681. "Just Say It!" Get More By Eliminating Diminishing Language feat. Zoe Chance

Today. I'm going to show you how to eliminate the use of diminishing language and start creating some confidence using the book, "Influence Is Your Superpower," by Zoe Chance. You're listening to The Sales Life a top 5% podcasts in the world. I'm your host Marsh Buice and the sales life is taking the skills that I've learned in over two decades of the sales profession. And I'll show you how to apply those to every area of your life. Those skills are communication. Curiosity creativity, continuous learning and productive confrontation. So that way you never settle and keep selling your way through life. So if you want to have more, do more, be more than say no more. Let's get on with today's episode, episode 6 81 and diminishing language. First of all, let's break that down. What does that even mean? Diminishing language is used when you feel there's an imbalance of power or status writes Chance. And all of us have used diminishing language. You may call it beating around the Bush, but see it's verbal clutter that you use when you feel intimidated by the other person or the situation, or when you just lack confidence. And we use diminishing language in many different ways. We'll preface something with, before we make a statement, we say, you know, I could be wrong, but I thought maybe can I ask a stupid question? Kind of, sort of, I mean, you're probably laughing to yourself as you, as you hear these words, because we've all used them. Oftentimes because when you lack confidence, you have a lot of ups speak and ups speak is where you turn a statement into a question you start off with. It should have been a statement altogether, a statement of confidence. But instead you say, I was thinking maybe we could get together next Saturday. It's up speak. I mean, and it's so puny in speech . That of course people just quit. They just slap you aside. They just move alone. Are diminishing language is also filled with a bunch of "Im' sorry's." Think of how often you say I'm sorry. Like the other day, man, I was at the gym. A guy was standing in line to fill up my water bottle and the guy in front of me was filling up his water bottle. And what did he do when he realized that was behind him? He turned around now I'm a big guy, but he turned around and immediately he said,"I'm sorry," Sorry for what? I mean, you're filling up a water bottle. Just like me. You have every right to be there, just like I do, but think how, how often we say, um, sorry, when it's so unnecessary and what that does, is it thin slices, your confidence it's diminishing language. So when you preface things with a bunch of unnecessary, I'm sorry, you drop yourself down another level. Chances words, diminishing language is hard to listen to and easy to interrupt and it forces the other party to have to decode what it is that you're asking. So, because you lack confidence because it's confusing. People just shut you down. It just like you're a crumb on a counter. They just flick you off. And they default to no, , which is why you just, you lack power and you like, man, they never, you know, it was like, my voice has no bearing in this situation because , every time you open your mouth in a meeting, It's diminishing language. You preface it with, you know, I could be wrong. Can I ask a stupid question done? And when people of power are listening to you, when you preface with diminishing language, they're going to shut you down immediately. Diminishing language puts the emphasis on you and your past. And when I say it puts an emphasis on you, you're worried about how you look. I don't want to look stupid in front of these other people. What if they say no, or maybe you've had a string of bad luck. So what you'll do is you'll just pad the message and you set yourself up for more rejection, but there's a fix for all this. There's an app for that. It's three words and a mindset. This is what's beautiful about reading. This is what's beautiful about sharing something that Zoe chance wrote. I love being able to share this cause there's a simple fix and everything's going to turn around for you. Three words & a mindset, just say it and focus on the other person. And the future, what's the next step? That's it? No more of prefacing something with, you know, I could be wrong, you know, dude, that goes without saying like someone needs permission from you saying, you know, I could be wrong. No, believe me, if you're wrong, they're going to correct you. Your words that you use should spark curiosity and ask a clear question. I mean, what's the worst that could happen. Why pad it with confusing language and many times think about when you're on a roll, you don't really use any diminishing language, right? Because what you're doing is, it's a continuation of what's already been happening. So think about the mindset of when you're on a heater, when you're just. Boiling over with confidence. You expect future the next person them to say, yes, you expect it. Everybody else has already said it. And so you're not even considering you. You're not even thinking about how you look, you don't care because you just, I mean, it's, it's just a, a roll. You got a roll. Give me some butter. You're on a roll. And you expect the future to continue on with a string of yeses. And as I'm sitting here thinking about diminishing language, the biggest problem, man, is it opens up negotiations in your own head so instead of being focused on the other person and the future, the next step you're negotiating with yourself. And telling yourself no. Before you even give the other party, the chance to even say yes. So the way that you're going to eliminate diminishing language is I want you to have the mental analogy of rip the band-aid off. Right. You know, when you were young and you like slowly pulled a band-aid. Oh, it hurt, but when somebody else just came along and it just ripped it right off, it was done. And that's what I want you to do. Quick pull. Focus on the other person & the future, using statements. Like here's a crazy idea Coming off of a no, you say I got it. Here's what's gonna work better for you. Oh, today's not a good day for you. Well, I have an opening on Tuesday or Thursday at nine o'clock, which one of those works better. I'd like to add you to my contacts. What's your phone number? When you focus on the other person in the future, everything's going to change for you. Let me tell you something, man. You replay, this is often as new. You eliminate diminishing language upspeak unnecessary No's everything in your life is going to change for you from asking for a discount, an upgrade, or asking the client for the business. Because every ask everything that you do is based on the other person. and the future. Think about how freeing that is. Just that one statement. Everything I do see, I don't negotiate with myself anymore. I don't let the elevator go all the way at the top. What if they say no? Well, I don't know. I hear this all the time on when my salespeople are making phone calls, they, they is so much diminishing language and get right to the point, focus on the other person & the future. If you're trying to build a business focused on the other person, And the future. If you're asking for an upgrade, if you're asking for a discount focus on the other person and the future, you've been so helpful in all of this, may I have a 20% discount? Thank you so much for checking us in. May I have an upgrade. What's the worst thing you can say. And as I was creating this episode, man, I think. Asking for future guests. If I reach out to Zoe chance, you damn right. I'm not going to use any diminishing language. I'm going to tell her what I liked about her book. And I'd love for you to be able to come on. Can we get together on a future date? Just ask. I've had many young managers walk into my office. And the walk in and say, Hey, you know, this is above my pay grade, but I've had to stop them. Don't say that anymore because I may have more experience than you, but you have a better idea, but I would never hear that idea. If you come in, pulling your punch saying, you know, I, I could be wrong. Just don't do it for me. For me and the podcast. Would you please rate the show? How many stars would you give? Would you leave a review? What do you get from the podcast? What has helped you specifically in one episode? That's what I need instead of tap dancing around. When I post something on social media, Hey, just in case you missed it, but that's all diminishing language, I've got a killer episode for you. If you lack confidence, here's the one. If you find that you can't overcome the reject. Got a perfect episode for you. Listen in watching the videos, subscribe to my YouTube channel. You're going to get something for it. I'm telling you, I'm asking you to, because I know what it's going to do for you because I know what it's done for me. So subscribe to it, check it out, watch it on your own time. Just be there. See it's eliminating diminishing language. I think many times we ask questions that resonate with either I don't belong or I'm not worthy and both are bullshit. And for me to go higher. That means I got to start stepping into bigger rooms, bigger people with bigger minds, bigger ideas. And I can't walk in there using diminishing language, not going to work, not going to work. I belong I'm worthy and you are. So here's your TSL, never settle. Keep selling question goes without saying, but I want you to walk away from this and answer this in your own life. Where can you spot diminishing language and your relationships and also your career, maybe even in your creatives. Quick, fix three words, one mindset. Just say it in as few words as possible. And the words that you use, make sure they're focused on the other person & the future and not how you may look, how you may feel. And not on you feel nor the past, past is already written the future's yet to be written. Go write it. Go to thesaleslife.me and there you will find thousands of resources, videos, blogs, and of course podcasts and the bottom right. Is a mic. And that microphone is a direct link from you to me, let me know what's going on in your life. Let me know what you would like to hear on future episodes and how can I make this show better for you? I'm no hair, but I'm all ears. So let's get outta here. Remember the greatest sale that you will ever make is to sell you on. You never settle. Keep selling, stay in the sales life.