794. "What If You Treated The Unknown As Friend Until Life Convinced You Otherwise?' | The Book Of Charlie

3, 2, 1. Let's get it. Welcome to another episode of the marsh buys podcasts. I'm so happy that either a. This is your first time here. Thank you. For being a part of the marsh vice podcast, I hope that you will subscribe to it. And here. We, we, we talk about a process. And six and five skills. That you need to be RFA ready for anything. And so a simple process. And working that simple process. And incorporating. Five skills. Skills of communication, curiosity, creativity, continuous learning, and productive confrontation. You work those five skills every day. Through a process that works for you, that you work every single day. And I'm gonna talk about that today. You'll be RFA ready for anything. Sea life. It's tough. But you can make it simple. And you can equip yourself. Through mental toughness. Daily actions. It's not about being a Navy seal. It's about just working in the smaller increments every single day. And you'll be ready for it. And you won't run from it anymore. And you'll begin to change your life and bring it into alignment. To fulfill your potential. That's the biggest thing I won't for you is for you to fulfill your potential. And right now you probably don't even know what your potential is, what you think you're capable of. You're capable of so much more. So that's what we talk about on the marsh vice podcast. We are banking on what are we. We're banking in we're coming in for the landing, which we're not going to land. At nearly 800 episodes. This is my sixth year doing it. And so, like I said, if this is your first time here, thank you for coming. And I hope that you'll subscribe to it. And if you've been here a time or 10, if you've been walking with me for the last six years, man. Thanks for coming back. Now I do request one favor from you. If you would. I am on a quest or we're on a quest. Cause I'm in this with you. You're in this with me. To be the top 100 podcasts. In the world right now, we are the top 3% podcasts in the world. And so I want to be the top 100 podcasts in the world. And I want to cut that in half and then want to cut that in half again. And I don't want to cut that half again. And the only way that I can do that is by you sharing the show. Whether it be a specific episode. Or just to show in general. And if you would put it out there on your social media, Share with your friends. Whatever, take a quote, something that means to you. What does it mean to you? Break it down. And share it with someone else because I do believe. In the message, I believe. And I'm living proof. That. You're never out. You don't have to give up. You don't have to settle. There's three things that we're going to face in life. Adversity, uncertainty and complacency. You don't have to accept any of them. And so the podcast. Is what we talk about. To get you. RFA. Ready for anything? So I have something special for you today. I just love this recent book. Uh, it's the book of Charlie wisdom from the remarkable life of 109 year old man. It's it's one thing to be 109 years old. My wife's great. Grandmother just passed away 105 years old, healthy, and whole cush out in the minute. Drank a little scotch and milk. At at, at functions, just, just a wonderful, vibrant person. And there was really man, there was really no sadness because what of, what a fulfilling life, 105 years old. And so really it was a celebration of life. And, you know, right before she passed away, I happened to start reading this book, Tom Hanks recommended it and I'm like, shit. If Tom Hanks recommends it, then. I definitely got to check this book out. And it's written by David. Vendrell hopefully I'm pronouncing his name correctly. And I think he's a writer for the Washington post. And it w. It's a, it's a beautiful story that. Not only Chronicles Charlie's life. But also infuses. Some common wisdom that no matter what walk your own. What season you're in. You can use it. And the thing that jumped out. From this book, a couple of things, and I'll share a couple of takeaways. This one is just going to be one. And then we'll, uh, we'll share it on another episode for the other one. But what if you treated the unknown. As a friend. Until life convinced you otherwise. What if you treated the unknown as a friend? Until life convinced you otherwise. This is a concept. The Charlie white, the 109 year old man embodied. Throughout his life. And he had a tough. Tough childhood man. His dad died. I think when he was nine. His dad fell down. Just a freak accident, fell down the elevator shaft, just ping poned all the way down. I think. Nine stories or whatever, just fell to his death. And so here, Charlie was, had the, become the man of the house. His mom, you know, you got to understand the error that this was back then. You know, she didn't have any specialized skills. She wasn't used to working. So all of a sudden they had to figure things out and she had to figure out how to go to work and generate money. So it's not like he just had it going on from day one. But an interesting thing, Charlie never. Imagine things to be. The same. As you might think. Nor is hopeless. Is, they might appear. So as a young man, Charlie began narrating a story about himself. To himself. And that story was of pluck. And success. Now pluck means courage. And he understood that. Weather. Whether you're sailing to a new continent. Or simply traveling from one day to the next. We're always headed into the unknown. And so he learned to treat the unknown as a friend. Until live convinced him otherwise. Bro. What if you did that? What if you treated. The unknown as a friend. Until life convinced you. Otherwise. What's the story you tell yourself. Is it one of courage. Of spirited and determined pluck. Or have the shadows of fear and failure found their way. Into your narrative. And until I ask you this question, you may not even realize how much. Fear and failure. Have like, like a monoxide gas, just. Just seeped into your life. And you've been inhaling it. And didn't even realize it. And you're just drifting off. Going to sleep. Settling. As I said from the get-go. You're guaranteed the face three things in life. If not every day. I don't care how much money you have. I don't care what your social status is, or three things. Eli Musk. To Oprah. To Benjamin Franklin. Everybody. Faces adversity. Uncertainty. And complacency and how you handle these and embrace the unknown. Is sculpted by the story that you repeatedly narrate. In your heart and in your mind, And that's why I'm here today. Sharon with you. Charlie White's wisdom. Igniting that spark within you. To be a better communicator. To be curious to be creative. To learn continuously. So that way, when you confront the unknown. You have the power to treat it as a friend. To see live. As an ally. Not an enemy. And your journey. Believing is seeing. Not the other way around. As echoed. In the writings of E Cummings. How liberating it is. That once you believe in yourself. You can risk. Risk. Once you believe in yourself, you can risk curiosity. Wonder spontaneous delight and any experience that reveals. The human spirit. Once you believe. Once you believe in yourself. You could take that risk. Of curiosity, wonder spontaneous delight. It's all beautiful. It's all magical. Because I believe in myself. You got to put your faith in you. Not your outcomes. Because the outcomes. They're gonna be all over the place. You could do everything perfectly right. And it go wrong and you can do everything wrong. And some days, dude, it's a crap shoot. It just comes out right. Right. So. You put your, you put your faith in, you. That no matter how bad it may look at the moment. You're playing a different game. You're playing a game of ultimately. And eventually. You have the faith. In yourself. The things will eventually. Begin to line up. Just keep doing it. Eventually. I know it, I believe in myself. Because I believe in myself. I just keep going. And things will eventually line up and ultimately. You're going to succeed. Because the game that I'm playing. It's not till the end of the month. It's not to the first of the year. The game I'm playing the game. You're playing. Is an infinite game. And you got to remember ma'am. If the world seems unkind to you right now. It's a reflection. Of how you're treating yourself. It really is. If nobody's told you that. If the world looks shitty. Go look in the mirror. Cause you're probably treating yourself like shit. So it all starts. With the way that you shape your experiences into your reality. And craft. The story that you're telling yourself, and that's the thing, man. This is the message that I want to bring to you. What is the story you're telling yourself? Is it a story of fear and failure? Or is it to Charlie White's point? A story of pluck and success. And the beautiful thing is. You can change the story at any time. I tell my salespeople. You change your narrative. You'll change your results. And when you change your narrative. Stick to that story. Of pluck and success. No matter what it may look like right now, no matter what it may seem to be. Things are not always what they seem. And they're not always what you feel. How many times in your life have you hit these dead ends? You're like, oh my God, am I going to go under. And you thought this was it. And you popped out the other side. Everything is temporary. If you're telling yourself a story of plus pluck and success. It's permanent. If all you're doing is you're breathing life into fear and failure. That's the story you're going to keep getting. Because that's the narrative that you're feeding. I'm reading Arnold Schwarzenegger's new book. It's kinda cool. It's kinda like, I don't know. I mean, hopefully he's got a lot of life left in his tank, but it's kind of like a farewell book. And they're like, Words of wisdom. So it's kind of cool to see. To watch him over all these years and to have accomplished so many things through so many lifetimes. And now this is just kind of his. Top of the airplane. Standing at the steps like the president does wave to the ground. It's kinda like, that's kinda like how the had the, had the tone feels happy. But kind of like a sign off and in his book. He writes. That. The strength is in the raps. But the gains are in the pain. And sometimes, man, you got to remember that you got to endure some pain. That's what mental toughness is endurance. It means that the quality stays there. And endures the hardships. And continues on. And then on the other side, the quality is still there. If not better. Think about something expensive that you've bought. And it just seems to get better with time. I think it's like called the patina. Like a catcher's Mitt. Thing first when you first buy it. For real stiff. Those of you who play baseball. But it's real stiff, but through seasoning through well-worn plays. The thing just fits like a glove. That's what your life is. You get the strength and the reps. But the gains. Or in the pain, it's always going to be worth it. Nothing's for nothing. The unknown is a friend of you. You got to remember that. The unknown is a friend of you for not to be. I must be convinced. Otherwise. You know what convinced means? It means to be completely certain. And how in the hell can you ever be? Completely certain. If every moment. Is unknown. You're stepping into the unknown all the time. So why not treat the unknown as a friend? Until it convinces me. I'm completely certain otherwise. And you'll never be certain of that. Because. You're always telling yourself a story of pluck and success. Things are always going to go your way. Because. You just suggest for the way. You make the adjustments. Based on the stories you tell yourself. About yourself. My God dude. How hard do we really make life? Based on the narrative that we're telling ourselves. Life and the unknown. Is a process. It's not personal. It's educational. Not evil. It's evolving. And not eternal. You just got to stay alert. And alive. Uh, creating a story. Of pluck and success. And you tell it to yourself repeatedly. Over and over again, when you believe it. You're going to see it. And the story that you tell yourself. It starts with the daily process. And recently. You're within the last year. You've heard me talk a lot. About processes. I have six that I go through every day. Develop your own are you can use my six. It's just a checklist that I just go through. It's like a flight plan. Did you check off all these boxes today? It's not rigid. It's just six topics. But they're flexible. Okay. So, depending on the situation, I don't have to be step one, step two, step three. Sometimes I may. Read. And write later on in the day, sometimes I may write. Before I go work out. Other days. The other way around. So it's not like it's so rigid that I have to follow this. I just have to. I have to just stick with it. And so my, my six, if you want to copy this, go right ahead. Or if you want to tweak it. I would say, keep it between four and six. That way doesn't get overwhelming for you. Cause you gotta be able to rail these out. Wake up at a set time before you go to bed, man, what time are you waking up tomorrow? And you hold yourself accountable. I use the snooze. You know what I use this news for it's nine minutes. From the time I turn the alarm off, I hit snooze and in nine minutes, I've got to brush my teeth. Get the dogs up. And be at the front door. With a cup of coffee, going to walk the dogs, walking out the door. First thing I say, when I walk out the door, I love my life. That's what I say every morning. Don't always feel that way. But always set the tone. So wake up at a set time. Right. One page every day, empty your mind out. And there are other episodes that I've talked more so about this actually, I'll talk a little bit about it here at the end of the episode. Workout. Read read physically from a book. 10 15 minutes. Because it's going to slow this, the only time that you can actually kind of slow things down. And you need to absorb some of that, not just ingest, uh, you know, a video, so read something. From a book, I would say 10 minutes. And do there are times I sit in the car and do it. When I get to work, there are times I'd do it on my lunch break because I didn't get to it that morning. It's okay. I just read something physically from a book and then learn throughout the day. Another part of my process is to share. Let me tell you something, man, everybody's an expert at something. Share your inner bad-ass. This, some of you are great at. Parenting summer, you are good at carpentry. Some of you are good at writing. Speaking. Synthesizing something that you learn and live by, and you share that with others. Some of you are expert at sales, whatever it is, everybody's an expert at something. Share that with someone else pay it forward. And then design your life. Design your life from planning, what you're going to eat that day. So that way you don't just cave to the number six. It, when these spicy chicken sandwich. Um, You don't. You you plan what you're going to wear that day, do it the night before. Take shit 30 seconds. But again, this is just these efficiencies that carry over to so many other things. And then design your life. Your process. And where are you heading? This is what's going to bring you into. Alignment man. This is. Designing. This is what your successful life looks like. A few years down the road. I'm not a big 20 year guy. I don't know what the fuck it's going to look like 20 years from now. But. The things that I talk about and my process keep me in alignment. And so that way. I just. With the process, I just have to win the decision. Cause you're going to have these obstacles that come up through the day. And based on my process. Do they keep me in alignment with my life and if they don't. I don't do it. And so I just have to win the decision. And then go into the next decision. It's really that simple, just when the decision. Five minutes from now. You can either beat yourself up. Are you can. Beat your chest and say we're high. I made it. Did it ain't eat that cookie. I didn't take that drink. And then you start, dude. This is how you. This is how you start increasing. And chasing the effort, man. And boosting your confidence. Things are going to change. They have to. Based on how you shape them. And when your mind and your emotions try to go off on the feeder road and they will. You can quickly. Bring it back on track. But telling a story to yourself about yourself. Of what pluck courage and success. That's it. That's it. So I want to leave you with this. It's not when it'll change. But it's what conditions you create. To allow the change to happen. It's not when. When is of no concern to you. What you do to foster that environment for things to change. Is that process? That's that story. A little line. Eventually. And ultimately. So let's get outta here. Let me leave you with a few actionable takeaways. That will begin to start shaping a new story for you. Number one, write every single day y'all. Guys, I'm sure y'all have is somebody rolling their eyes across the world and be like, dude, if he tells me one more time to write every single day, you do not have to write a Stephen King or John Grisham novel. It's not the kind of writing one talking about that's. If that's your forte great. You don't even need to hear that advice if that's the case. But riding every single day, man, this is going to empty your mind. The clutter it, so that way you can receive a new day writing is very cathartic. Okay. It'll help you think. Clearly. Quicker and deeper. Don't take my word for it. Just do it. Write one page every single day. Just. It may take you five minutes. It may take you 10 minutes. It can be about anything. But right. Every single day, you're going to, you're going to begin as you do this dude, when I did this. Who, what was it? Uh, six years ago, bottom of the barrel suicidal.$11 in my account. I just began writing. I didn't know. I didn't know where it was going to lead. But I'm sharing with you. What has helped me. Writing is meditative. And it's one of the few times. In your day. That you can. Control the throttle for 10 to 15 minutes. And if you lack. You know, You kind of cold Turkey in the mornings you're sitting down. You're like, I don't know what I'm going to write about. Take your voice memo app throughout the days. And record your aha moments, your ideas. Do the things that made you smile, the things that made you gasp. Ideas off the top of your head. But you captured in the moment. You're not going to remember five minutes from now. So capture it in the moment you capture the emotion surrounding it. You can riff off of it. And then that way in your morning sessions. 10 15 minutes. You can write a little bit about it. That's number one. So right. Every single day. Number two, design yourself belief. If you don't have much self-belief right now. Cause ain't shit going on for you right now. Borrow someone else's voice until you can discover your own. And the way that you do that is go to the local library. You don't even have to go to Books-A-Million. Barnes and And pull a book off the shelf, sit at one of those tables. I got a little reading tables all over the damn stores. Pick a chapter that jumps out at you. And write word for word. The sections in that chapter, that mean the most to you. This is how you borrow someone. Else's. Voice. And as you do it, man. And riding that. There's this cycle neural connection. This is why I say right. Don't type it. Because you're, it's almost like a branding iron. That pin is like, Searing into your brain. And so you're writing these things, searing it into your brain. And this is what's going to change. The, what you think about the way that you think and when you can change what you think. It changes what you say and what you say, determines what you do and what you do. Determines. The eventual path. And the ultimate results. Number three. How to change your narrative. How to treat the unknown. As a friend. Until it convinces you otherwise, and it'll never convinced you. Otherwise. Embrace the unknown. What do I say? Analyst's varsity. Embrace uncertainty. I never settled again. But saying that for years, here's a book that says the same thing, but don't take my word for it. Read it from the book of Charlie. So embrace the unknown treat is a friend until it convinces you otherwise. And you're never going to be convinced. Because you're constantly reshaping. So you're taking situations. And you're reshaping it. And you're adapting that story. To a common theme of pluck courage. And success. And the fourth. Check your alignment, whether you do this every day, or you do this. Once a week. What's your alignment based on your processes, did you, did you click all the process? You may have to tweak these processes. Mine is wake up at a set time. Right. Read. Workout. Cher. Design. And 99% of the time, dude, I don't, I can't even tell you a day. That one of those I didn't do. And that reading man. I say 10 minutes. Sometimes it's a page. Some days I'm so mentally drained that I'm just like, well, I want to adhere to the process. So I'm going to read, but it ain't going to be much. Alright. But I got it done. Check the box. This is how you build that consistency this is how you get into alignment in state and alignment and don't allow yourself to drift off Out of alignment Because i'm holding to the processes And my values. What are your values what are the things that you stand for Okay. Your values Or your nouns Your principles are the verbs That controlled now So my values are family Relationship Six part wealth And i say six part wealth because i don't want to be wealthy financially and burn the bridge on everything else It's wealth spiritual mental physical financial emotional And financial if i didn't already say that Mentally physically Financially Relationally Emotionally mentally All right i think i said it right this time And anything else that ends in l y But based on those values that's where they are All right Let's get out of here man i hope this episode really begins to question What you do These episodes make me question They do that's why i record them 'cause it makes me like Ooh. Hold up gut check And i hope it does the same thing for you i just want to i want you to fulfill your potential I want you to get tougher And tougher is not does not mean you have to go through the shitter to get tough no it just means that you have to just you have to embrace it or any handling varsity and never settle again that's all that that's all that means All right So let's get out of here Keep it simple Keep it moving never settle I Stay tough Much love peace