682. Build & Fortify Your Mental Armor feat Evy Pompouras

Don't you wish that you wouldn't let people or certain situations get to you. And some of them just don't get to you. They stay with you for decades, even a lifetime. Today. I'm going to show you how you can build your mental armor You're listening to The Sales Life a top 5% podcasts in the world. I'm your host Marsh Buice and The Sales Life is taking the skills that I've learned in over two decades of the sales profession and show you how you can apply these skills to every area of your life. That way you never settle. And you keep selling. Selling is nothing more than persuasion using five core skills, communication, curiosity, creativity, continuous learning, and productive confrontation. So if you want to have more, do more, be more and say no more. Let's get on with today's episode, episode 6 82, but before we do, please help show your support and recommend the sales life to someone else. When it comes to mental endurance and mental armor, secret service agents are the elite of the elite special agent Evy Pompouras was assigned to the presidential detail and went on to write the book, "Bulletproof. Protect yourself. Read people. Influence situations and live fearlessly." You know, I think mental endurance and developing a mental armor, a mental toughness are two key components to living an elite life. When it comes to mental endurance and fortifying mental armor or developing a mental armor, that mental toughness, I think many times when we start talking about that, it's just, it becomes a have, or have not situation as if some people were just blessed to have situations just roll off their back. While others have, it's just like we're holding onto this Boulder and we sink to the bottom of the ocean in life and we just don't accomplish what we could have. It's a daily practice that you can put in . It's not that you got to have this Goggins manifesto or this Goggins mentality it's available to you and me. So how do you build endurance and this firewall of mental armor. So that way you can hang longer, not crack, be accurate And learn to choose. What you allow in and what you leave out and not follow the craziness of these wild emotions, Pompouras writes, that you can learn to become Bulletproof using the concept of hormesis. And hormesis is think of a vaccine like a flu vaccine. When you take a vaccine, it's small doses of the flu virus, that's injected in you to build up your endurance hormesis is lifting weights. If I haven't lifted in a long time. I can't just go in there and bench press 315 pounds. It's a gradual application of increased weights. And so as I apply more weight than actually I can handle more too. Or , those who work with their hands, think of utility workers, city workers, & farmers, they develop calluses on their hands that's hormesis, it's a thickening of the skin. So that way they can actually do more work. They can handle more you've shaken. Somebody's hands. Who, you know, for a fact they do manual labor. You shake my hand, you like that boy, and worked hard day in his life, but there are people that you shake their hands and it's just like, you're shaking a glove. That's where hormesis in effect. So what do you want to be less afraid of? Let's put the hormetic effect to work Pompouras writes, . If you fear public speaking, then start speaking publicly and go into situations to develop hormesis, Start speaking publicly. But remember, this is gradual. These are low doses, low consequences. So you can enroll in Toastmasters. You can go speak at a kindergarten career day, or you can raise the stakes after you do that. Go speak at a high school or university career day. Volunteer and speak to one of the teams about developing a mental toughness about being courageous, getting them ready for a game or even go live on social media. See, these are things most people are are, are afraid of public speaking. I don't like speaking publicly. Believe it or not. I love delivering the communication, but that's still a challenge for me. This is why I go live sometimes because I forced myself -hormesis . Small doses, low consequences, and I'll go live and I'll put something out there, spur of the moment, not fully prepared, but I do it so that way I can connect and develop some new skills. Because I will tell you this at one time or many times in your life, you're going to have to speak publicly. So if you use the hormetic effect now and take on these small doses, you'll be ready you may have to make a presentation at work when it comes to introducing a guest at your job, when it comes to saying the prayer, or even speaking at a funeral, these are all public speaking moments. And instead of like the masses, the 99% of people. So what is it? Most people, you know, right up there with death, people fear, public speaking. Why not push yourself into those situations? Cause you're going to need it. It's a muscle that you're always going to need. This is why make it part of the five CS of selling of persuasion is communication. Cause it's so key and all that you do, or another concept that Pompouras introduces is if you have a big interview, you don't want to just try it out on the big interview and then you, you just bombed the whole damn thing. Instead. Go on a interview rehearsal, or interview rehearsals, where you go on a bunch of other interviews of jobs you don't even want. Let me tell you it was going to be a trip. You'll probably go on these interviews and get offered the job because you give zero F's man. You like, it's not even what I'm here for anyway, but see, you prepare yourself as if it's the big interview. And so you go on these interview rehearsals, you go in there as if it's the big day. And you make the adjustments along the way. So that way, when it comes time to the big interview, you've already gone on five of them. Ready? It's just another one. This is number six, salespeople. The hormetic effect for you is taking on your worst situations, your worst customer. Have someone just bark out those situations that just like, are your Achilles heel, that like when, when a customer hits you with this and live fire will like, you just freeze up or you just don't even know what to do, where to go or instantly get pissed off. See if you, if you do these things in the in-between times and not when it happens, you're never going to be ready for the next situation. If you don't train yourself for the next situation, these are gradual things that you do that keep you fluid and little by little you're layering in and fortifying your mental armor a little at a time, a little at a time, a little at a time, athletes know all about hormesis. This is why they practice. So they put themselves in these situations. So when it comes to game time, it's fluid. It's just part of it. This is what they've trained for. Your destiny is the only other side of fear. Remember, this is a gradual progression for you, and there's five steps that you can take to help fortify your mental armor. Step one Pomporous writes, expose, identify stressors that can help strengthen your mental armor. And when you expose yourself, you're exposing yourself to something that is gradually. Remember, you're raising the stakes. What's the thing that you're most afraid of expose yourself to those environments. What's the thing that makes you, freeze up or , , lose your shit expose yourself to these situations in the offline hours. So you expose yourself to these things they should make you uncomfortable. And if you find that you're at a comfort level, then it's time to raise the stakes a little bit. The next step, is experience. Now that you've exposed yourself to the thing that you're afraid of take notice of your F3 response we have one to three fight flight or freeze. So when you expose yourself to these situations, did you have an aggression about you? Did you flight. , you just wanted to hurry up and get through the situation. So your cadence was so erratic. You freaked out where did you freeze fight flight or freeze you nutted up. the camera came on, you got in front of others and you froze up, it's okay. Just take notice in those things. And this is where most people turn back. Most people are like, ah, I just can't do this. No, you can't do it because you've never sat in the tension. You won't stay with it. You can do this, but you're going to have to do it in small doses. Step 3 is adjust. Now that you've exposed yourself now that you felt the experience fight flight or freeze. Now you adjust, you adjust your cadence. Maybe you just sped through the presentation. Maybe your eye contact was bad. You looked down the whole time. Maybe your breathing was. If you listen to some of my earlier episodes, you will notice that my breathing was a lot more erratic. I'm more comfortable on this because this is 681 episodes later, and I've done another 400 videos. So I've got a thousand rounds that I've done this on still uncomfortable, but I'm better at. Well, maybe the adjustment that you need to make as your tone of voice. Again, referencing back to me, I'll listen to some of my earlier episodes versus now my cadence is different. My tone of voice is different. I'm comfortable with the pauses. I can hold the pause... So now that you've adjusted, step four is overcome, this is where you choose one thing. And you work on that one thing until you're proficient at it. This is that foot work. This is that technique. This is that skill because you may have several areas that you need to improve on in the thing that you're scared of, but taking it all at once, this is where people say, I can't do this because you're trying. You're trying to eat the whole elephant in one bite. What's the one thing what's the most glaring thing that you first needed? Maybe, maybe it's your cadence. Cool. Work on that. One thing, maybe you got a bunch of ums and you knows, and ah's. When you listen to me doing an interview, there's a lot of you knows. Uh, because me doing interviews is awkward for. I'm used to doing solo episodes. So it's pushing myself outside of the comfort zone, because it is new to me. I fill in those spaces instead of being comfortable with the pause , because there's someone sitting there listening or waiting for the next question, and this is something that through the hormetic effect. I'm working on my cadence on those things choose one area, get really, really good at that. And then go to the next thing. This is where you start getting more proficient. And then it's reps. The key to success is reps, reps, reps. Remember that? Step five, the last step in fortifying, your mental armor. Just repeat. It's not only attaining the thing that you were most afraid of, but it's also maintaining it. And this is a constant maintenance. This is not something that, oh, they're check the box. I'm done. No, this is something that's going to be forever. The way that you Bulletproof yourself and you get, you start living fearlessly, you start reading, uh, people better. You start influencing better. Yeah. Developing that mental armor. This is where it's a constant exposure. This is not something, man, that you're just going to be able to check the box. And this is a lifestyle change for you. This is not something that it's one and done. It's going to be something that's going to be constant. It's a constant exposure that is gradual with tension. So a little bit of the time, a little bit of time, a little bit of the. So here's your TSL, never settle. Keep selling question for you. It's an easy one. Easy one to ask hard one to answer for you. What are you most afraid of and how will you apply this five step process? So this is why confrontation. In addition to communication is one of the skills of never settling, keep selling. I put this in there specifically because you have to confront some things. There are some things, remember your destiny is on the other side of your fears. So what is the thing that you're afraid of confront that thing and then expose yourself experience it. Adjust. Overcome rinse and repeat baby, grab a copy of this book, man. There's so many, and we'll probably talk more about this book, um, as time goes on, the book is Bulletproof. Protect yourself. Read people influence situations live fearlessly. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Check the box written by special agent Evie from porous. She's active on Twitter. Be sure and connect with her there. And let me tell you how good this book is. It's got over 2,800 reviews with an average rating of five stars. It's that good? There's so many areas. That you can improve and live an elite life and never settle and keep selling your way through life right here in this book. But it's not just the book. It's how you apply it to your life as well. All right, be sure. And head to the website, the sales life.me. It's just like, it sounds the sales life.me there, you will find over a thousand free resources from blogs to videos, to of course, podcasts as well in the bottom. Right? From you to me, let me know what's going on in your life and how I can help. I'm no hair, but I'm all ears I'd love to hear from you. Be sure and rate and review the sales life. This is the only way that I can help reach more people it's through your ratings and your review. in what the sales life means to you. The rating , shows your support. But the words show you love. Let's get out of here. Remember the greatest sale that you will ever make is to sell you on you because you're more than enough. Stay amazing. Stay in the sales life.