696. Whatever you do, don't prove them right. | How to handle losing a sale or a promotion.

What if I were to say that being passed over for promotion or losing an account could be the best thing that ever happened for your life. You probably say I was crazy, but by the end of this episode, you're going to re-look at that. As painful and hurtful as being passed over for promotion or losing an account is all the blood, sweat, and tears that you put into it and no shot. They're hurtful, but whatever you do in those moments, Don't prove them right. Don't be so fully charged in emotion and act in such a way where others justified that moment, that you acted out of character and say, that's why we didn't choose you today on the sales life is a confrontation episode and the person that you're confronting as yourself, why were you passed over for promotion? Why did you not get the account? It's an honest assessment. It's a gut check. And I'm telling you if you do this right, it's going to change everything in your life. I speak from firsthand experience, but before we rolled out what today's episode allow me to introduce myself. My name is Marsh Buice and I'm the host of The Sales Life. I believe the number one skill that you need in life to never settle and be ready for anything is the ability to sell, but you don't have to be in sales to learn how to sell. I'll take the 24 years that I've learned in the profession and I'll show you how you can apply these skills to every area of your life. That way you'll be RFA ready for anything. These five skills are already within now. I'll help you develop them. So you'll never go without on the sales life. You'll learn how to negotiate with yourself and others through communication and productive confrontation. You'll also learn the power of curiosity asking questions and not living in statements. When you lack resources, how to get resourceful through the power of creativity And the foundation to it all continuous learning and taking action on what you've learned. So if you're trying to get back up after life has slapped you down, or you're trying to move up because you feel like that life has stalled you out. . Selling. We'll take you there. Life is sales. Sales is life. Welcome to the sales life. Let's get on with today's episode. You know, one of the most gratifying things in the sales profession is when others leave you to pursue other interests and come back just to say hi. And one of my coworkers came by and I hadn't seen him in probably 10 years. And he's done well for himself. Got a great family and is running a store that has finished in the top 10 in the nation repeatedly. And as we were talking, I just noticed his demeanor and I just had to stop him. And I said, you know, your. Zen-like. Like very calm. And I could tell behind his eyes, there was something more there. And he said, yeah, it took a lot of work to get here. I had to learn to manage my emotions And he went on to tell me about the first time he was passed over for promotion. He really felt like he was in his spot and he had done well in learning everything he could about the store. And he felt like when the spot came open for management, he was going to be ready. That was his goal. And so the spot opened up and he interviewed along with another guy. Well, my buddy lost out. and the other guy got promoted the other guy wasn't half as talented and knowledgeable as my buddy was. And I asked him when that happened, how'd you feel? And he said, I was, I was hurt looking at him I could see that he was reliving the emotion I said, what, what did you do? He said, I didn't want to prove them. Right. He said, I didn't want to bail out and go somewhere else. or stir up a bunch of division and confusion within the company. He said, if I would have done that, that would have give them justification to say, that's why we didn't promote you. So he said, I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. I wasn't going to prove him. Right. I rolled up my sleeves and I just kept on working short time later. My buddy's suspicions were true. See the other guy who he lost out to put on a good front, but he couldn't sustain that. He couldn't lead a store. And he was fired spot opened up. And my buddy slid into the management position. And he's been there ever since. As a matter of fact, he's continuing to climb and now he's going for regional manager. So I wish him the best of luck. And after this conversation, it just got me to thinking, you know, there are going to be times very hurtful moments that the ball doesn't bounce your way and like my friend, When you're in one of those moments where you get passed over for promotion, and you know, that you've know that you've know that it should have been you, whatever you do, the number one rule to remember. Is the not prove them. Right. That'll leave a stain that they'll never forget. Use the aftermath to do some aftermath, some calculations, and really do a gut check. Really do an assessment. The first question you gotta ask when you're passed over for promotion, were you really ready? . Truthfully where you really ready? I remember the first time I was passed over for promotion. I was hurt, man. I was like the golden child. I was the heir to the throne. I got satisfied. I got lapped. And the guy that got the shot. He deserved it. I didn't, but it took an honest assessment for me to look at that and say, you weren't ready. So sometimes that's the first thing you gotta do. You got passed over for promotion instead of sitting there blaming and stirring up a bunch of mess and creating your own little posse, have some alone time and ask yourself, was that really ready? Maybe life did you a favor and put you in the copilot seat? So that way you're close, but you're not own, you're close enough to be able to draw on the skills that you need to develop some areas of weaknesses. So that way you'll be ready to lead a team maybe as an employee, as great as you are at bringing consistent results. Can you teach it as a manager? I wasn't the greatest salesperson, but I'm a great coach. I know the psyche. I know what to get you ready for. I know what to expect. I know how to draw it out of you. Can you teach what you know, because when you're in management, it's not, what you can do is what you can collectively get others to do as well. The first challenge I would ask you would be, have you shared all of your secrets? Because so many times in an effort to Excel we learn these things along the way. And because we learn them, they're like Easter eggs, man. We, we pull them in and we hold them and we covet them. They've gotten you successful. Are you willing to start sharing that with others? Now that you've gotten passed over for promotion, use this time to begin sharing those secrets. What are some ways that you deal with difficult situations? Take someone along with you let them see it firsthand and then sit there and talk about it. How do you handle a crisis? How do you handle the fact that you're running out of money? How do you stay organized? Who are your mentors? What books have changed your life? What videos do you always go to when you're just down in the dumps? What podcasts do you listen to see? These are things that you need to be sharing. Which brings me to my second point. You're building an Alliance, an Alliance of individuals who are actually strengthening the store is getting stronger and you're not even leading it from a badge, but you're leading it in their hearts and they see that you take the time out and build them up. People want to belong. And the fact that you start investing in others and sharing what you know, and coaching them along the way, it gives them a sense of purpose. It gives them a sense of someone notices me, because I think sometimes as managers. In an effort to get through a month, a quarter a year, we're so focused on what's on that spreadsheet. Yet we lose sight of the fact of developing the people that have everything to do with the results that go on that spreadsheet. Understand this. Now you're not even in management. Good. So that way you start building that Alliance that way you start learning how to teach others and you don't get frustrated. And snap It's training ground for you. The third point I want to make now that you're passed over for promotion. You don't have the pressures. That management do. You're a protected class, you're just an employee. And because you're in the copilot seat, it was you and the other, trying to get that top spot, they got it. You're not all butt hurt. You're actually helping that other person by coaching others. You can coach them. They can't, you know, they can't do it. You're sharing your secrets. They have no secrets. They BS their way to get to where they're at, whatever doesn't matter, you do your part. And so the fact that you got passed over for promotion and you're in the copilot seat yet, you don't have all the pressures of what a normal manager has. You can learn to spot what they do well. And begin to work on the areas that they don't do well. And thinking to yourself that when I get my shot, this is what I'll Institute. And it may somewhere within that, as the trust develops between you and the person who got promoted, if you can put your ego aside, man, this is a big maturity stage for. Maybe they'll have that trust factor. And then you can begin to implement some of these ideas that you have. If they kick the ideas, no big deal. You're not leading the store. Just pocket them, write them down, record them that way. When you get your shot, you'll be ready for it. What's good about this is when you get passed over for promotion, asking yourself if you were really ready, learning how to teach others, building an alliance, sharing your secrets, developing a core. So when you do get your shot, you won't spend any time trying to convince others. Those who follow you will say, we know why he's here. This is why we're with him. Now what I've been largely talking about is those who were passed over for promotion. But what I'm talking about also applies to those who are in commissions agents and salespeople. Yeah. I'm talking to you too, because I've seen countless times where a salesperson. Has lost the account, whether it be a longstanding account that they had and someone came in and swooped them away, or it was an account that you worked so hard on and you didn't get it. When you don't land the account, or you lose the account, whatever you do, don't prove them. Right. I've seen countless times where salespeople in the beginning were so gracious and so attentive and so easygoing and laughable. I mean, just. They're just vibing with the, with the customer and the minute the customer chooses to go somewhere else, whether it be they don't renew and they go elsewhere or they just don't even go with you at all. I've seen some of the nicest, friendliest salespeople. It's like a Jekyll and Hyde. In the beginning, they were the picture. Perfect agent picture, perfect salesperson. And the minute they were told, no we're going elsewhere. They turn they're calloused. They're cold. They're answers are sharp, short. They're just nasty, rude. And see it's in that moment. You just left a stain, a stain that your customer will never forget about. And actually you acting wrong proves they were right. And they say, that's why we didn't go with him. I'm glad you were angry. I'm glad you're hurt, but live to fight another day, man, you lost the account for a season. Don't do something that ensures that you lose it for a lifetime. By acting out of character and just start slinging mud. It's not going to get you anywhere. It's actually going to make your situation way worse. ' cause let me tell you something, they'll be back in the market. And if your suspicions are right, if you feel like that you lost out to someone else who is way more inferior than you, who doesn't even offer a product as good as you. If you're right about that, let it happen. They made their decision. You continue to work on you in the meantime. And so when that decision comes back around and they realized that that other agent didn't fulfill the promises, or it wasn't the right fit if you act professional the whole time and you continue to cultivate. Then when they come back around, they'll say, Hey, remember me and you'll be ready in these moments, man. This is where I want you to do a gut check. And here's a few things I want you to ask yourself. Number one, when you don't land the account or you lost the account. First question I want to ask you is, did you lose your appreciation? Have you become a little calloused? Because as rejection mounts up, you can get a little cold. Another question you've got to ask yourself, if you lost the account, did you take them for granted in many times? As your relationship matures with that longstanding account, maybe your level of service began to erode instead of evolve over time. The third challenge I would ask. Did you assume, did you assume that you knew what was best for them? or you assume that when they were ready for something more or different, they knew who to come to. Maybe you assumed that and someone else came in and began to woo them and what you were spending most of your time doing is, is chasing new accounts instead of cultivating old ones, the fourth challenge. And this applies to all of us. Maybe it's you, maybe you've just dry rotted and you're using old school techniques, old school tactics. You're relying on old memories, yesteryear, and you've become powdery crusty. You just winging it every day, dialing it in. And there's all this advancement, all this technology, all this evolution happening. And you're like, no, I'm not doing that. Okay. So maybe it's you. Let me wrap up with this , if you take the time and assess these moments and really ask yourself, These questions you'll spot the areas that were blind spots for you, that you missed out, that you eased up and begin working on these areas. So that way you'll be ready for the next opportunity, whether it be a new opportunity. or old opportunities that come back around in either case you'll be ready for them. Thanks so much for listening to today's episode. You want more? I got you covered head over to the home of the sales life. Go to the sales life.me. That's thesaleslife.me and the top right. Are links to all the socials where I hang out and in the bottom, right. Is a microphone from you. To me, leave me a message. Let me know what's going on in your world and how it can help. I'm no hair, but I'm all ears while you're there. Enjoy thousands of free resources from blogs to podcasts and also a link to the YouTube sales life channel. Never settle. Keep selling stay sales life.