777. The Upside Of Down: Transforming Stress into Success

All right.Let's get it today, ma'am.We're gonna dive into the feeling.Frustration.Boy, we can all relate to that, can't we?Oh, there's a whole podcast on frustration.Absolutely.It's not only a podcast episode on frustration.There's also some huge benefits of frustration if you can't tell by now,man, I'm a silver lining kind of guy,so I'll always try to find something.Where the masses look at certain aspects of our life as hindrances.Those very hindrances are many of the things that will propel you to exponential growth, frustration being one of those.I mean, we've all had these hit the wall moments, right?Something's standing in your way and you are a maximum piss-tivity the directions don't line up with the actions.the teachings don't line up with reality, and you're at these.Breaking points in your life,you're like, this is jacked up, man.You feel like that, that, um,you feel like that the world's picking on you and it's not at all.Instead of seeing frustration as a hindrance throwing your tools across the yard blaming God punching the wall, or anything else, shift your perspective, man.Frustration is the secret ingredient to growth.One of the silver linings of frustration is it shows you where your passions lie.It's a good thing that you're frustrated because it shows that you care about something.If you didn't care and you just shrugged your shoulders and walked away, who will Well, You'll never grow, you'll never succeed because you just turn and walk away from it all.So the fact that you're frustrated is a good thing because you're pissed off you wanna get through this obstacle and put something together.So that's a good thing.So it shows you care.I had a salesman , he, uh, pulled me aside and he said, man, I'm, I'm sorry for losing my shit yesterday.I said, what do you mean?He's like, you know, I just, I just blew up on you.I was just frustrated.I said, that's good.It's a good thing that you're frustrated cuz it shows you care.I would be even more concerned if you weren't frustrated.If you're like, oh, well,I'll get me another customer.No, I'm glad that you're frustrated.I'm glad.because it shows that you care about your customer and your craft.So I can deal with the frustration all day long.Now that you're gonna deal with it, you gotta learn to shape this thing and find some benefits outta the frustration.And that's the source of this episode right here, is to recenter,recalibrate that frustration.Think about moments in your life where you were super frustrated,yet you stayed the course, and today you're glad that you did.You look back on those days and the times that you were super frustrated and nothing was coming together and no one was helping you, and you had to do it on your own, you had to f i o figure it out.And today you're glad that you.That you had those hit the wall moments,you're glad that you were frustrated because look at how far that you've come.Had you not been frustrated and pushed through and fought , where would your life be today?It's because of the frustration, because you were like, oh, no, no, no, no.As bad as you wanted to walk away from it, you came back at it again and again and again, and you looked around and there was still no help, and you're like,Look at where you are today.Thank God for frustration.It's a good thing.Keep going because you have a sense of accomplishment.Now you learned, you grew,you conquered, you won baby.That's the power of frustration.Another facet of frustration is that it creates new challenges for you.How dull would your life be if you won every time?How bland and vanilla?Would your days be if it was the same old thing?As bad as you want things to just stay the same and you wanna win every time.Your life would be incredibly boring.Initially, it's gonna be great, but win after win after win after win easy after easy, after easy, after easy.You'd be like, what's the use?The challenges create the frustrations.And the frustrations give you something to fight for that day.It gives you a cause to push for.It gives you a purpose, a renewed purpose in life.So it's a good thing.Yes, there are days, man, you wish it were easier, understand, but these are the days where you can actually get better.That's what life is telling you.Look man, it's time to level up.And life kind of whispers these things sometimes by you.They just, they just blow these things across your bow and say,Hey, you might wanna level up.The world's changing.You're not your profession is changing.You're not.So it throws these things by you to frustrate you a little bit,to agitate you a little bit.Now, sometimes when you don't take the agitation on, the agitation does lead to frustration, and you're like, wait a minute.It's good.It's good.It's a big wake up call for you.Because in the frustrating times is where, you get to refine your approach and reappraise and take stock not only in your life, but in your situation and be like,man, I've been sleeping on the job, man.I've been sleepwalking through life A little frustrated right now.Good.You've been, you've been coasting a little too long, my friend.So now that you're frustrated, you get to re-look at that thing and take stock.This is where people go wrong.They get frustrated and they go play a different game.They jump to another job, they jump to another relationship.They back up in life, or they just retreat in life and be like, oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take it safe now.This is, I'm, I'm good, I'm good.No, be frustrated.Push that wall.Develop some new strategies, and this is how you become better, man, where you face the mountain and you try to climb it and you skid all the way back down.This is where you say, oh no.These frustrations and when you go back at it and analyze and adjust and push back again, this is what creates these one more mentalities.One more mentality is what you must maintain in all aspects of your life.Just one more, one more rep.One more phone call.One more early morning.Just one more.You don't have to do all just one.Just focus on this one thing.One more question.One more way to approach this.These one mores their frustrating.At their finest.Just one.Just one more.Let me, lemme go one more because you never know.When that breakthrough is gonna happen, and it's the 5000th one more that breaks everything open.It wasn't number 5,000.It was the 4,999 times that you said.Just one more.Now you're gonna have some dead ends in your life, but the dead ends.Aren't really dead ends.They're alive ends.Let me explain the dead ends at their face value look like complete failures and sometimes intensify your frustrations.It's okay.Get extra pissed off.It's all right.One more, go back at it again.These dead ends seem like setbacks.But you're building a reservoir of experience and wisdom.See, sometimes you gotta go way out of the way, and it looked like it was the path that you were supposed to be on and on that path, even though it wasn't the right outcome.Look at the knowledge and skillset that you refined and,and increased efficiencies.It doesn't feel like a win in the moment,but remember, we're playing a long game.The frustration and the dead ends become catalogs of experiences and these lessons that you learned the hard way you couldn't get from a teaching, you couldn't get from a class, you couldn't get from a cliff.Notes.Those of you who are old enough to know what cliff notes are shortcuts,you're cataloging these experiences cuz you never know when you may need 'em in the future and you wouldn't have that reservoir had you not sometimes gone way outta the way and had that dead end.Some things, man, you're not gonna even need for probably 10 or 15 years.Maybe even longer, maybe a half a lifetime, and just when you need it.20 years ago, that dead end that I faced would seem like it was for nothing to today.It's for something and you're like, oh, I remember that.But see, there's nothing to remember if you never experienced it.So you gotta go through these, hit the wall moments.You gotta go way out of the way to point F to get back on track to point B.Don't look at that as a lost cause.Just look at that right now as a catalog of experience.Some days, some way.Somehow.I'm gonna need that.Don't know why.Kind of pissed off right now.Well, actually super pissed off right now.It's all right.Catalog it, bank it,analyze, adjust, pivot.These are your alive ends.You'll need them.Just don't know when.It's not for you to know it all at once.Just bank it.All right.I'm gonna bank it.I'm gonna put it in the, in the account.Never know when I'm gonna need it.Hopefully I'll need it.See out of the way.Moments give you additions and deductions too, because when you go out of the way,You get to add the pluses and minuses.Some things you're going to read about or learn, and when you actually apply 'em, they don't fit.They don't adapt to that situation.That's a deduction.So what worked for someone doesn't really work for you or work for this moment.All right?It's a deduction.And there are some things that, because you went outta the way, You can't use all of that, but you can use fragments of it.And as you readjust and course correct, you can take little fragments, small micro additions.Add 'em back on your course, but then when you put 'em all together,that's the benefits of frustration and perhaps one of the best benefits of frustration.Is how you grow in patience and emotional maturity and adaptability and resilience that resilience, man, I talked about it last episode, 7 76 At resilience is where you get stretched out, yet you snap back in the place . You get stretched and then you develop a new normal boom, boom, boom, a little wider,a little deeper, and that normal from five years ago pales in comparison.To the lake size normal that you got.Now your reservoirs are bigger.You can hold more.I always say, man, you, you can't handle more until you can't handle more.Sometimes you gotta overload situations in the moment, but that's how you increase it.Sometimes you gotta overload yourself where you're super frustrated.It all seems like break apart good because that breaking apart is where things actually break open for you as well.See, these are all benefits, man.Nothing's for nothing.So here's my call to action to you.If you're feeling frustrated, lean into it.Don't take it personal, it's process.Easier said than done.I get it.But as you wrestle with this thing,you'll develop that emotional maturity, and the maturity will come just from going back at it again.The maturity will come, the resilience and the lessons, and the growth will come because you come back at it with a craftsman mindset just, ugh.All right.Lemme find some lessons outta this.Lemme just go back at it.If I can't find a lesson, the the lesson is go back at it.This is the time man to explore, to learn from it, and let these frustrating moments really mold and shape you.It's for something, just don't know quite what.And I will say this, if you're not frustrated, you need to get some frustration.Some things need to piss you off a little bit.If you're having a string of days or a whole month and you didn't get frustrated about something,ooh, better scare you a little bit.Because you need the frustrations to build you up.You need the frustrations to call you out.You need the frustrations to bust you open a little bit to cause new growth to agitate you, so that way you can refine your approach From there,get some new challenges.So let me leave you with a few questions that you can ask yourself when you're frustrated.First question is, what's a recent situation where you felt frustrated and as you write it down, I believe every day you should.You should write at least one page every day.Empty your mind.Doesn't matter what it is, empty out whatever it is that's on your mind,untangle some of these thoughts so that way you're more receptive, more open,more capacity to face the new day.I write every morning,empty that mind out.Some things I use for future episodes.Some days I'm just venting.That's okay.So take one of your writing sessions.10 minutes, man.Set your timer.Answer these questions one per day and see how it shapes out.I'm telling you, when you write these things down, because you have to write 'em, means that you have to put 'em in word form,so you have to contextualize it.So it means you gotta think about it.And put it into words that un spools and un knots, a lot of these thoughts that you have.So think about a time that you were frustrated, and in what ways did they push you to grow and adapt that had you not been frustrated, you wouldn't have grown or adapted.Second question In the past looked like a dead end, when it was really an alive end.In retrospect, it provided these valuable lessons and experiences that have been useful or maybe on the horizon of being useful.List that, what are those thoughts?Write those down.Did you get some new abilities out of it?Did you get a different kind of understanding that you didn't have before?Write that.It's good.It's good stuff.And lastly, what's the current challenge that is causing you to be frustrated?You feel like you're getting lapped in life.You feel like you're getting lapped at work.The youngsters are coming up frustrated cuz new technologies are being introduced and you don't know how to work with them.Frustrated at home, frustrated in your relationships, . Are you frustrated in your mental and physical health spiritually?What's causing you some frustration right now?Remember, if you're not frustrated in some sort of area, you better find you some frustration cuz you need some new growth.You're playing it too easy.You kind of sleepwalking here through life.You don't want it to smack you down.It will, it will find you.You will not go unscathed.Find the scathing, give yourself a good scathing.So the frustration part.What's frustrating you right now?What area?Remember, you don't have to do all just focus on next.So what's one way that I can lean into this frustration and begin to utilize that thing, make the thing a catalyst for growth.and remember, With that, even though you're fighting that bear, sometimes you're growing impatience in emotional maturity.You're learning to adapt and you're getting more resilient, getting tougher, cuz things get tougher.The tough you have right now, it's not the toughest as it'll ever be.It's just tough for you right now.It's equipping you.For new challenges, new levels,but you can't get to that level if you're not equipped.And even if you got to that level,stumbled upon that level, lotteried into that level, you wouldn't be able to stay there cuz you're not equipped, you're not emotionally mature, you're not strong enough, you're not resilient, you can't handle it.In my Jack Nicholson voice, you can't handle.So that's a good thing.It's a good thing that you're frustrated.Who needs this man.Share this with someone else.That's the only thing I ask from you is to share this episode with one person who could use it.This is what's gonna keep us growing.I get frustrated sometimes making these episodes cuz it's like,ah, I get frustrated myself.It's a good thing cuz I come back at it with another damn episode.All right.Let's get outta here.Stay amazing.Peace.