697. You Have Not Because You Ask Not. | How to get better at asking.

You have not because you ask not that's written and if you wanna get more outta life, you're gonna have to ask for it. And if you're like most people. Most people don't ask because it sets 'em up for rejection Today on the sales life. I'm gonna show you how to get better at asking. And you'll increase your confidence by learning how to become familiar with the rejection and not freeze up. And even if you're rejected as a bonus, I'm gonna show you how it's a win either way that it goes no matter what the outcome is, but before we roll out with today's episode, allow me to introduce myself. My name is marsh spice and I'm the host of the sales life. And I created the sales life because sales is the only profession that so closely resembles life. One minute, you're on top of the world. The next minute, the world's rolling back on top of you and whether by profession or in life, somehow some way, no matter what. You gotta figure it out. Selling is the number one life skill. Because it teaches you how to embrace uncertainty and be ready for anything. And it's a skill that you can transfer into every area of your life. Effective selling uses five core skills, communication, curiosity, creativity, continuous learning, and action and productive confrontation. These are skills you already have within now. I'm gonna help you develop 'em so you'll never go without, so whether you're trying to get back up off the mat after life has slapped you down, are you trying to move up? Because life has stalled you out. If you wanna have more, do more, be more. You gonna have to learn to sell more. I'm glad to be back here with you. If this is your first time here, be sure and subscribe to the show. If you've been here a time or 10, welcome back. And the moment we've all been waiting for, let's get better at asking, asking is a muscle. The more you flex it, the stronger you get, but see, most people have become weakened in life. Not because of the rejection because of the fear of rejection. They're scared of being left vulnerable. And so they would rather assume a no than hear or no. Because they see the rejection as personal and not a part of the process. See, when they ask and they're rejected, they see it as a sense of validation of who they are instead of verification of what I do. See if you can learn the power of the ask and seeing it more. So as a process of verifying your level of interest. Verifying. If I'm equipped right now, or if there's something more I need to do verifying the options. If you could just see it as that. I mean, just think about that. How much more, so does the world open up for you from there? Arnold Schwarzenegger said the key to his success is reps, reps, reps. It's one of my favorite quotes. The key to your success is ask, ask, ask. So the more you flex it, the stronger you get at it. Arnold Schwarzenegger took the mentality that he had in the gym reps, reps, reps, and he took it into every area of his life. And so the more he flexed the stronger he got became Mr. Olympia. One of the highest paid actors ever. And it's just continued to open up for 'em. Why reps, reps, so how do you get better at asking. Well, I'm glad you asked you get better at asking by putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. You do. It's pure and simple, and most people shy away from the uncomfortable situations because your mind works in patterns when you're. Difficult situations your mind says, no, remember last time, this didn't end up well for you. So get outta there and we shy away from those situations, but how will you get better at anything? If the moment you feel that tension and the, in the moment that you feel like that you're going to be rejected. you back away from it and you walk away and you assume that you already know the answer. So we're gonna spin this. And what I want you to do, this is super simple. It's not difficult, but if you want to unfair advantage in life, man, learn the power of the ask. And it's not asking with certainty. It's that three to five second window. That hesitation. When your mind quickly tries to negotiate with you, that you sit in attention and you ask before your mind even has a chance to even talk you out of it. You're moving forward. I'm gonna ask, because let me tell you this. What's the worst that can. Nothing. What's the best that can happen. Something, something more, but you've gotta learn to number one, subject yourself into these situations. And number two, you've gotta learn to become familiar when you're in these situations. Let me tell you something. After 24 years, man, I still am not comfortable with rejection. I'm not nobody is. So instead of thinking that one day, somehow some way you're gonna get used to it, you're never gonna get used to it. But you'll learn to be familiar with it. This is what, this is, what athletes do, athletes. When you watch them in, in, in moments seconds left to end the season or move on. They hit the game, winning shot. How are they able to do that? They're able to do that because they put themselves in familiar situations. So in every moment they can, even though they feel the fear, they do it anyway, and they become familiar with it. Not that. They're not nervous. Of course they are. Not that they don't realize that the whole world is watching them. They see that, but they're so familiar with it that they've actually strengthened along the way, see the shots and the situations they were in, in high school. Is not the same as it is when they're in the pros, it's not the same, but see, along the way in high school, they asked for the ball, they asked for those situations, they put themselves in those situations. And so they developed a strength because they kept loading the bar. They kept adding tension. And that's what you have to do. People are weaker, not because you ask you're weaker because you ask not. You don't wanna leave yourself wide open for this vulnerability, but that's where the strength comes from. It's sitting in there understanding it's a 50, 50 shot. It's a 20/80 shot. I don't know. It doesn't matter what the odds are. What matters is that you feel it and you do it anyway, because I would rather have the momentary feeling of rejection than the live with the monument of regrets, because I didn't ask because I wondered, Hmm. What if I don't want you to, what if your life, I don't want you to say God. I wonder what things would've been like you'll never know. You have not because you asked not. So lemme tell you how this whole switch turns for you. Now. You see. I gotta get stronger. The only way I'm gonna get stronger is by subjecting myself to the feeling of weakness. You're not weak. It's so counterintuitive. Everybody thinks that they get weaker. No, you can actually get stronger. If you can learn to do what everybody else is not doing. It's a game changer. It'll change your whole. So now you realize the power of the ask. Now you realize that there's that three to five second window. When life quickly tries to negotiate with you before your mind even gives you a chance to talk you out of it. Boom. Do it. And let me tell you the win-win situation to it all. If you ask and you're rejected, it's a win, it's still a win because number one, I have no regrets. I know for sure. I didn't assume. I know. Number two. I ask and I'm rejected. I verify level of interest, hot buttons opportunities. O other ways I need to learn. Okay, well, I'm not ready yet. Okay. What are the things I wouldn't have known? Had I not asked? You're not qualified. Why? See this, this all comes from the power of asking so many people shrink into the graveyard. They're smaller than when they started because of that. It's crazy. I wanna plot. That's not big enough to even fit me in the ground. that's, that's the power of asking you wanna get bigger in life? Not smaller. I wanna shrink up. It's asking. So I ask, I get rejected. I verify it, I'm using it as verification. It's part of the process, nothing personal. I make the adjustments that's a win. Those are all wins. You tell you the last win. The most important win is because I get familiar with it. I don't freeze up like everybody else. 99.9% of people freeze up and they fly away. But see, when you flex the ask muscle and you get better at it, you're more familiar and you're able to stand there where everybody else is running for the Hills. Everybody else runs off. You're standing there. You're bold. You're confident your body language says that you're able to answer questions and not crack. Your voice is strong. You don't have any up speech where you kind, I was thinking, no, you get better at those things. And this is where exceptions get made for you. Because you're standing there and you're confident and you're bold. They say, you know, I don't, I don't normally do this, but I'm gonna make an exception for you. I don't know why I'm doing it. Let's give it a try. It's all because you asked Let me end with this. You won't lose your life from asking, but you will lose your living. From not asking, living a rich, colorful, powerful life full of opportunities. If you want more, you gotta ask more. Thanks so much for being a part of the sales life. For more on the sales life. Check out marshbuice.com that's M a R S H B U I C E. And there is Homebase for all the blogs, the videos, the podcasts, and also on the bottom, right. Is a mic from you to me, let me know what's going on in your world and how I can help. I'm no hair, but I'm all ears. Remember the greatest sale that you will ever make is to sell you on you because you're more than enough. Stay amazing. Stay in the sales life.