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Dec. 13, 2023

What's Your Problem? Uncertainty. | Losses & Wins. Good & Bad Times Need One Another.

What's Your Problem? Uncertainty. | Losses & Wins. Good & Bad Times Need One Another.

If you're in a slump, frustrated, and feel like giving up, or you're riding high, better days are coming & tough days are on the horizon. 

Reading from Haemin Sunim's book, "Love For Imperfect Things: How To Accept Yourself In A World Striving For Perfection."

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Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough. 

Transcript

Every morning. Aye. Set 15 minutes aside to read. Classic literature. And the classic literature normally is. Some passages from Tolstoy. James Allen, the Bible. Uh, the doubt a chain. And I use that time to. Really. Pull from. The greatest works. And then I said another 15 minutes aside to. Really reflect on what I read. So the first 15 minutes, I just read straight through. Occasionally I'll pick my head up and. And think about it. But I try to just go through the first 15 minutes or so. Sometimes 20. And then another 15 minutes to reflect on what I wrote. And today was a little bit different. Uh, red. Through it. Tolstoy James Allen data, Ching. Even read. Some of Rick Rubin's work. I am writing anything in my journal. And I have two journals. I have one. That you know, I talk about all the time, which is my legal pad. And that's where it really just free flow. My thoughts. For upcoming episodes ideas. And then I have a regular journal that I use for reflection. And today, man, when I wrote. Or what I didn't write. I read through all those things and just nothing. And I remember several weeks ago. I bought a book. That are really like the author. I read a one of his other books that I'll probably share. Uh, another time. But it's. Hyman. Pseudonym. H a E M I N hopefully I'm pronouncing that right. S U N I M. And the name of the book is love for imperfect things. And how to accept yourself. In a world. Striving for perfection. And I just really love. Is short thoughts. And I think a lot of these thoughts came from tweets that he made. And kind of cobbled them together to make a. To make a book or two, I think he's got a third one coming out. And so I'm going to end this episode. Reading from that passage. And I think it's super important, but I just kind of want to set it up for context and why it meant so much. So much to me. Because as of late. I've been like super frustrated. I feel. Like a spiritual. Tugging. Polling. Not in a bad way. Just frustrated. To the point some days, like you felt like giving up, it's just like things just aren't. Shaping up the way they need to. It's a very real thing. And so I share this with you because not only did it resonate. So much with me that I wrote word for word. And my journal. This passage, man, you short. But this is ironically the things that got me back on track. When I was at my lowest point in life. I would get up out of bed. And I would write word for word. Jon Kabat Zinn was one of the, one of the authors that I wrote from. And I wrote, and I wrote an, a wrote word for word. So that way it could begin to shape my new narrative. So if you find yourself frustrated, If you find that you're not really winning in life right now. I think this passage is really going to help you out. Because for context. I have to remember that success is not solely predicated. On a singular day. It's not predicated on a Tuesday. Our Saturday. And life is cyclical. And it's a collection. Of many days. Of something so much more. So the days I'm frustrated. The days, I feel like lashing out. You got to embrace it. It's part of. The whole and many times when you're frustrated. You're looking at. Something. As a singular lens or through a singular lens. When in fact it's not. So as you'll, as you'll hear. In the writing here. And I think this is a great perspective. And looking at your low points. When you're in a low point. Look at it, not necessarily that you're low. look at it more so that in your low point, that you're building energy. To ride high again. But it's necessary to that when you ride high again. That you don't lose sight. That you were once low life is very fragile. It is. And I look back on times where. Almost ended at all. I mean. I lash. Away from it. And then just fast forward a few days later, or a few years later. Everything's great. Wonderful. But he stays like that, man. I look back and be like, dude, it wasn't that long ago. When you were just like dark. And wanted to end it all. You need the yin and the yang. You need the light in the dark. You need the wins and the losses. You need the losses. To appreciate the wins. If you won every single time, you wouldn't appreciate it anymore. You'd be numb to it. It's just what it's supposed to be. So you need the winds. Or you need the losses to appreciate the wins. But you also need the wins. To push you through the losses. And I think once I read this, then you're going to be able to. Really reshape the lens and how you look at things depending on where you are. If you're riding high right now. Stay tuned. If you're low right now. Stay tuned. Because to Hyman's point, he says, who says storms are actual disruptors. Why don't we have to look at the storms is something bad. Why not just embrace it. It also speaks. Or he also speaks. To the fact that you just. You got to keep working. And you got to keep throwing. Your best today. Because if you do it enough times, You bring about change. So, let me read this to you. And this is something that you may have to go back and listen to a few times. I know I read it several times. I even spoke it out. I wrote it. And I say, man, what's this mean? And it's just a beautiful passage. When your grades don't improve, even though you study hard. When you've spent months putting all your efforts into your business, but it doesn't take off. When you've made efforts to improve your relationships at home and at work, but nothing changes. When you've done everything, the doctor recommended. Bircher illness persist. At such times it's inevitable. That we become frustrated. And depressed. We may try going to church. Temple. Mosque. Or synagogue. To pray for help and ask for advice. But this doesn't result in the quick fix that we were hoping for. When advice, just like do your best and things will turn out fine. No longer brings us comfort. What should we do? First, we need to take a step back. And get a broader perspective. There are times when the sea is rough. And other times when it's smooth. There are days when the sun shines bright. In days of torrential rain. Why do we consider good weather to be the norm? That bad weather disrupts us. Why should the sun always shine on us? The bumpy patch that your own as part of a longer road. And we have to learn to take the rough with the smooth. And see both parts. Is equal parts are of our lives. And when we take a broader view. The present slump. Can be seen. As the trough. Of a wave. Which sinks down to gather energy. It needs. In order to rise again. It's thanks to these low points. That when we're again, riding the crest of the wave, we're able to be humble. Rather than arrogant. And to have the wisdom, not to get carried away. It's also important to make setbacks and opportunity for cultivating compassion. When our life is progressing smoothly, it's easy to credit our efforts and talent. When we see someone who's not doing as well as we are in their work or in their relationships, we naturally assume. It's at least partly their own fault. If their relationships aren't going well. We think it must be due to some flaw in their character. If they can't get a promotion, it's easy to think. That it must be because they don't work hard enough. But the world is like a great web where everything is connected to everything else. No matter how far apart. So how can anything be, do. Solely to one person shortcoming. Isn't it possible. That some problems can't be solved. Even with the greatest determination. that peoples given situation or background. Make some things inherently harder for them than for others. Your will isn't enough to turn your circumstances around. Isn't it possible that other people's efforts? We're no less than yours. Yet, they too, weren't able to solve their problems. Try making your own slump. An opportunity to be more compassionate. Toward others. Who are also struggling. This speaks to me. That. You should give. I just did an episode on this is actually supposed to come out before this one. But I'll. I'll roll it for the next one. This is when you give back, this is when you find your purpose and you give, so when you're in the, when you're in the bottom, when you have nothing left, But just something that you're passionate about. Or something that you're good at. Or something that comes easy for you at heart for others. Give that out, give back. So when you're in your slump, it's counterintuitive, you think it's Batten down the hatches? No. To actually give more. Back to the book finally know that your continuous and accumulated efforts. We'll eventually help to turn your circumstances around. The pitcher Chan hope park. The first Korean born major league baseball player once told me something that sums this up. Whether you were in a slump or riding high, whether fans are cheering. Or heckling. The only thing you can control is the ball that you're about to throw. And though no single ball can do much on its own. Taken together. All the balls you throw are enough to bring about change. Your efforts. However small. Are never in vain. Even the most vicious storm. Runs its course eventually. As long as you hold on and you don't give up. You'll be able to see the sun. Shine out again.