 --> 00:01:17.129
Just go to a certain section, something I like to go to the table of contents.
00:01:17.430 --> 00:01:23.549
I find a chapter that resonates with where I'm at, you know, cause we're in seasons in life.
00:01:24.030 --> 00:01:28.978
And I'll read that one chapter and sometimes I can apply it right then and there.
00:01:29.219 --> 00:01:32.909
And sometimes it just, it has a residual effect, you know?
00:01:33.269 --> 00:01:34.500
And so it just kind of.
00:01:35.129 --> 00:01:40.530
It's like residue just kind of lays on my soul and, and I've had situations like that.
00:01:40.530 --> 00:01:42.000
I was like, oh, okay.
00:01:42.390 --> 00:01:45.060
I read it, but nothing really triggered.
00:01:45.450 --> 00:01:48.659
And then dude, like, Days later.
00:01:49.079 --> 00:01:51.478
Something crosses my path.
00:01:51.810 --> 00:01:58.680
And because I read that days earlier is like, This is the time that I needed it.
00:01:59.129 --> 00:02:01.650
And so this is, what's a wonderful thing about that.
00:02:01.650 --> 00:02:07.709
What I like about the random reading, in addition to picking up things that you've just forgotten about along the way.
00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:13.800
Also this trains your focus, but they're just micro sessions about the focusing.
00:02:13.800 --> 00:02:18.419
So when your random reading you don't have to spend hours doing it.
00:02:18.569 --> 00:02:27.150
Look you're busy, but if, if you'll train yourself to just set your timer 10 to 15 minutes, And just read whatever you can get done.
00:02:27.150 --> 00:02:30.000
Sometimes you can get a chapter and a half read.
00:02:30.240 --> 00:02:37.500
Sometimes it's just a little bit, sometimes dude, I've gone to chapters and it kind of gets bogged down with the big context and stuff.
00:02:37.740 --> 00:02:39.960
But because I've read the book before.
00:02:40.379 --> 00:02:42.240
There are sections that I've already underlined.
00:02:42.240 --> 00:02:43.500
I kind of just go to that.
00:02:43.770 --> 00:02:46.500
And then I read on from there, or kind of read around that.
00:02:46.650 --> 00:02:52.560
So there's different ways that you can actually do it, but I would urge you to practice this art of random reading.
00:02:52.830 --> 00:02:55.109
So when I'm working out of this, week's.
00:02:55.229 --> 00:02:55.919
A book.
00:02:56.379 --> 00:02:57.490
The gift of failure.
00:02:58.060 --> 00:03:02.680
Specifically chapter eight, titled there is no such thing as work-life balance.
00:03:04.090 --> 00:03:09.219
This really resonated with me, man, because sometimes dude, I feel like I'm just, I'm fighting with balance.
00:03:09.219 --> 00:03:09.879
You ever said that.
00:03:09.879 --> 00:03:15.460
I mean, we all sit there and say, man, I wish my life was more balanced in every morning, man.
00:03:15.490 --> 00:03:16.060
I'm walking.
00:03:16.060 --> 00:03:18.159
I'm like, dude, how can I be more efficient?
00:03:18.819 --> 00:03:21.879
But I don't view life as balanced.
00:03:22.270 --> 00:03:24.400
I view it more so as mixture.
00:03:24.400 --> 00:03:26.740
And I've talked about that in previous episodes.
00:03:27.099 --> 00:03:34.090
There are seasons that you're going to go through in life where some seasons need more attention than others.
00:03:34.360 --> 00:03:38.530
Like when I started in sales, It was an oil and water season.
00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:40.419
oil and water doesn't mix.
00:03:40.719 --> 00:03:49.210
And so there was a separation during that time where really had to put a hundred percent of my focus in getting my sales career off the ground.
00:03:49.210 --> 00:03:55.240
It was all commission job, and I left a sure paying job as a supervisor at the casino.
00:03:55.520 --> 00:03:59.300
And got into this and, you know, I had to make it work.
00:03:59.300 --> 00:04:00.349
I had no stove.
00:04:00.349 --> 00:04:01.550
I had no refrigerator.
00:04:01.550 --> 00:04:03.949
I was living in a rent house half the time.
00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:04.840
I would hear.
00:04:05.590 --> 00:04:06.490
We make you laugh.
00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:08.000
I was past due on everything.
00:04:08.030 --> 00:04:09.169
My credit was shot.
00:04:09.800 --> 00:04:16.639
My even my light bill was pass due when I would leave for work in the mornings, I would leave the porch light on.
00:04:17.060 --> 00:04:18.350
So that way.
00:04:19.250 --> 00:04:22.790
When I came home at night and I would drive around the corner.
00:04:22.790 --> 00:04:26.509
If the porch light was on, I realized that they didn't shut off my lights.
00:04:26.689 --> 00:04:28.310
That was kind of the thing for me.
00:04:28.550 --> 00:04:30.319
But there are many times, man, where.
00:04:30.800 --> 00:04:32.660
Me and my oldest son, we.
00:04:33.290 --> 00:04:34.639
We slept in the dark.
00:04:34.689 --> 00:04:36.069
I didn't pay the light bill.
00:04:36.370 --> 00:04:37.660
And so that's where I was.
00:04:37.660 --> 00:04:43.970
So when I got into sales and getting this thing off the ground, that was a season for me.
00:04:43.970 --> 00:04:48.050
You're going to have those kind of seasons, but those seasons, they don't last forever.
00:04:48.620 --> 00:04:57.110
And so you, you apply what you have to, you put a lot of energy toward that, but you can't sustain that for long-term.
00:04:58.009 --> 00:05:08.240
You gotta be careful with that because there are times where I've just let my family slip while I was just chasing this quest for success.
00:05:08.449 --> 00:05:11.779
And ironically, I realized that it's not worth it.
00:05:11.810 --> 00:05:12.738
When I got demoted.
00:05:12.769 --> 00:05:14.089
When you're chasing success.
00:05:14.089 --> 00:05:18.740
A lot of times you say, oh, I'm doing this for us when really it's all about you.
00:05:18.889 --> 00:05:20.689
So it's total bullshit what you're saying.
00:05:20.689 --> 00:05:25.129
And so when I got demoted, I realized that, and I was like, dude, It's not worth that.
00:05:25.509 --> 00:05:28.869
But I've been guilty of that and just pushing, pushing, pushing.
00:05:29.769 --> 00:05:32.709
And while I believe life is a mixture of things.
00:05:33.278 --> 00:05:35.108
Ari takes it a step further.
00:05:35.168 --> 00:05:37.959
He suggests that You have to think of your day.
00:05:38.528 --> 00:05:39.459
In sessions.
00:05:39.908 --> 00:05:43.298
And I really like this, this whole analogy and the sessions.
00:05:43.509 --> 00:05:47.108
You know, my wife's got a gym and it's right next door to recording studio.
00:05:47.738 --> 00:05:49.358
And they have sessions.
00:05:49.548 --> 00:05:51.468
They don't stay there for days at a time.
00:05:51.468 --> 00:05:53.838
They go in there for a couple of hours.
00:05:54.168 --> 00:05:55.668
And they work as session.
00:05:56.028 --> 00:05:59.499
And so what if you chopped your day up into sessions.
00:05:59.889 --> 00:06:00.848
It means.
00:06:01.358 --> 00:06:03.009
That you're a hundred percent.
00:06:03.999 --> 00:06:07.629
Where you are in the moment at that time.
00:06:08.678 --> 00:06:11.619
And the image that Ari gives in this chapter.
00:06:12.369 --> 00:06:14.348
Is to look at it as a Seesaw.
00:06:15.009 --> 00:06:16.358
And you know, what a Seesaw is.
00:06:16.389 --> 00:06:17.348
One side is up.
00:06:17.379 --> 00:06:18.608
The other side is down.
00:06:18.788 --> 00:06:20.408
It's never perfectly balanced.
00:06:20.769 --> 00:06:21.759
The upside.
00:06:22.809 --> 00:06:26.019
Is where you're fully present in the moment, whatever it is that you're doing.
00:06:26.288 --> 00:06:31.459
So if you're at work, be a hundred percent at work, if you're with your family, be a hundred percent see saw is up.
00:06:31.939 --> 00:06:34.249
If you're working out, be a hundred percent there.
00:06:34.848 --> 00:06:39.139
'cause I think, it goes back to the analogy of he who chases two rabbits gets none.
00:06:39.588 --> 00:06:41.629
And I think a lot of times in our day.
00:06:41.928 --> 00:06:46.548
What leads to more frustration is because we're trying to multitask.
00:06:46.579 --> 00:06:48.559
We're trying to do a whole bunch of different things.
00:06:48.949 --> 00:06:51.889
And We're an inch deep in our impact in the day.
00:06:52.519 --> 00:06:54.678
And we're not getting anything fully accomplished.
00:06:54.949 --> 00:06:58.399
It's like we're, we're, we're putting out a couple of little fires here and there.
00:06:59.059 --> 00:07:00.769
But our focus is so.
00:07:01.369 --> 00:07:02.478
Diverted.
00:07:02.988 --> 00:07:04.819
That nothing's getting done.
00:07:04.879 --> 00:07:09.829
And you get frustrated at the end of the day, at the end of the week you like bro, I didn't get anything done.
00:07:10.399 --> 00:07:13.278
So the beauty about the Seesaw effect is.
00:07:13.499 --> 00:07:14.819
You look at it in sessions.
00:07:14.999 --> 00:07:16.319
You don't have to spend.
00:07:16.738 --> 00:07:22.918
All day on one project, but you do commit to a set amount of time.
00:07:23.689 --> 00:07:27.559
And you're going to find with the Seesaw effect that you can handle multiple task.
00:07:28.129 --> 00:07:31.129
By giving you your full attention during that time.
00:07:31.848 --> 00:07:35.449
And so when you're in the moment, You're going to be more impactful.
00:07:36.348 --> 00:07:38.869
This is how you're going to get more shit done.
00:07:39.408 --> 00:07:42.588
And you're going to prevent yourself from feeling spread too thin.
00:07:42.889 --> 00:07:44.478
This is what makes you frustrated?
00:07:44.689 --> 00:07:47.298
Because you're just like, oh my God, there's not enough time.
00:07:47.718 --> 00:07:48.738
There's plenty of time.
00:07:48.798 --> 00:07:50.389
Everybody's got the same amount of time.
00:07:50.928 --> 00:07:57.619
But if you look throughout your day as a session and you step into something, you're like, okay, how much time can I devote to this?
00:07:57.858 --> 00:08:03.439
Even if you have to sit like the random reading part that I'm talking about, you set your timer for 15 minutes.
00:08:03.439 --> 00:08:06.079
At the end of the 15 minutes, you'll walk away from it.
00:08:06.079 --> 00:08:10.959
It's like those bubble tests that used to take in grade school, when the teacher said, stop.
00:08:10.988 --> 00:08:11.949
Put your pencil down.
00:08:12.009 --> 00:08:12.668
That's what you did.
00:08:12.668 --> 00:08:13.718
And you walked away from it.
00:08:13.968 --> 00:08:16.189
This is the same sort of analogy here.
00:08:16.908 --> 00:08:20.358
Dude look, I'm guilty of being home and not present.
00:08:20.418 --> 00:08:21.889
There have been many times.
00:08:22.369 --> 00:08:27.319
Where, you know, I get my daughter for a week at a time and it that's precious.
00:08:27.709 --> 00:08:29.988
But I haven't always looked at it like that.
00:08:30.418 --> 00:08:37.589
There are times where she's had conversations with me and I'm in the middle of editing a podcast, or I'm in the middle of reading and writing.
00:08:37.798 --> 00:08:39.119
And she's talking to me.
00:08:39.719 --> 00:08:43.078
And I'm like, But I'm not giving her my full attention.
00:08:43.899 --> 00:08:45.489
I've done the same thing with my wife.
00:08:46.408 --> 00:08:51.448
And I realize in reading this dude, I don't want to be successful in alone.
00:08:52.168 --> 00:08:53.308
I want everybody.
00:08:53.818 --> 00:08:57.479
That I love to come along for the ride, but it's important.
00:08:58.229 --> 00:08:59.339
That they feel.
00:08:59.609 --> 00:09:02.009
And know that they're important to me.
00:09:03.178 --> 00:09:04.979
Hence the Seesaw effect.
00:09:05.928 --> 00:09:08.509
You're never going to be at inbox zero in your life.
00:09:08.629 --> 00:09:09.948
You're never going to get there.
00:09:10.759 --> 00:09:15.048
So with the Seesaw effect, whatever it is that you're doing.
00:09:15.928 --> 00:09:18.208
Whatever that the top part of the Seesaw.
00:09:18.629 --> 00:09:20.609
You be in the moment hundred percent.
00:09:21.458 --> 00:09:22.389
In the moment.
00:09:23.979 --> 00:09:24.969
And then you walk away from it.
00:09:25.918 --> 00:09:28.168
Your first priority in your see saw effect.
00:09:29.519 --> 00:09:30.839
Should be taken care of yourself.
00:09:30.958 --> 00:09:34.499
You come first, you gotta put yourself first because if you put yourself first.
00:09:34.948 --> 00:09:37.139
Everybody else gets the best representation of you.
00:09:37.499 --> 00:09:39.599
See if you're not prioritizing yourself.
00:09:40.109 --> 00:09:41.759
Everybody gets the sloppy leftovers.
00:09:42.749 --> 00:09:45.149
Everyone and everything suffers.
00:09:45.328 --> 00:09:46.798
The quality's not there.
00:09:47.668 --> 00:09:50.879
So, if you take care of you first, you wake up at a set time.
00:09:51.149 --> 00:09:52.499
You budget that time.
00:09:52.769 --> 00:09:53.879
To take care of you.
00:09:54.538 --> 00:09:56.009
And what I would challenge you.
00:09:56.698 --> 00:09:58.528
And the things that have worked well for me.
00:09:59.578 --> 00:10:02.308
Is writing at least one page every day.
00:10:02.609 --> 00:10:05.339
It's some random reading, 10 to 15 minutes.
00:10:05.849 --> 00:10:07.019
It's working out.
00:10:07.528 --> 00:10:08.938
It's sharing something.
00:10:09.178 --> 00:10:12.989
Everybody's a bad-ass, it's something everybody's an expert at something.
00:10:13.198 --> 00:10:14.188
Share something, man.
00:10:14.188 --> 00:10:14.969
What works for you?
00:10:14.969 --> 00:10:16.438
You don't have to preach to everybody.
00:10:16.828 --> 00:10:19.168
Just share with us something that works for you.
00:10:19.528 --> 00:10:22.948
If you're a mechanic, if you're a writer, if you're a cook.
00:10:23.519 --> 00:10:31.109
If you specialize in these 10 minute meals, man, share that, whatever it is and you'll feel better, man, because you're contributing to society.
00:10:31.818 --> 00:10:36.129
So doing these things, these are the lead dominoes, writing.
00:10:36.639 --> 00:10:40.359
It's unschooling your thoughts, reading, getting something new in there.
00:10:41.349 --> 00:10:44.918
If it's an unfamiliar subject, maybe you're kind of dabbling in AI.
00:10:44.918 --> 00:10:45.879
You can dabble in it.
00:10:45.879 --> 00:10:46.749
10, 15 minutes.
00:10:46.749 --> 00:10:47.499
Just feed it.
00:10:47.889 --> 00:10:50.678
You may trigger some sort of spark and run with it from there.
00:10:50.678 --> 00:10:51.278
If not.
00:10:51.788 --> 00:10:53.109
Tomorrow's a new book.
00:10:53.198 --> 00:10:53.859
Cool.
00:10:54.158 --> 00:10:56.469
And then working out, man, bust a sweat every single day.
00:10:56.469 --> 00:10:58.028
This is going to work out some of that tension.
00:10:58.239 --> 00:11:00.278
You're going to start looking and feeling better.
00:11:00.908 --> 00:11:04.778
And you, if you've do this in the mornings, You've already won the day.
00:11:04.778 --> 00:11:07.869
No matter how hell is your day goes, you're good to go.
00:11:08.818 --> 00:11:12.298
So with the Seesaw effect, Uh, wake up at a set time.
00:11:12.509 --> 00:11:13.288
I write.
00:11:13.859 --> 00:11:14.609
A read.
00:11:15.788 --> 00:11:16.619
try to record.
00:11:18.568 --> 00:11:19.469
Uh, workout.
00:11:20.818 --> 00:11:21.688
Then I go to work.
00:11:22.528 --> 00:11:23.399
Dude, I'm there.
00:11:23.548 --> 00:11:24.688
10, 12 hours.
00:11:25.259 --> 00:11:27.479
When I'm at work, I'm a hundred percent there at work.
00:11:28.499 --> 00:11:29.788
And then when I get off.
00:11:30.328 --> 00:11:33.778
If nobody's home, I may can squeeze in a little extra session.
00:11:34.229 --> 00:11:36.869
Of working out, making it a little bit of reading done.
00:11:37.198 --> 00:11:39.208
I make an edit the podcast.
00:11:39.389 --> 00:11:40.019
Cool.
00:11:41.158 --> 00:11:41.938
Seesaw.
00:11:43.109 --> 00:11:46.198
And then when my family comes home, I'm there for them.
00:11:47.099 --> 00:11:48.149
This is a practice.
00:11:48.149 --> 00:11:50.099
This isn't something a set it and forget it.
00:11:51.119 --> 00:11:53.188
It simplifies the life's not easy.
00:11:53.578 --> 00:11:56.219
But you can't simplify it with the Seesaw effect.
00:11:57.149 --> 00:12:00.418
It is something that I'm going to have to consciously do.
00:12:00.879 --> 00:12:04.808
Case in point the other night, I was watching the mayor Kingstown new season.
00:12:05.048 --> 00:12:06.188
So I'm watching that.
00:12:06.668 --> 00:12:07.568
And my wife comes in.
00:12:07.568 --> 00:12:08.558
She starts talking.
00:12:09.548 --> 00:12:11.828
And instantly, I love the image of it.
00:12:12.788 --> 00:12:17.979
I saw the Seesaw, a pause the movie because I've been guilty, man, of trying to watch this.
00:12:18.609 --> 00:12:21.219
Watch this movie and have a conversation.
00:12:21.489 --> 00:12:23.558
He who chases two rabbits gets none.
00:12:24.038 --> 00:12:25.958
So I'm sitting there trying to listen to both.
00:12:26.198 --> 00:12:27.188
And what do I end up doing?
00:12:27.489 --> 00:12:29.318
I'm not giving her my full attention.
00:12:30.308 --> 00:12:32.019
And I didn't catch what's in the movie.
00:12:33.109 --> 00:12:34.458
With the Seesaw effect, man.
00:12:34.818 --> 00:12:37.428
I stopped and we had a great conversation.
00:12:37.908 --> 00:12:39.948
And what's great about streaming TV.
00:12:40.099 --> 00:12:41.328
You can always come back to it.
00:12:41.599 --> 00:12:43.068
Hell, I'll watch it in the shower.
00:12:44.448 --> 00:12:47.269
I put my iPad on the shower door.
00:12:47.839 --> 00:12:50.629
And I can take shower and watch the movie at the same time.
00:12:51.168 --> 00:12:51.979
Uh, so what's good about it.
00:12:52.958 --> 00:12:54.219
And I can always come back to that.
00:12:54.219 --> 00:12:56.019
So it prioritizes things.
00:12:56.798 --> 00:12:57.458
My health.
00:12:58.389 --> 00:12:59.288
My wellness.
00:12:59.798 --> 00:13:02.408
My spiritual life, my family, my work.
00:13:03.308 --> 00:13:05.649
The podcast, all of these things.
00:13:06.668 --> 00:13:08.769
And that image of the Seesaw it's what's going to help.
00:13:09.038 --> 00:13:10.058
Keep you focused.
00:13:10.749 --> 00:13:11.859
On what's important.
00:13:12.548 --> 00:13:13.658
And when you're in the moment.
00:13:14.139 --> 00:13:14.948
You're consistent.
00:13:15.339 --> 00:13:17.469
You're clear, you're building up the momentum.
00:13:18.099 --> 00:13:20.558
And you're not pulled in a thousand different directions.
00:13:21.249 --> 00:13:22.989
You just silo it off.
00:13:23.168 --> 00:13:24.068
It's a session.
00:13:24.188 --> 00:13:24.938
Get it done.
00:13:25.509 --> 00:13:26.558
And then go to the next thing.
00:13:26.558 --> 00:13:27.429
So that way.
00:13:28.328 --> 00:13:29.649
It's being fully present.
00:13:30.158 --> 00:13:31.839
For the things that matter most.
00:13:32.739 --> 00:13:37.269
So that's what I'm working on this week to be more focused, to be more present.
00:13:37.808 --> 00:13:38.499
It's tough.
00:13:39.429 --> 00:13:40.239
But it's doable.
00:13:41.259 --> 00:13:42.548
And it's damn sure worth it.
00:13:43.269 --> 00:13:44.288
All right, let's get out of here.
00:13:44.318 --> 00:13:45.729
Thanks for sharing today's episode.
00:13:45.729 --> 00:13:47.528
Please share this with someone who needs it.
00:13:47.859 --> 00:13:50.019
This will help grow and power the show.
00:13:50.229 --> 00:13:53.198
Also, if you have not done so leave a rating and review.
00:13:53.619 --> 00:13:54.429
Let me know.
00:13:54.969 --> 00:13:59.739
And let others know what this episode or other episodes.
00:14:00.308 --> 00:14:01.328
Of what your problem.
00:14:01.568 --> 00:14:02.349
Have meant to you.
00:14:02.769 --> 00:14:03.129
All right.
00:14:03.129 --> 00:14:03.729
Let's get out of here.
00:14:03.759 --> 00:14:04.419
Keep it simple.
00:14:04.419 --> 00:14:05.078
Keep it moving.
00:14:05.078 --> 00:14:05.708
Never settle.
00:14:05.708 --> 00:14:06.818
Stay tough piece.
00:00:00.540 --> 00:00:00.810
All right.
00:00:00.810 --> 00:00:01.379
3, 2, 1.
00:00:01.379 --> 00:00:01.860
Let's get it.
00:00:01.889 --> 00:00:04.259
Welcome to another edition of what's your problem?
00:00:04.259 --> 00:00:05.190
The podcast.
00:00:05.190 --> 00:00:09.890
I'm your host Marsh Buice and today, man, I absolutely love.
00:00:10.910 --> 00:00:16.320
Random reading there are times that I read a book cover to cover, but the random reading is something that I do.
00:00:16.710 --> 00:00:20.550
Every morning or try to do for the most part, probably 90% of the time.
00:00:20.760 --> 00:00:22.620
Sometimes I get locked into a book.
00:00:23.160 --> 00:00:29.219
But the random reading part is where I just pick a book off the shelf and I read 15 minutes.
00:00:29.219 --> 00:00:30.809
So I like this morning.
00:00:31.469 --> 00:00:33.119
I was reading, uh, Ari.
00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:35.700
Rastagar his book, the gift of failure.
00:00:36.450 --> 00:00:42.780
And I've read the book cover to cover, but you know, you read books and then you come back to them years later.
00:00:43.380 --> 00:00:46.890
And you don't even remember the section that you're reading.
00:00:47.100 --> 00:00:50.729
That's what I love about the random reading part is because there's just stuff, man.
00:00:50.729 --> 00:00:52.380
You got away from, or maybe.
00:00:52.770 --> 00:00:56.729
You were at a time where maybe, because this was chapter eight.
00:00:57.270 --> 00:00:59.579
I was just trying to power through the book.
00:00:59.969 --> 00:01:02.850
And don't even re I, truthfully don't even remember it.
00:01:03.090 --> 00:01:04.799
And I think I've read the book twice.
00:01:05.609 --> 00:01:12.359
So, this is why you should go back and read some of your old books, but you don't have to read them cover to cover.
00:01:12.870 --> 00:01:17.129
Just go to a certain section, something I like to go to the table of contents.
00:01:17.430 --> 00:01:23.549
I find a chapter that resonates with where I'm at, you know, cause we're in seasons in life.
00:01:24.030 --> 00:01:28.978
And I'll read that one chapter and sometimes I can apply it right then and there.
00:01:29.219 --> 00:01:32.909
And sometimes it just, it has a residual effect, you know?
00:01:33.269 --> 00:01:34.500
And so it just kind of.
00:01:35.129 --> 00:01:40.530
It's like residue just kind of lays on my soul and, and I've had situations like that.
00:01:40.530 --> 00:01:42.000
I was like, oh, okay.
00:01:42.390 --> 00:01:45.060
I read it, but nothing really triggered.
00:01:45.450 --> 00:01:48.659
And then dude, like, Days later.
00:01:49.079 --> 00:01:51.478
Something crosses my path.
00:01:51.810 --> 00:01:58.680
And because I read that days earlier is like, This is the time that I needed it.
00:01:59.129 --> 00:02:01.650
And so this is, what's a wonderful thing about that.
00:02:01.650 --> 00:02:07.709
What I like about the random reading, in addition to picking up things that you've just forgotten about along the way.
00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:13.800
Also this trains your focus, but they're just micro sessions about the focusing.
00:02:13.800 --> 00:02:18.419
So when your random reading you don't have to spend hours doing it.
00:02:18.569 --> 00:02:27.150
Look you're busy, but if, if you'll train yourself to just set your timer 10 to 15 minutes, And just read whatever you can get done.
00:02:27.150 --> 00:02:30.000
Sometimes you can get a chapter and a half read.
00:02:30.240 --> 00:02:37.500
Sometimes it's just a little bit, sometimes dude, I've gone to chapters and it kind of gets bogged down with the big context and stuff.
00:02:37.740 --> 00:02:39.960
But because I've read the book before.
00:02:40.379 --> 00:02:42.240
There are sections that I've already underlined.
00:02:42.240 --> 00:02:43.500
I kind of just go to that.
00:02:43.770 --> 00:02:46.500
And then I read on from there, or kind of read around that.
00:02:46.650 --> 00:02:52.560
So there's different ways that you can actually do it, but I would urge you to practice this art of random reading.
00:02:52.830 --> 00:02:55.109
So when I'm working out of this, week's.
00:02:55.229 --> 00:02:55.919
A book.
00:02:56.379 --> 00:02:57.490
The gift of failure.
00:02:58.060 --> 00:03:02.680
Specifically chapter eight, titled there is no such thing as work-life balance.
00:03:04.090 --> 00:03:09.219
This really resonated with me, man, because sometimes dude, I feel like I'm just, I'm fighting with balance.
00:03:09.219 --> 00:03:09.879
You ever said that.
00:03:09.879 --> 00:03:15.460
I mean, we all sit there and say, man, I wish my life was more balanced in every morning, man.
00:03:15.490 --> 00:03:16.060
I'm walking.
00:03:16.060 --> 00:03:18.159
I'm like, dude, how can I be more efficient?
00:03:18.819 --> 00:03:21.879
But I don't view life as balanced.
00:03:22.270 --> 00:03:24.400
I view it more so as mixture.
00:03:24.400 --> 00:03:26.740
And I've talked about that in previous episodes.
00:03:27.099 --> 00:03:34.090
There are seasons that you're going to go through in life where some seasons need more attention than others.
00:03:34.360 --> 00:03:38.530
Like when I started in sales, It was an oil and water season.
00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:40.419
oil and water doesn't mix.
00:03:40.719 --> 00:03:49.210
And so there was a separation during that time where really had to put a hundred percent of my focus in getting my sales career off the ground.
00:03:49.210 --> 00:03:55.240
It was all commission job, and I left a sure paying job as a supervisor at the casino.
00:03:55.520 --> 00:03:59.300
And got into this and, you know, I had to make it work.
00:03:59.300 --> 00:04:00.349
I had no stove.
00:04:00.349 --> 00:04:01.550
I had no refrigerator.
00:04:01.550 --> 00:04:03.949
I was living in a rent house half the time.
00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:04.840
I would hear.
00:04:05.590 --> 00:04:06.490
We make you laugh.
00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:08.000
I was past due on everything.
00:04:08.030 --> 00:04:09.169
My credit was shot.
00:04:09.800 --> 00:04:16.639
My even my light bill was pass due when I would leave for work in the mornings, I would leave the porch light on.
00:04:17.060 --> 00:04:18.350
So that way.
00:04:19.250 --> 00:04:22.790
When I came home at night and I would drive around the corner.
00:04:22.790 --> 00:04:26.509
If the porch light was on, I realized that they didn't shut off my lights.
00:04:26.689 --> 00:04:28.310
That was kind of the thing for me.
00:04:28.550 --> 00:04:30.319
But there are many times, man, where.
00:04:30.800 --> 00:04:32.660
Me and my oldest son, we.
00:04:33.290 --> 00:04:34.639
We slept in the dark.
00:04:34.689 --> 00:04:36.069
I didn't pay the light bill.
00:04:36.370 --> 00:04:37.660
And so that's where I was.
00:04:37.660 --> 00:04:43.970
So when I got into sales and getting this thing off the ground, that was a season for me.
00:04:43.970 --> 00:04:48.050
You're going to have those kind of seasons, but those seasons, they don't last forever.
00:04:48.620 --> 00:04:57.110
And so you, you apply what you have to, you put a lot of energy toward that, but you can't sustain that for long-term.
00:04:58.009 --> 00:05:08.240
You gotta be careful with that because there are times where I've just let my family slip while I was just chasing this quest for success.
00:05:08.449 --> 00:05:11.779
And ironically, I realized that it's not worth it.
00:05:11.810 --> 00:05:12.738
When I got demoted.
00:05:12.769 --> 00:05:14.089
When you're chasing success.
00:05:14.089 --> 00:05:18.740
A lot of times you say, oh, I'm doing this for us when really it's all about you.
00:05:18.889 --> 00:05:20.689
So it's total bullshit what you're saying.
00:05:20.689 --> 00:05:25.129
And so when I got demoted, I realized that, and I was like, dude, It's not worth that.
00:05:25.509 --> 00:05:28.869
But I've been guilty of that and just pushing, pushing, pushing.
00:05:29.769 --> 00:05:32.709
And while I believe life is a mixture of things.
00:05:33.278 --> 00:05:35.108
Ari takes it a step further.
00:05:35.168 --> 00:05:37.959
He suggests that You have to think of your day.
00:05:38.528 --> 00:05:39.459
In sessions.
00:05:39.908 --> 00:05:43.298
And I really like this, this whole analogy and the sessions.
00:05:43.509 --> 00:05:47.108
You know, my wife's got a gym and it's right next door to recording studio.
00:05:47.738 --> 00:05:49.358
And they have sessions.
00:05:49.548 --> 00:05:51.468
They don't stay there for days at a time.
00:05:51.468 --> 00:05:53.838
They go in there for a couple of hours.
00:05:54.168 --> 00:05:55.668
And they work as session.
00:05:56.028 --> 00:05:59.499
And so what if you chopped your day up into sessions.
00:05:59.889 --> 00:06:00.848
It means.
00:06:01.358 --> 00:06:03.009
That you're a hundred percent.
00:06:03.999 --> 00:06:07.629
Where you are in the moment at that time.
00:06:08.678 --> 00:06:11.619
And the image that Ari gives in this chapter.
00:06:12.369 --> 00:06:14.348
Is to look at it as a Seesaw.
00:06:15.009 --> 00:06:16.358
And you know, what a Seesaw is.
00:06:16.389 --> 00:06:17.348
One side is up.
00:06:17.379 --> 00:06:18.608
The other side is down.
00:06:18.788 --> 00:06:20.408
It's never perfectly balanced.
00:06:20.769 --> 00:06:21.759
The upside.
00:06:22.809 --> 00:06:26.019
Is where you're fully present in the moment, whatever it is that you're doing.
00:06:26.288 --> 00:06:31.459
So if you're at work, be a hundred percent at work, if you're with your family, be a hundred percent see saw is up.
00:06:31.939 --> 00:06:34.249
If you're working out, be a hundred percent there.
00:06:34.848 --> 00:06:39.139
'cause I think, it goes back to the analogy of he who chases two rabbits gets none.
00:06:39.588 --> 00:06:41.629
And I think a lot of times in our day.
00:06:41.928 --> 00:06:46.548
What leads to more frustration is because we're trying to multitask.
00:06:46.579 --> 00:06:48.559
We're trying to do a whole bunch of different things.
00:06:48.949 --> 00:06:51.889
And We're an inch deep in our impact in the day.
00:06:52.519 --> 00:06:54.678
And we're not getting anything fully accomplished.
00:06:54.949 --> 00:06:58.399
It's like we're, we're, we're putting out a couple of little fires here and there.
00:06:59.059 --> 00:07:00.769
But our focus is so.
00:07:01.369 --> 00:07:02.478
Diverted.
00:07:02.988 --> 00:07:04.819
That nothing's getting done.
00:07:04.879 --> 00:07:09.829
And you get frustrated at the end of the day, at the end of the week you like bro, I didn't get anything done.
00:07:10.399 --> 00:07:13.278
So the beauty about the Seesaw effect is.
00:07:13.499 --> 00:07:14.819
You look at it in sessions.
00:07:14.999 --> 00:07:16.319
You don't have to spend.
00:07:16.738 --> 00:07:22.918
All day on one project, but you do commit to a set amount of time.
00:07:23.689 --> 00:07:27.559
And you're going to find with the Seesaw effect that you can handle multiple task.
00:07:28.129 --> 00:07:31.129
By giving you your full attention during that time.
00:07:31.848 --> 00:07:35.449
And so when you're in the moment, You're going to be more impactful.
00:07:36.348 --> 00:07:38.869
This is how you're going to get more shit done.
00:07:39.408 --> 00:07:42.588
And you're going to prevent yourself from feeling spread too thin.
00:07:42.889 --> 00:07:44.478
This is what makes you frustrated?
00:07:44.689 --> 00:07:47.298
Because you're just like, oh my God, there's not enough time.
00:07:47.718 --> 00:07:48.738
There's plenty of time.
00:07:48.798 --> 00:07:50.389
Everybody's got the same amount of time.
00:07:50.928 --> 00:07:57.619
But if you look throughout your day as a session and you step into something, you're like, okay, how much time can I devote to this?
00:07:57.858 --> 00:08:03.439
Even if you have to sit like the random reading part that I'm talking about, you set your timer for 15 minutes.
00:08:03.439 --> 00:08:06.079
At the end of the 15 minutes, you'll walk away from it.
00:08:06.079 --> 00:08:10.959
It's like those bubble tests that used to take in grade school, when the teacher said, stop.
00:08:10.988 --> 00:08:11.949
Put your pencil down.
00:08:12.009 --> 00:08:12.668
That's what you did.
00:08:12.668 --> 00:08:13.718
And you walked away from it.
00:08:13.968 --> 00:08:16.189
This is the same sort of analogy here.
00:08:16.908 --> 00:08:20.358
Dude look, I'm guilty of being home and not present.
00:08:20.418 --> 00:08:21.889
There have been many times.
00:08:22.369 --> 00:08:27.319
Where, you know, I get my daughter for a week at a time and it that's precious.
00:08:27.709 --> 00:08:29.988
But I haven't always looked at it like that.
00:08:30.418 --> 00:08:37.589
There are times where she's had conversations with me and I'm in the middle of editing a podcast, or I'm in the middle of reading and writing.
00:08:37.798 --> 00:08:39.119
And she's talking to me.
00:08:39.719 --> 00:08:43.078
And I'm like, But I'm not giving her my full attention.
00:08:43.899 --> 00:08:45.489
I've done the same thing with my wife.
00:08:46.408 --> 00:08:51.448
And I realize in reading this dude, I don't want to be successful in alone.
00:08:52.168 --> 00:08:53.308
I want everybody.
00:08:53.818 --> 00:08:57.479
That I love to come along for the ride, but it's important.
00:08:58.229 --> 00:08:59.339
That they feel.
00:08:59.609 --> 00:09:02.009
And know that they're important to me.
00:09:03.178 --> 00:09:04.979
Hence the Seesaw effect.
00:09:05.928 --> 00:09:08.509
You're never going to be at inbox zero in your life.
00:09:08.629 --> 00:09:09.948
You're never going to get there.
00:09:10.759 --> 00:09:15.048
So with the Seesaw effect, whatever it is that you're doing.
00:09:15.928 --> 00:09:18.208
Whatever that the top part of the Seesaw.
00:09:18.629 --> 00:09:20.609
You be in the moment hundred percent.
00:09:21.458 --> 00:09:22.389
In the moment.
00:09:23.979 --> 00:09:24.969
And then you walk away from it.
00:09:25.918 --> 00:09:28.168
Your first priority in your see saw effect.
00:09:29.519 --> 00:09:30.839
Should be taken care of yourself.
00:09:30.958 --> 00:09:34.499
You come first, you gotta put yourself first because if you put yourself first.
00:09:34.948 --> 00:09:37.139
Everybody else gets the best representation of you.
00:09:37.499 --> 00:09:39.599
See if you're not prioritizing yourself.
00:09:40.109 --> 00:09:41.759
Everybody gets the sloppy leftovers.
00:09:42.749 --> 00:09:45.149
Everyone and everything suffers.
00:09:45.328 --> 00:09:46.798
The quality's not there.
00:09:47.668 --> 00:09:50.879
So, if you take care of you first, you wake up at a set time.
00:09:51.149 --> 00:09:52.499
You budget that time.
00:09:52.769 --> 00:09:53.879
To take care of you.
00:09:54.538 --> 00:09:56.009
And what I would challenge you.
00:09:56.698 --> 00:09:58.528
And the things that have worked well for me.
00:09:59.578 --> 00:10:02.308
Is writing at least one page every day.
00:10:02.609 --> 00:10:05.339
It's some random reading, 10 to 15 minutes.
00:10:05.849 --> 00:10:07.019
It's working out.
00:10:07.528 --> 00:10:08.938
It's sharing something.
00:10:09.178 --> 00:10:12.989
Everybody's a bad-ass, it's something everybody's an expert at something.
00:10:13.198 --> 00:10:14.188
Share something, man.
00:10:14.188 --> 00:10:14.969
What works for you?
00:10:14.969 --> 00:10:16.438
You don't have to preach to everybody.
00:10:16.828 --> 00:10:19.168
Just share with us something that works for you.
00:10:19.528 --> 00:10:22.948
If you're a mechanic, if you're a writer, if you're a cook.
00:10:23.519 --> 00:10:31.109
If you specialize in these 10 minute meals, man, share that, whatever it is and you'll feel better, man, because you're contributing to society.
00:10:31.818 --> 00:10:36.129
So doing these things, these are the lead dominoes, writing.
00:10:36.639 --> 00:10:40.359
It's unschooling your thoughts, reading, getting something new in there.
00:10:41.349 --> 00:10:44.918
If it's an unfamiliar subject, maybe you're kind of dabbling in AI.
00:10:44.918 --> 00:10:45.879
You can dabble in it.
00:10:45.879 --> 00:10:46.749
10, 15 minutes.
00:10:46.749 --> 00:10:47.499
Just feed it.
00:10:47.889 --> 00:10:50.678
You may trigger some sort of spark and run with it from there.
00:10:50.678 --> 00:10:51.278
If not.
00:10:51.788 --> 00:10:53.109
Tomorrow's a new book.
00:10:53.198 --> 00:10:53.859
Cool.
00:10:54.158 --> 00:10:56.469
And then working out, man, bust a sweat every single day.
00:10:56.469 --> 00:10:58.028
This is going to work out some of that tension.
00:10:58.239 --> 00:11:00.278
You're going to start looking and feeling better.
00:11:00.908 --> 00:11:04.778
And you, if you've do this in the mornings, You've already won the day.
00:11:04.778 --> 00:11:07.869
No matter how hell is your day goes, you're good to go.
00:11:08.818 --> 00:11:12.298
So with the Seesaw effect, Uh, wake up at a set time.
00:11:12.509 --> 00:11:13.288
I write.
00:11:13.859 --> 00:11:14.609
A read.
00:11:15.788 --> 00:11:16.619
try to record.
00:11:18.568 --> 00:11:19.469
Uh, workout.
00:11:20.818 --> 00:11:21.688
Then I go to work.
00:11:22.528 --> 00:11:23.399
Dude, I'm there.
00:11:23.548 --> 00:11:24.688
10, 12 hours.
00:11:25.259 --> 00:11:27.479
When I'm at work, I'm a hundred percent there at work.
00:11:28.499 --> 00:11:29.788
And then when I get off.
00:11:30.328 --> 00:11:33.778
If nobody's home, I may can squeeze in a little extra session.
00:11:34.229 --> 00:11:36.869
Of working out, making it a little bit of reading done.
00:11:37.198 --> 00:11:39.208
I make an edit the podcast.
00:11:39.389 --> 00:11:40.019
Cool.
00:11:41.158 --> 00:11:41.938
Seesaw.
00:11:43.109 --> 00:11:46.198
And then when my family comes home, I'm there for them.
00:11:47.099 --> 00:11:48.149
This is a practice.
00:11:48.149 --> 00:11:50.099
This isn't something a set it and forget it.
00:11:51.119 --> 00:11:53.188
It simplifies the life's not easy.
00:11:53.578 --> 00:11:56.219
But you can't simplify it with the Seesaw effect.
00:11:57.149 --> 00:12:00.418
It is something that I'm going to have to consciously do.
00:12:00.879 --> 00:12:04.808
Case in point the other night, I was watching the mayor Kingstown new season.
00:12:05.048 --> 00:12:06.188
So I'm watching that.
00:12:06.668 --> 00:12:07.568
And my wife comes in.
00:12:07.568 --> 00:12:08.558
She starts talking.
00:12:09.548 --> 00:12:11.828
And instantly, I love the image of it.
00:12:12.788 --> 00:12:17.979
I saw the Seesaw, a pause the movie because I've been guilty, man, of trying to watch this.
00:12:18.609 --> 00:12:21.219
Watch this movie and have a conversation.
00:12:21.489 --> 00:12:23.558
He who chases two rabbits gets none.
00:12:24.038 --> 00:12:25.958
So I'm sitting there trying to listen to both.
00:12:26.198 --> 00:12:27.188
And what do I end up doing?
00:12:27.489 --> 00:12:29.318
I'm not giving her my full attention.
00:12:30.308 --> 00:12:32.019
And I didn't catch what's in the movie.
00:12:33.109 --> 00:12:34.458
With the Seesaw effect, man.
00:12:34.818 --> 00:12:37.428
I stopped and we had a great conversation.
00:12:37.908 --> 00:12:39.948
And what's great about streaming TV.
00:12:40.099 --> 00:12:41.328
You can always come back to it.
00:12:41.599 --> 00:12:43.068
Hell, I'll watch it in the shower.
00:12:44.448 --> 00:12:47.269
I put my iPad on the shower door.
00:12:47.839 --> 00:12:50.629
And I can take shower and watch the movie at the same time.
00:12:51.168 --> 00:12:51.979
Uh, so what's good about it.
00:12:52.958 --> 00:12:54.219
And I can always come back to that.
00:12:54.219 --> 00:12:56.019
So it prioritizes things.
00:12:56.798 --> 00:12:57.458
My health.
00:12:58.389 --> 00:12:59.288
My wellness.
00:12:59.798 --> 00:13:02.408
My spiritual life, my family, my work.
00:13:03.308 --> 00:13:05.649
The podcast, all of these things.
00:13:06.668 --> 00:13:08.769
And that image of the Seesaw it's what's going to help.
00:13:09.038 --> 00:13:10.058
Keep you focused.
00:13:10.749 --> 00:13:11.859
On what's important.
00:13:12.548 --> 00:13:13.658
And when you're in the moment.
00:13:14.139 --> 00:13:14.948
You're consistent.
00:13:15.339 --> 00:13:17.469
You're clear, you're building up the momentum.
00:13:18.099 --> 00:13:20.558
And you're not pulled in a thousand different directions.
00:13:21.249 --> 00:13:22.989
You just silo it off.
00:13:23.168 --> 00:13:24.068
It's a session.
00:13:24.188 --> 00:13:24.938
Get it done.
00:13:25.509 --> 00:13:26.558
And then go to the next thing.
00:13:26.558 --> 00:13:27.429
So that way.
00:13:28.328 --> 00:13:29.649
It's being fully present.
00:13:30.158 --> 00:13:31.839
For the things that matter most.
00:13:32.739 --> 00:13:37.269
So that's what I'm working on this week to be more focused, to be more present.
00:13:37.808 --> 00:13:38.499
It's tough.
00:13:39.429 --> 00:13:40.239
But it's doable.
00:13:41.259 --> 00:13:42.548
And it's damn sure worth it.
00:13:43.269 --> 00:13:44.288
All right, let's get out of here.
00:13:44.318 --> 00:13:45.729
Thanks for sharing today's episode.
00:13:45.729 --> 00:13:47.528
Please share this with someone who needs it.
00:13:47.859 --> 00:13:50.019
This will help grow and power the show.
00:13:50.229 --> 00:13:53.198
Also, if you have not done so leave a rating and review.
00:13:53.619 --> 00:13:54.429
Let me know.
00:13:54.969 --> 00:13:59.739
And let others know what this episode or other episodes.
00:14:00.308 --> 00:14:01.328
Of what your problem.
00:14:01.568 --> 00:14:02.349
Have meant to you.
00:14:02.769 --> 00:14:03.129
All right.
00:14:03.129 --> 00:14:03.729
Let's get out of here.
00:14:03.759 --> 00:14:04.419
Keep it simple.
00:14:04.419 --> 00:14:05.078
Keep it moving.
00:14:05.078 --> 00:14:05.708
Never settle.
00:14:05.708 --> 00:14:06.818
Stay tough piece.