1021. "AND" Is The Price You Pay For The Life You Want

All right, three, two, one, let's get it. And is the price that you pay to live the life that you want. Okay? If you don't go any further in this episode, you can stop right there, have a nice day. If you wanna know what the hell I'm talking about, I'm gonna give it to you right now. Pro tip, before I get into this, because this is what exactly happened to me. As you guys know, I do random reading every single day. Love random reading. And so what I do is, everybody together with me who's been rocking with me for a long time, I pick a random book off the shelf, I go to the table of contents, whatever the chapter jumps out there at me, that's the chapter I read. I set my timer for 15 minutes. When the timer is up, I write about it. I write about what I, what my reflection is on it. Okay, how do I see it? And it may be totally different than how the author i- intended it. And then I go live it. It's that simple, and I do this every single day. Most people don't like to read, and so I say, "Hey, try random reading. You don't have to read a book cover to cover, just pick a random book," like what I said. Now, let me tell you something that's a little bit different that you may find even more beneficial, and this is a pro tip for you. There are some people who like to have Kindle, and there are some people who like the audiobooks. Okay? You can have the best of both worlds, and some people, if you really wanna learn deeper, Alex Hormozi talks about this too, if you really wanna learn deeper, you can buy the digital book and the audiobook and follow along while it's reading to you. So I like it because you can actually get on the treadmill and listen along, and then you read the words. The wor- the words are important because they, you actually soak in more than what you, than what you think. Now, here's something that is a little bit deeper for you. The podcast, Apple does this, I don't know if Spotify does 'cause I don't listen to Spotify, but on Apple, the transcripts to the episodes are already there. Bottom left-hand corner. If you wanted to, to follow along, like the audiobook and Kindle book, then you can actually look at it that way and the words are on the page. But in the top right-hand corner is the transcript where you can actually look up words. This is really cool because if there's a favorite podcast that you listen to, but you don't wanna go back through and listen to the whole episode or can't figure out where that is, you can actually search for key phrases, and it'll show you all those key phrases, just like what you would do in a Kindle book, and then you can read that one section. I will tell you this, when you read these words and then write them, they are going to hit different. This is why I, this is why I'm a fan of random reading, is because… So it, it's, it's good that you listen, and a lot of people like to listen to audiobooks and stuff like that. It's better when you read. It's best when you do all of those things and/or both, whatever, and then you write about it. Because when you write something down, it is going- the words are gonna hit different, because you're writing and you, you will actually see the words differently. That's what's super cool about this. I can, I can tell you about it, you can only experience it, but I'm telling you, begin to write down phrases that, like, jump out there at you. Like, "Oh, that's a cool quote." Instead of, like, going to X or posting something cute on Instagram to make it sound like you're all smart, write that phrase down, and then what does it mean to you? Why am I saying all this? Let me tell you. This is what happened today to me, and I like to share about things only that I'm experiencing anyway. So I never got to random reading, quote, quote, a- air quotes, because as I was walking the dogs this morning, I was listening to Cody Sanchez and Seth Godin. Seth Godin was, was, uh, was on her podcast, and he's talking about the dichotomy between buts- And ands. And it is a complete game changer,'cause Seth Godin said, "Think about how many buts that you carry around in your life right now," and you probably don't even realize it. See, what happens is, is, well, let me, let me put it to you like this. Have you ever said something, uh, you know, you're talking to somebody and you're like, "I love you, but…" Well, the buts negate everything, right? It just totally washes out everything that you just said going into it. It's kind of the same thing what we're doing in our lives. So we say something that we want, but we negate it. So you say you wanna get in better shape, but I can't do that because the kids are back in school, I gotta run them back and forth to practice, I'm a single parent, nobody else is there to help me. So we don't go to the gym, okay? Well, I, I need to pay off my credit card debt, but I wanna eat out and drink because I just, you know, my job's just taxing me, and I just don't like to cook at night, and so we're gonna do that. Another thing, you know, I wanna s- I wanna make 20 grand a month, but I'm not, I'm not trying to do all that extra work. I just, I just wanna come in, do the things I feel like doing, and then just head on home. It, it is impossible to have the results you want, but do the things you feel like doing. It, it… you just… And here is why, as I sat with this thought, Here is why you're frustrated, you're short-tempered, you're stuck, uh, it seems like every year you go from bad to worse. Here's why you're overweight. Here's why your credit card debt is high. All, D, all of the above. The reason being is, is because you are living conflicting lives. You say you want something, but y- you negate it. It's what you do. You, you give me the reasons why you can't seth Godin said this,"You have a choice to make." And that's what's beautiful about this. The, the and or the but is your choice. You have a choice to make. You can live with the buts and just accept the fact that it, it is what it is. Stop talking about it, 'cause think about how much emotional currency you talk about things that you say you need to do, or a life that you wanna live, but you're not willing to pay the price for it. This is why I say ands are the price that you pay to live the life that you want. So Seth said, look, you can just accept that. It's cool. No condemnation, no judgment, none of that. Just understand you gotta live with the consequences. You gotta be that way. So stop talking about you, you wanna be this size waist, and you're not there. Stop talking about you wanna be debt-free and, and hallelujah moments, and it's… You- you're not doing anything. Your behavior says otherwise, okay? So just live with your buts. Cool. It's your life, your one and only life, enjoy. Or you can move your buts to your ands. It's all you gotta do. So instead of saying I need to lose weight, but don't negate that. I need to say instead, "I need to lose weight, and I understand I'm gonna have to track my calories and I gotta get up earlier." Period. And get it done, I wanna be debt-free, pay off all my credit cards, and I understand I'm not gonna be able to eat out as much as I do, and Friday nights I'm just gonna have to skip 'em. Okay? That's the price you pay. I wanna make 20 grand a month, and I understand I gotta work a process, I gotta brave the sea of rejection, and I gotta put, stop taking a negative narrative to it, period. Get it done. Let me tell you something. D- I sound like Firemar- Marshall Bill from In Living Color."Let me tell you something." But let me tell you something, this is going to… The, the, the pain that you experience is only temporary. I would rather have the short-term pain than a lifelong regret, and that's what hap- when you live in your butts, you think that you have all this extra time. Bro, you're gonna pick your head up 20 years later, and you're gonna be like,"Oh, my God, what happened?" I was just telling a friend about this the other day. He's talking about retirement. I'm like, "Bro, what happened to our lives? Like, we were just in college, and now you're talking about retiring." I'm like, "What the hell happened?" That's what happens in your life. So if you're young listening to this, you better hear me well. So the short-term pain is, is heavy at first. Because the yesteryear catches up with you. That, that's what happens. You used to have it going on. You used to be debt-free. You used to be able to fit in these fine-ass pants and walk around with your shirt off and all that stuff. You used to look good naked, okay? You don't, you don't have… So when you first start rounding the corner, and you move from buts to ands, the voice of condemnation is going to be so high, and it is going to try to negotiate with you to accept the but. Do not. Buts open up negotiation. If you negotiate with yourself, you're gonna lose every single time. Ands reinforce the commitment. Stay with the ands. You don't have to pay the whole price today. You just, your dues are in your do. Just live in and. So don't nego- negate anything. Don't do anything that's going to reinforce a problem. Just continue to refine your skills. Initially, your emotions are gonna be high, like I said. You're gonna feel wonky. You're gonna feel tired. You're gonna feel achy. You're going to just, like, ain't nothing happening. Stay with it. Stay with the ands. As you do, you'll get into alignment. You'll think better. You'll feel better. You'll talk better, and let me tell you something. Your relationships will change because some of the people that reinforce the but kind of mentality, that y'all kind of drag each other down, and now you're not doing what you used to do with them, you're no fun no more. They're just going to distance themselves from you. And no shade on them. Like, if that's what they wanna do, one day they're gonna have to get it together, or they're just not gonna get it together at all, and that's the game over. I don't want the regrets anymore. And I'm not better than you. I'm just better for me. That's what you gotta do. You gotta live in the ands, and you're gonna distance yourself from those people. Hey, be cool with them. You're not better than them. You're better for you. And just keep working with the ands. The shift is so subtle. Like, there… We always think it's like, i- w- we always think something has to change drastically in life for things to get better in our lives, and that's not the case at all. You simply have to shift your mindset, and really it starts with the first words, and or but. Which one do you wanna live with? I wanna live with the and All right, let's get out of here. Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough. Peace