May 22, 2026

1004. You Have Not Because You Ask Not.

1004. You Have Not Because You Ask Not.

Send us Fan Mail This episode is a republish from episode 697 of What’s Your Problem? Podcast — and I wanted to bring it back because the message is too important to get buried. A lot of you are new listeners now, and even if you heard it the first time around, there’s a good chance you forgot some of the lessons that matter most. This episode is about the power of asking. Not just asking for a sale, a chance, an opportunity, or help — but learning how to push through the fear of rejection th...

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Send us Fan Mail

This episode is a republish from episode 697 of What’s Your Problem? Podcast — and I wanted to bring it back because the message is too important to get buried. A lot of you are new listeners now, and even if you heard it the first time around, there’s a good chance you forgot some of the lessons that matter most.

This episode is about the power of asking.

Not just asking for a sale, a chance, an opportunity, or help — but learning how to push through the fear of rejection that keeps most people stuck. We talk about why asking is a muscle, why rejection isn’t personal, and how confidence is built by putting yourself in uncomfortable situations instead of avoiding them.

I break down why most people don’t fail because they ask… they fail because they never ask in the first place. They assume the answer before ever giving life a chance to respond.

This one is about:

  • Building the “ask muscle.”
  • Becoming familiar with rejection instead of fearing it
  • Why vulnerability creates strength
  • The 3–5 second window where your mind tries to talk you out of growth
  • How boldness creates opportunities and exceptions
  • And why living with rejection hurts a lot less than living with regret

If you want more out of life, relationships, business, fitness, finances, or fulfillment… you’ve got to ask more.

Keep it simple, keep it moving, never settle, stay tough. Peace.

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Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough. 

asking is a muscle. The more you flex it, the stronger you get, but see, most people have become weakened in life. Not because of the rejection because of the fear of rejection. They're scared of being left vulnerable. And so they would rather assume a no than hear or no. Because they see the rejection as personal and not a part of the process. See, when they ask and they're rejected, they see it as a sense of validation of who they are instead of verification of what I do. See if you can learn the power of the ask and seeing it more. So as a process of verifying your level of interest. Verifying. If I'm equipped right now, or if there's something more I need to do verifying the options. If you could just see it as that. I mean, just think about that. How much more, so does the world open up for you from there? Arnold Schwarzenegger said the key to his success is reps, reps, reps. It's one of my favorite quotes. The key to your success is ask, ask, ask. So the more you flex it, the stronger you get at it. Arnold Schwarzenegger took the mentality that he had in the gym reps, reps, reps, and he took it into every area of his life. The more he flexed the stronger he got became Mr. Olympia. One of the highest paid actors ever. And it's just continued to open up for 'em. Why reps, reps, so how do you get better at asking. Well, I'm glad you asked you get better at asking by putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. You do. It's pure and simple, and most people shy away from the uncomfortable situations because your mind works in patterns when you're. Difficult situations your mind says, no, remember last time, this didn't end up well for you. So get outta there and we shy away from those situations, but how will you get better at anything? If the moment you feel that tension and the, in the moment that you feel like that you're going to be rejected. you back away from it and you walk away and you assume that you already know the answer. So we're gonna spin this. And what I want you to do, this is super simple. It's not difficult, but if you want to unfair advantage in life, man, learn the power of the ask. And it's not asking with certainty. It's that three to five second window. That hesitation. When your mind quickly tries to negotiate with you, that you sit in attention and you ask before your mind even has a chance to even talk you out of it. You're moving forward. I'm gonna ask, because let me tell you this. What's the worst that can. Nothing. What's the best that can happen. Something, something more, but you've gotta learn to number one, subject yourself into these situations. And number two, you've gotta learn to become familiar when you're in these situations. Let me tell you something. I still am not comfortable with rejection. I'm not nobody is. So instead of thinking that one day, somehow some way you're gonna get used to it, you're never gonna get used to it. But you'll learn to be familiar with it. This is, what athletes do, when you watch them in seconds left to end the season or move on. They hit the game, winning shot. How are they able to do that? They're able to do that because they put themselves in familiar situations. So in every moment they can, even though they feel the fear, they do it anyway, and they become familiar with it. Not that. They're not nervous. Of course they are. Not that they don't realize that the whole world is watching them. They see that, but they're so familiar with it that they've actually strengthened along the way, see the shots and the situations they were in, in high school. Is not the same as it is when they're in the pros, it's not the same, but see, along the way in high school, they asked for the ball, they put themselves in those situations. They developed a strength because they kept loading the bar. They kept adding tension. And that's what you have to do. People are weaker, not because you ask you're weaker because you ask not. You don't wanna leave yourself wide open for this vulnerability, but that's where the strength comes from. It's sitting in there understanding it's a 50, 50 shot. It's a 20/80 shot. I don't know. It doesn't matter what the odds are. What matters is that you feel it and you do it anyway, because I would rather have the momentary feeling of rejection than the live with the monument of regrets, because I didn't ask because I wondered, Hmm. What if I don't want you to, what if your life, I don't want you to say God. I wonder what things would've been like you'll never know. You have not because you asked not. So lemme tell you how this whole switch turns for you. Now. You see. I gotta get stronger. The only way I'm gonna get stronger is by subjecting myself to the feeling of weakness. You're not weak. It's so counterintuitive. Everybody thinks that they get weaker. No, you can actually get stronger. If you can learn to do what everybody else is not doing. It's a game changer. It'll change your whole. So now you realize the power of the ask. Now you realize that there's that three to five second window. When life quickly tries to negotiate with you before your mind even gives you a chance to talk you out of it. Boom. Do it. And let me tell you the win-win situation to it all. If you ask and you're rejected, it's a win, because number one, I have no regrets. I know for sure. I didn't assume. I know. Number two. I ask and I'm rejected. I verify level of interest, hot buttons opportunities. O other ways I need to learn. Okay, well, I'm not ready yet. I wouldn't have known? Had I not asked? You're not qualified. Why? See this, this all comes from the power of asking Those are all wins. Let me tell you the last win. The most important win I get familiar with it. I don't freeze up like everybody else. 99.9% of people freeze up and they fly away. But see, when you flex the ask muscle and you get better at it, you're more familiar and you're able to stand there where everybody else runs off. You're standing there. You're bold. You're confident your body language says that you're able to answer questions and not crack. And this is where exceptions get made for you. Because you're standing there and you're confident and you're bold. They say, you know, I don't, I don't normally do this, but I'm gonna make an exception for you. I don't know why I'm doing it. Let's give it a try. It's all because you asked Let me end with this. You won't lose your life from asking, but you will lose your living. From not asking, living a rich, colorful, powerful life full of opportunities. If you want more, you gotta ask more.