775. Master The Art Of Anticipation. Think Ahead, But Speak Behind.

When working with others.I want you to think ahead, but speak behind.Meaning that you anticipate any sort of objection that may be coming up, any fears, any concerns, you anticipate it, you mentally prepare for it, but you speak behind them and you either let the objections just naturally bubble up organically.Are you asked?Follow up question.And help expose those objections that they may have.This is the speak behind part of it.When you think ahead, but speak behind,it's important that you don't speak to where you think that they may be going.Because see, there's a timing aspect when you're working with others that you have to.. So you have to think ahead,but you speak behind.You stay just a cadence or two behind where you think they may be going.This is a magical moment, when you can help the objection come up.Not all objections, fears, concerns.Most people won't even say it.They won't even tell you what they're thinking.They won't tell you what their fears are.So you've got to learn the art of helping massage those fears.Concerns, any sort of objections, you've gotta help massage those things up.See, it's not a heim, like a heim like is, tell me, tell me, tell me.That's what the heim like, and that's where so many people go wrong is because they're performing the maneuver.Trying to force those objections out.Tell me the objection.Tell me the fear.Tell me the concern.You're trying to force those things out when someone who is artful at thinking ahead, I see where this may be going.I anticipated, I'm mentally prepared for it, but I'm gonna massage it this way, it comes up and I do this by asking follow up questions that may be leading there because there are gonna be times man, where you're asking follow up questions, where you think it's going in a certain area,and then it takes an about face.If you're too abrupt, if you don't respect the timing to it, then you're gonna make a situation more confusing, make it worse,and then it's not beneficial for anyone at all.But when you can learn to, massage.These objections because they're not just forthright coming up.This is magical because , it shows empathy, you understand their emotions, you understand the things that they may be struggling with, yet you don't follow their emotions.You just identify.You help massage with follow up questions,and because you show empathy, they learn to trust you more and they confide in you and reveal what the true objection may be.See, people don't make decisions because they're fearful of making the wrong decision.They don't feel confident enough that they'll make the right decision,and that lack of confidence has just perpetuated in their life.See, making decisions is like a muscle.The more you make decisions,the stronger that muscle gets.This lack of confidence leads to a lack of decision making abilities.This is why people can't make decisions so they stall they don't make new decisions, they either just revert back to what they've always made before.Cuz it's easier that way even though they desperately want a different outcome or they hope that it just actually goes away and then they just move on with life.And however life shapes up is how life, actually shapes.So back to my point, when you can think ahead and speak behind, meaning that you anticipate their fears, their concerns,and you help massage those objections up and it comes outta their own mouth, it builds trust between you and the other person that you're working with, but it also helps build trust in themselves.You kind of start giving 'em their wings, and the more they do it,the better they'll get at it and they'll have a more confident life.Because they'll be able to make decisions.And here's what's even better, even if they make a decision and it didn't lead to the right outcome, they have enough earned confidence that they can recover from the decision by analyzing, adjusting,and aligning with a new course of.What's beautiful about all this?All because you helped them come up with the right decision and it came outta their own mouth.Man.See when you can mentally, physically, and emotionally stay with the other person by thinking ahead, but speaking behind you.Think ahead of the objections,their fears, their concerns.You think ahead, but you speak behind them.You're just a step or two behind them.But I think I know where you're.You're able to to steer and shape their thoughts so that way they can make a better decision, more confident decisions.You're actually empowering them.I mean,think about someone who has done that for you the people that were thinking ahead, yet they spoke behind you.They didn't diminish you , judge you, and They didn't give you the answer.They showed you where to look, and because you made the decision on your own with their guidance, you actually built confidence and that repeated confidence just reinforces itself.and those people that helped you come up with the answer, showed you where to look, and you saw it for yourself and you gave voice to it, and you made decision.Think about how much you love that person, how much you trust that person.See, that's what thinking ahead, but speaking behind is, that's the benefit to it.That confidence builds, builds, builds.So when you're working with others, you gotta remember, man,think ahead, but speak behind.And don't make the mistake.By thinking ahead and speaking ahead.This is where so many people go wrong and they think ahead.but then they speak ahead.This is when they give voice to an objection that the other person may not have ever thought of.You think that you're doing right, thinking that you know where this is going.You speak about an anticipated object.And then they're like, you know, I didn't even think about that cuz you assumed wrong.Thinking ahead.But speaking behind eliminates any sort of assumptions.It does.You anticipate it yet you don't fully assume it.You have a couple of different scenarios where this may be going and through questions, you shape and you guide.Even if it's going to the right,something may be said and all of a sudden takes a whole hard left turn.It's okay.I have the mental and emotional flexibility to pivot, to go whichever direction I need to and continue to ask follow up questions and steer and shape their thought.So that way it kind of narrows the hallway and they can make better decisions on their own.See, that's different when you think ahead, but speak behind you're like an usher.You know?And Usher walks you to your seat.He doesn't point, Hey, it's over there.No.He walks you to the area, he shows you where it is, but you gotta take the final steps.That's what happens when you think ahead, but speak behind.You're thinking ahead.The person that you're working with.You're ushering them to an area,you're showing them where to look.Yet they take the final steps.And they're more confident.You built them up, you make 'em a little stronger, and you empower them to make more decisions from there.I am with this, ma'am, when you think ahead, but speak behind , it's a benefit for both you and them.Number one, you're gonna learn to ask better questions maybe 10% of objections really come out, but 90% of them, when you think ahead, but speak behind,you anticipate different scenarios and because you have to think and really listen to what they're saying.You ask better follow up questions,and you don't have this cookie cutter,oh, I know what you're about to say.No.And you can use this in your own personal relationships as well.This is what forms long lasting deep relationships is because they came to you for the answer, yet you didn't give them the answer.You walked behind them just a little bit.You asked follow-up questions, supporting questions, non-judgmental questions,unemotional questions, showed empathy.And you feel their concerns, yet you don't go down the rabbit hole.You reappraise what they're saying by giving them other perspectives to look at, asking questions related to where you think it may be going,but allow the flexibility for them to make the decisions the.So just remember that think ahead, speak behind.And when you find that you're in a frustrated state, it's probably because you're thinking ahead and speaking ahead and you're just making the situation worse.Slow the pace down.Slow it down.Am I thinking ahead, but speaking behind, or am I thinking ahead?And speaking ahead.This is what gets you out of alignment.This is what gives you poor results.This is what makes you judgmental.People don't like to be around judgmental people.They like to be around people that understand their plight, but help get them through these sticking points.