When you try to control everything, you end up hitting nothing. Some things are outside of your control. Try to steer a baseball after you throw it by leaning left and right-impossible, yet that’s what you do in your own life. Targets are necessary, but it’s what you become in the processes that you develop on the way to that target that is most important. This is why you have to be, “Easy to teach and difficult to discourage,” not the other way around.
If you want to lose weight, start a podcast, boost your sales career, or build a nest egg, this episode will help you set the target, but work a mission.
Shout out to Ryan Holiday’s book, “Stillness Is The Key.”
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Learn the #1 life skill to never settle and be ready for anything. You don’t have to be in sales to learn how to sell. 5 skills that you already have within, I’ll help you develop them so you never again be without. Join The Sales Life today. www.marshbuice.com
When you try to control everything, you end up hitting nothing. Some things are outside of your control. Try to steer a baseball after you throw it by leaning left and right. It's impossible yet. That's what you do in your own life targets are necessary, but it's what you become in the process is that you develop on the way to that target that are more important. This is why you have to be easy to teach in difficult to discourage. Not the other way around. If you want to lose weight, start a podcast, boost your sales career, or build a nest egg. This snippet from episode 4 29 will help you set the target, but work a mission. Shout out to Ryan holiday's book. Stillness is the key. I'm your host Marsh Buice and this is The Sales Life. And if you join the sales life, you're going to learn the number one life skill to never settle and be ready for anything. So you don't have to be in sales to learn how to sell. There are five skills that you already have within now. I'll help you develop them. So you'll never go without, and the beautiful thing is no one can ever, ever, ever take these skills away from you. So if you want to have more, do more, be more than say no more. Let's get on with today's episode. how many times have you. Had a specific result in mind, whether it's an income goal, whether it's a debt reduction, whether it's a weight loss goal, whether it's a sales goal, whatever it is you had, you had a specific timeframe and you wanted to hit those things. You saw the time ticking down, the harder you focused on those things, the worse it got. It's almost like if you went to a bating cage with your friends, And you try to show off and bet you're going to crush the ball and the harder you try to swinging the ball, the more you don't connect to the ball at all are if I go play golf, which is why I don't play golf is because when I get on that tee box, I'm a big dude. So I'm not trying to come off of this routine. Uh, flop of a, of a, of a tee shot. I'm six, three, man. I got something to prove. And so obviously, man, I want to get up on that tee box and crush the ball. But every time man, I'd stepped to the tee box and tried to crush the ball. I'm yelling at someone else over there on a whole nother tee box, telling him to get the hell out of the way, because my shot is coming down their way. Cause it slices the harder you try to. Knock the cover off the ball. Then the harder you try to hit a specific target in a specific timeframe, the worse it actually gets for you. It's what holiday calls the willful will. And the willful will is, , where you're trying to control everything, man. It's where you try to, control the direct result in the direct timeframe, um, and a specific. Outcome, you try to steer all of those things. And you're so obsessed with the result at this timeframe that when it doesn't happen, or as it rolls out. It's look like it, that you totally off base that it's never going to happen. You end up giving up. If you're so rigid, so tightly to a direct result you're probably going to miss the mark, but if you hold loosely to a direct result to a target , and redirect your energy, not at the target, not at the specific result, but more so on developing your form. You're going to find that the, um, the process is more. Enjoyable it's more collaborative and will actually come faster than you actually think. And this is a great paradox. This is why most people won't really embrace this, but, , I've seen this happen in my own life where it's surrendering to the results, but what it is is it's embracing the process and actually, , so keyed in, on developing, The form it, because it's, it's kinda like this. It's like shooting an arrow, but then once it releases from your hands, once it releases from the string. Then you're trying to steer the arrow, right? Or it's like bowling, man, when you, when you bowl and you let go of the ball, then all of a sudden you're trying to lean left and right. Trying to steer the ball do there. Ain't nothing you can do. It's already gone. So what this basically means is letting go means. Yes, you set a target, but then you read that target is there, but it's not the obsession that you have at the target. It's actually redirecting all of your energies toward developing your form. It's embracing the process and the results will come. When the results are ready to results will come as a natural byproduct to you developing your form when you're, when you're. Focused on developing your form. Then what happens is, you become difficult to teach and easily discouraged. Let me say that again. When you're so rigid on a specific result. And you're not embracing the process. You become difficult to teach and easy to discourage when actually it should be the other way around. You should be easy to teach difficult to discourage and think about someone that has maybe you're mentoring or maybe your sales manager, or maybe, you know, you just, even in your own life the times when you said, okay, so let's just take a salesperson. We won't sell 30 cars. The more obsessed he is with selling that 30 cars. Is he very easy to coach? In most times, no, because what happens is, is they go through the mud, they go through the difficult process. And as they're going through the mud, they're not very easy to, to, to teach. Right. You're not very easy to, to, to coach. You're actually not even flexible in thought, because what you're doing is you're saying, man, I got to get this. I gotta get this time for him. I got to get this outcome. It's got to happen now. And so what happens is, as you drown out, All of the lessons that are right there trying to teach you. And some of the teaching that you've got to go through, dude is the experience. I was talking to one of my salesmen the other day, man, I said, dude, I know you want to win, but you also have to learn how to handle a loss because how you handle a loss determines on how much you will, you'll be able to win. And when you win again, but if you're not able to handle the losses, if you're not able to handle. , the process, then you won't be able to achieve exponential results because you're, you're not open. You're not flexible. You're not letting anybody pour into you. And so when I try to give you some sort of advice, or when, when you're not getting the weight loss goal in time, or your savings in line. And you see that the sand is going out of the hourglass, what happens? You, you become. Paranoid you think everybody's out to get you, you think, somehow the world has conspired out of 7 billion people to just totally just, yeah. I'm gonna pick on Marsh today- Sometimes the wins are in the losses. Sometimes it's just part of the process that you have to do. It's not all going to sync up all the time sometimes to sticking your key in the lock and you got to jiggle the lock for a little while. It's the right key. It fits that lock, but it's not unlocking it. You know, those old locks, when you, when you know, you've got an old house or whatever, and you got to jiggle the lock a little bit and you did let around and you jiggle it around and finally the damn door opens up. And, and so it's learning how to stick that key in that rusty lock and figure out how to unlock it. And then you, you take somebody who's got that kind of experience with that lock and they take that old key and they stick it in there and like, In like three shakes, man, that can get it unlocked where it took you 30 minutes. That's the kind of stuff I'm talking about, man. Sometimes dude, you don't know how to unlock the lock yet because you've got the key, you've got the lock, it all synchronized. It all fits. It's all cut for that, but it's not ready to be unlocked yet because you still have to figure out part of the process. This is why you've got to become easy to teach difficult to be discouraged, not the other way around. If you're bringing your previous experience, your previous know-how into what you're trying to change. You're trying to grow something. If you're bringing just past experience, but you're not open to new experience, then dude, you're never going to get it. You're it's never going to happen for you because you become difficult to teach, but you actually, you close your mind. You close your eyes. You're not interested in here in any way. You're not collaborative. And so you're close to that thought and you're easily discouraged. And then that's when you just, that's why you bang around an average. That's why you bang around and you seem to always be right a step below or maybe half a step above. Where you currently are, are you just give up all altogether? You got to surrender to the results. It wasn't until I surrender to the results, did I actually. Achieve my weight loss. So everything I read was, you know, you should be able to an average person loses two pounds a week. Well, there's four weeks in a month. So it's eight pounds. Well, it's close to 10. So might as well set the target at 10. Right? And so you set out. In the first week, dude, you're full of piss and vinegar, right? You're all optimistic and you lose three pounds, but then the following week, man, life actually kicks back in. So you, you got bad weather outside, you weren't feeling good. You had some other issues come up at work and at home. And so you to be 1000% own fire that week. It was a tough week for you. And then you get on the scale and you, and you realize that now only did you give the three pounds back, but you gained four pounds and then what happens? You get pissed off. You say, you know what, it's just, nobody's here to support me. I got to do this all on my own. I can't afford the right meals. And so screw it. And so you just stay. C and that's what was happening for me. It was do, there were times that I said, I actually just succumb to it. And I said, look, I'm six, three. So I'll just be 270 pounds for the rest of my life. You know, I'm not 300, so it's not that bad. And I'm a big guy. So I'll just walk around looking like a bouncer off. No dude, I looked like Doughboy. And so it wasn't until I surrendered into two. The results were until, as my timeframe, uh, you know, you've heard me say that time and time again, but in tool has to be your timeframe. And when you surrender to the results, when I surrendered to the results was when I said I didn't care about the two pounds per week. What I did is I just. Embrace the process. I worked on developing my form and developing my form was finding different things, different exercises at different times that worked best for me. I knew the only thing that was a constant that nobody would get in my way, it would be five o'clock in the mornings. That was the only time that family didn't get my way, the job didn't get my way. So five o'clock in the morning, nothing got in my way. And so I worked on showing up consistently, and then what I worked on is developing your form and then developing your form also is figuring out other times. So there were times when my son was playing sports that at half. When they were in the end zone, getting coached up, I would actually go out in the parking lot. I had my jump rope with me. I would go out in the parking lot full clothes and all it didn't matter. And knock out 10 minutes of jump ropes. I parked in the corner of the parking lot. I'm sure people that were looking for a parking space thought I was crazy. Big six foot, three guy, 270 pounds jumping up and down on a jump rope. But I found the little slivers of time. There were times, dude, I put on a YouTube video in the parking lot, 10 minutes and knocked out a little, a little thing. It's, you know, I could sit there and eat popcorn or halftime or I could run out in the parking lot and do those things. It was finding out the times that when I got home, I could, I could do 10, 15, 20 minutes of something, busting a sweat, every single day. Developing my form was also figuring out what foods worked good for me that I really enjoyed to eat. And I could eat maybe a little bit more than what I was supposed to, but it was still a clean food then that was developing my form and then exercises. Because I surrender to the results. I would see people in the gym actually working out and I would see some of those exercises. I said, let me try it. And I would go over there and ask them for advice. Or I would just try it out myself and work on developing that form. And I ended up finding new exercises. See that's when it was only, then when I wasn't Mr. You know, I got to lose 10 pounds this month. It wasn't until. Yeah, because that's when you're, you're difficult to teach easily discouraged is when you quit. When I just surrender to that and said, look, the weight loss is going to come when the weight loss comes, but it's not going to be because I don't do my part. Just work on your form. Marsh, just work on developing habits and forms and techniques. See part of the thing that you have to develop, man, is. And that persistence and, and, um, that consistency, um, it's, it's developing that, that smoothness it's it's. I think how smooth you are when you're really trying to get a specific result at a specific time. You're so rigid, dude. You're so locked up. You're so stressed out, which then you drink too much. And then after that, then you eat too much. And then the, the vicious cycle continues all, man. See, it's that rigidity that you talking about? Anything, that if you really think back to all the times where you have quit on own on results. The times did you quit was because you were so rigid in a specific outcome. And what I want you to do is yes, set a target, but hold loosely to those things and then focus more so on developing your form, I get the fact that you want to be a top producer. I get the fact that you want to get out of debt or save money or, um, or, or lose a certain amount of weight. I get all that. And that, that is all wonderful, but you've got to learn to have that stillness toward the specific result. And then also back up a little bit and, and just focus on developing your form. Holiday uses an art. Um, archery. I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to say it, but he's using, uh, an archery metaphor where he says, and the archery teacher tells his students. When you hit the target keeps shooting as if nothing happened. And when you miss the target, don't ask, keep practicing. So many times when we don't hit the target, when we're not getting it fast enough, you got to keep putting in the reps, stop all the advice, man. Sometimes you've the only advice you need is to keep shooting is to just draw out another arrow put it in your quiver and then release in, see where it lands. Look at how you develop the form. What was the whole setup in that whole thing, and then fire out again in your sales career, if you're not getting the results that you want, sometimes what it is is, is drawn another arrow. One of my salespeople right now, , he's like I said, he's going through the mud. And he had a great month last month and he's having a terrible month this month. And what I told him the other day, he said, man, marsh, when is, when is this going to change? I said, you know what, bro? I don't know. I have no idea. You got to keep shooting. And so sometimes that's what you have to do on your target, your weight loss, your, your, your, your money goals, whatever some days, dude, it means. You keep shooting and somewhere along the way, it's going to sync up somewhere along the way the results are going to start coming, but the results will not come fast enough, if all you're doing is you're. So hell bent on the result, just work on developing your form. What could you have done different with that last customer? What could you have done with that last workout exercise? What could you have done this past week that would have. Helped you save money more are, uh, setting up your business what are those things that you can continue to develop the form? And I'm telling you, I'm living proof of it, that the results will come and they're going to come faster than you ever expected the results. From my weight loss, I had a seven month target. I hit the result when I surrendered to the results I hit the result in four months. And almost doubled it three months later in that seven month timeframe it's because at that point, dude, I didn't care anymore. I didn't care what the specific result was. I still had, I had it in mind. It's not that I didn't, you know, want something I did, but what I did is I set the target and then I worked on the mission and the mission was. Putting that key in that lock, juggling that lock a little bit more, developing my form, getting more expertise, not drawing on just my past experience, but also who else is banging it out there, man? Not that I get jealous of them by the. Can I take in some of those things, I copy some of those things I'll plan to my life and do it. I'm insatiable. I'm persisted. I'm gritty. I am nasty with it, man, because until this, my timeframe is still to the results. The results are going to come when the results in the comm. So what you need to be is you need to be obsessed with developing your form, embracing the steps, the process, and become easy to teach. And dammit, difficult to discourage. Thanks so much for listening to today's episode. You want more? I got you covered head over to the home of the sales life. Go to the sales life.me. That's thesaleslife.me and the top right. Are links to all the socials where I hang out and in the bottom, right. Is a microphone from you. To me, leave me a message. Let me know what's going on in your world and how it can help. I'm no hair, but I'm all ears while you're there. Enjoy thousands of free resources from blogs to podcasts and also a link to the YouTube sales life channel. Never settle. Keep selling stay sales life.