3 Episodes: 802: Embrace Suffering For Success | 803: Unlocking Your Purpose | 804: Unveiling True Toughness

All right. 3, 2, 1. Let's get it. Welcome to another. Episode episodes actually, plural, I'm a drop. You was something a little bit. Different. Uh, so welcome to another episodes. Of what's your problem. I'm your host, mark bias. And what's your problem? Dives into the three problems, universal problems. We all face adversity, uncertainty. And complacency. And in this podcast, we're developing the skills. Necessary to. To cultivate and strengthen. The skills. So that way you can handle the adversity, embrace the uncertainty and never settle again. And those skills all start with the letter C. And they're skills that I learned in the sales profession. That I've actually applied to my personal life because I believe sales is a profession, but selling is a universal life skills. So I'm taking those skills. The communication, curiosity, creativity. Continuous learning and action and productive confrontation handling the conflict. And by listening to this, these are laced with those things. Uh, so that way you can get better at it. Good news is you have all of those skills within, so it's not like you have to go somewhere to get them. You got to pay somebody to get it. No, you have to pay attention. That's the only thing you have to pay. Is pay attention. And see where you're faltering. Maybe it's the communication aspect of it. You're not communicating well with yourself or with others made maybe it's the creativity side of it. Uh, where, when you lack the resources, you don't get resourceful, maybe it's, um, it's the, uh, Uh, communication cure. Oh, the curiosity. Went blank. Maybe it's the curiosity side of it, where you're living in statements. You're making a bunch of statements versus being curious, asking questions of others that goes hand in hand with communication as well. And of yourself. Uh, being a continuous learner, maybe you've stopped learning in your no at all. And not a know at all. I don't, there's more out there that you don't know, then you do know. Or maybe it's the confrontation. So you're not good at handling conflict. You're not good at confronting, not only yourself, but also others as well. So. This week. I am proud to bring you three episodes. I'm going to do something a little bit different. I have part of the frustration that I've had recently. Is, I wish I could get more content out there consistently. I have tons of content. Tons of things to share with you. And sometimes I lack the time bandwidth to be able to get that out in a consistent nature. And so I want to do something a little bit different. Uh, so on this. On this episode is going to be three episodes and one, you get a three in one. So it's three different episodes. Uh, the, you know, initially I'll try to cobble them together where they're relatable. There may be times where one episode doesn't relate to the other one, but. It's necessary to bring you the information it's necessary to share what's on my heart and bring that to you. Um, so these are going to be, this is three episodes. They're going to be chapters. And so you'll have three chapters, so you can dive in and you know, if one of them that you're listening to, you don't have to wait until next week until another episode comes out. You can actually skip to the next one. Um, and maybe there's a time where you just weren't in the season, you skipped over it. You could come back. And listened to it as well. So you're going to find that the episodes are going to be longer. But they're actually going to be shorter because I'm going to try to keep these each one. In that 10 to 15 minute mark. Sometimes I get on a riff. And I go a little bit longer. I try to keep them under 20. Um, cause I don't like for them to get, get, uh, too long. Cause I want to get you in, get you out. And get your own with your life as well. All right. So thanks so much for being a part of the what's your problem podcast. Be sure and share this with others. Um, itch, you're sharing. It's your comments? Um, it's your rating and review. That is the thing that will continue to help grow the show. This is our sixth year doing it, been doing this since 2017, October of 2017. And I just really feel like that. We're just now getting into that groove. Of. Of starting to make some things happen itself. Um, so it's a long slog in podcasting world. It's not something that I think most people kind of fade out after a few episodes and actually I've started. If you, if you, uh, search my name, In the podcast directory. You'll see, I have two other podcasts. That I created. And I just abandoned them because I was just stretched too thin. But I leave them there. Um, because I may do something with them and the parking spot is reserved. So I can always go back to it, change the name of it. And go with something else I've even toyed with the idea of taking some snippets from previous episodes. And sharing that into a quick takes. I think one of the, uh, uh, one of the podcasts that I have. It was first thought, but I was like, man, you know, the first thought I should come with would be to my, directly to my listeners that, uh, have been loyal to me for so many years. So I kind of backed away from that. Um, and, but renamed it from first thoughts to quick thoughts, and I've just kinda just stalled out right there, but it's there I'm toying with the idea, but again, man, it just goes with consistency and being able to be consistent in bringing you not only messages. But there's older episodes that a lot of you have not heard. And I think sometimes snipping those down into a bite-sized clips would give you something. Cause the whole episode, probably in retrospect was not that good because I was just really getting my chops and episode 200. Uh, it wasn't as, as good. I like to think that I've gotten better over the years. And, um, So it's not as good, but the information is there it's worth sharing and, but maybe not the full episode itself. So anyway, Enough about that tangent. Um, so thank you. So we'll rock out without any further delay. We'll rock out. These are three episodes for you. And these go hand in hand, uh, It's about toughness. Uh, what is toughness? It's about suffering. Um, and it's also a about discovering your purpose and discovering your purpose was the first one. I actually. Recorded as our recording this right here. I'll have two new episodes that really, I just, I just wrote this morning. And, uh, and I'll be sharing those with you. The purpose part of it will to be right in the middle. Is one that I recorded a couple of weeks ago and just never have shared with you. But I think it really fits nicely with, uh, with this collection of, uh, of podcast episodes. So with that, keep it simple, man. Keep it moving. Let's grow together. Let's rock out what today's episode piece. As told in Steve Magnises book do hard things. And this is a book, man. I bought. I don't know, probably a couple of years ago and it's been sitting on my shelf and then my random reading. I kept looking at it, kept looking at it and finally pulled it off the shelf and said, let me, uh, let me dive into this book. And the very last chapter was just really profound. Sometimes I'll skip. Different chapters. Um, I went to the last chapter. And read that and it's something I would just really, really want to share with you today. So, um, he paraphrases Victor Frankel and, uh, those of you who know Victor Frankel or don't know it's, man's search for meaning. Um, he survived the atrocity of. Um, The concentration camp, his whole family and wife was wiped out. And, um, he made it and he devoted his life into helping others. Find purpose. And they're suffering. And Magnus relates to it. He said, That. The way to discover. True fulfillment in your life. Not happiness because happiness is fleeting. But true, fulfilling it fulfillment in your life. There's three things that you need. It says Frankl. The first one is creating. It's the act of doing something, whether it's an artistic. Pursuit or to labor of love. The second thing you need to find fulfillment in life. Is the experiential factor. You got to experience some thing. This is where it's the wonder and the all. And you find things that are just fascinating. And you're just, you're there looking at nature and looking at whether it be artistic things or just, just the beauty of it all, man, I was walking the other night and. Really just trying to get it out of the way, walking the dogs. And I just stopped and looked up at the, at the sky, man, all the stars were out. It was cool. And I just soaked it in. I was like, how many. Clear. Beautiful evenings. Have I just bypassed because I was just trying to get it in. So it's the experiential factor. And then, and then the last part. Which will probably shock most people. Uh, key to fulfillment is suffering. Suffering suffering creeds. Meaning. And the meaning. Creeds the freedom to choose. And in reading man's search for meaning, I was really like, you know, who chooses? I don't really understand how you. How you choose? Oh, he's in the worst possible situation. Concentration camp. Basically naked, starving family gone. I'm a, I'm a choose. But in. As I've gotten older and have really digested this and really sharing this. The choosing. Creates the freedom. And it's, it's finding the meaning. Out of the suffering. Magnus writes. It's coming to terms with who you are. And what you face. And you try to make sense of it all. And you find meaning. In the struggle. This means instead of avoiding suffering. The struggle. You have to explore it. And there's a profound. Quote that he makes in this last chapter. Magnus does. Magnus writes. He says, when we explore. Instead of avoid. Struggle suffering. We're able to integrate experience. Into our story. And we're able to make meaning. Out of the struggle. And out of the suffering. Meaning is the glue. That hold your mind together. Allowing you to both respond. And recover. And it stalls. The jump from difficulty to complete despair. From fear and anxiety. To a full blown freak out. And to find that fulfillment. To find the meaning in your suffering. You have to experience it. And you have to change your, your hat from a threat. To more of an exploration. And that's, that's kind of counterintuitive. Isn't it? I mean, when you, when you think of the word struggle, you think of avoidance, I gotta. I don't want to, I don't, I don't want to face that. I want to put myself in that situation, but sometimes man. It just happens sometimes. Sometimes it's created, sometimes it's a culmination of. Creation. And you just get to this point. And you find yourself. Struggling. But out of the struggle and as you experience it and you explore it. You discover a creative outlet. Whether it be. Something artistic. Or labor of love. You find a creative outlet. And this is what develops. Meaning. This is what develops that glue. That holds you together in life. It holds you. At your toughest times in life. Because it's in the struggle. In the experiencing in exploring and you stay with it. And you develop a creative outlet to it. This is your freedom to choose. To embrace the uncertainty. I don't avoid it. To handle the voice. Adversity. I don't hide from it. And you refuse to settle. That's the three tenants. Of why I create. My podcast. To embrace uncertainty, handle the adversity. And never settle again. So every day, man. You got to set out. An exploration. And you don't avoid suffering. Yet you don't create this suffering either. See there's, there's a, it's not, you don't bring it upon yourself. If at all possible. Sometimes, sometimes through confrontation. You got to finally turn in and face it. So you don't purposefully create this suffering. Because suffering will find you. And when it does, man, there are going to be days it's super heavy. And there are going to be days where you had just enough strength. To get through the day. I mean, like, Spitting and sputtering to find your bed. And there are gonna be other days, man, where you gliding. Where it seems like that you've just really turned the corner. And you hope that you've turned the corner. But then you find when you turn that corner, It's a new block. Of issues. And circumstances. And challenges and you're like, fuck. But just stay with it. You stay in the struggle. As I was riding this man, it made me think back. Two, 2017. When I started the podcast, 2000 16, 17, 17 is when a. Uh, kicked off the podcast, but that was a tough, tough time, man. I was dark. I was demoted. I was broke. I was a lonely. And the loneliness loneliness. Is what created the suicidal thoughts? The the toughest thing, man. Was not the demotion. You know what the toughest thing was. Was to come home to an empty apartment. I didn't hear. The kids weren't screaming my name anymore. Daddy's home. He come and run and hug me and tell me about their day. Me and their mom were going through a divorce. Contentious divorce. It's tough. They weren't there. And I've just found myself lost. I didn't have meaning in life. I was demoted. I had no purpose. It seemed. That's when you start to lose your grip on life. I had no clue. And almost checked out. Very close to checking out. And I never thought of myself as a suicidal person at all. And it wasn't that I was going to personally do it. I just hope something would happen and just stop the pain, you know? So it was during this time that I had no choice. But to face. My struggle. To face my suffering. It was literally life or death. I could avoid it. And ultimately I wouldn't be here today. Are you taking on. And ultimately, that's why I'm here today. It's because I took it on. And my life's mission now is to share that that no matter what situation you're going through, man. You got to find meaning out of it. You're going to get through it. And so I found that creative outlet. Which for me was. Communication. Being able to get on a mic. And share my thoughts. It became my artistic. Output my outlet. And communicating that not only helped me get the venom out. But also it helped me. Sculpt. Meaning. Out of the suffering. And. In sculpting that. I'm actually contributing. For the greater good of life. For other people too. Because it helped me realize I'm not the only one. I'm not the only one who has gone through something like this. Your situation may feel like the worst it's because it's your. But when you others talk to you about their struggles and then you always trumpet with, well, you think that's bad. Let me tell you something bad. You mean? Well, You trying to put it in perspective form. But it's their suffering. And they got to find the meaning just like you, you did, you can only share that on the backside of it. That's what it was for me. And the way I look at things, man, if I'm going to go through something. I might as well grow through it. I might as well get something out of it. So I want them, and every episode, sometimes they're going to be actionable advice and sometimes it's going to be called what's your point? And it's the point of this podcast, the point of this episode. And so the point. As you never going to find fulfillment in life. Without suffering. I hate to say it. You can't surf board through life. It's not always going to be great waves. You're going to fall off that board. That wave's going to feel like that you're going to drown. It's going to take you under. But. You got to find meaning out of these things, don't avoid it. You stay with it. You stay in the struggle. Because fulfillment. In the struggle. It's the only path. You explore moving forward. And some days you're going to move forward. And other days you're going to take. Nine miles back. You're still moving forward. It's just life. Resetting you sometimes. Sometimes it's helping you and you don't even realize it. You may never realize it. That's what the Stoics do. They just accept it. And they keep moving forward. I will tell you this. In the suffering, you will make it. You will. As long as you explore. And you keep an exploratory mine. And you don't avoid. It's only those who avoid. Those are the ones who don't make it. Because. They never discovered any meaning. They always tried to find. Uh, destructive outlet instead of a creative outlet. So wherever you find yourself in life, you may be riding high right now. Sufferings coming. Don't avoid it. If you're struggling right now. Get something from it. Your pain. Or your purpose is in your pain. Your platform. Comes from your pain. That's what my platform is today. Everything that I've gone through. That's how I discovered communication, curiosity, creativity, continuous learning, and action, productive confrontation. I didn't come out with those bullet points. Earned them. I didn't come up with the embrace uncertainty handle the university, never settled again. Those were the three things that were causing my demise. The uncertainty faded. Got away from it. The adversity total avoidance. And settling. It's a sneaky monoxide kind of gas. He just settles on you and you just. Low yourself to sleep. And you turn to other vices. Uh, the destructive habits. And I'm glad that I can share with you today. Then I found the meaning. And you will too. So. Keep your mind and your body open today. Just be just explore when you find the fear and anxiety. Creeping up on you when you feel like you just going to lose your shit, man. When you're in despair and hopelessness. Stay in the pocket. Stay in there. You're creating glue. It's going to keep your mind together. It's going to keep your body together. You're going to find solutions. And you're going to discover ultimate meaning. And through that. You'll be able to teach, not only yourself. But also you'll be able to teach others. What you learn through doing. All right. 3, 2, 1. Let's get it. What's your problem today? Purpose. Purpose. And I won't get all biblical on you or anything like that. All woo on you. But hopefully by the end of this episode, You're going to move from being this. Paper bag and a wind. Making these, if then contracts, if this happens, man, my life would be so much better. No. You're going to be a laser guided missile, man. You're going to know, and you're going to wake up every single day. With a purpose. So let's kick that off and let me know what your thoughts are. When you listen to this, you can hit me up at DeSales life. The number1@gmail.com or I'm on all the socials at Marshall BICE, Mar. They are S H B U I C E. So let's, let's rock out with it. Got a little bit of cold today. Little snotty nose, man. And then yesterday I went there to get a crown. I put my mouth to vacation day. You had a crown and they looked at him like, ah, sorry. We can't do it. And they ended up having to extract. Uh, molar all you. My molar all the way in the back. And I was like, oh my God, I've never had an extraction before. Like that. And. I swear. I thought the dentist was going to break my jaw, man. They were like in there with a screwdriver, it was like some pressure. It was a funky feeling, man. So. You know, I was, eh, After it was all said and done. I was like, man, I'm trying to record this podcast tomorrow morning. And I'm like, I don't know. I'm going to know if I'm I have a. A mouth full of galls or what. But I have no goals, man. I'm good. I'm healing. So now I need to get, I guess I got to get a partial. I got to get. A fake molar put back there in the back, but that's not what we're going to talk about today. That's the purpose of having a full set of teeth. Uh, and the purpose of not eating candy, I guess, all those years. But anyway, I digress. So let's talk about purpose, man. And sometimes, man, it's, it's really hard. Really hard to get up in the days. And it's so easy. To give up on yourself. In it. You're the easiest person to give up on. Yet, when it comes time for others. Be it, your children. Your family, your loved ones. Employees. Giving up on them. Seems so much harder. Doesn't it? I mean as many times as you're frustrating your light, that's it. I said I'm not doing anymore. And yet when they need you again. You're back. Wouldn't it be something like. If, if we would take that same mentality. Of not giving up on others. And not give up on ourselves. Where. In these bottom out moment. You like, that's it. I quit. I'm not doing anymore. Yep. 17 minutes later, man. You're like, all right, what I gotta do. And you don't give up on yourself. This is underscores. The purpose. Or the importance. Of having a purpose in life. Because. When you have a purpose in life. It shifts your perspective. From. Feeling like a victim. Which is all about self-centeredness. To becoming more of an active contributor. Towards something greater than you. Having a purpose. Gives you something to fight for every day. You know, it's almost in an most naive sense. It's like. You're one day away from vacation. Right. And you just tired, you beat up. Yeah, the alarm goes off and you're like, ah, I just gotta get through this one more day. And then baby, I'm on vacation. Middle finger. As I'm trying to find my, my, my, my, uh, I'll seat. As I get home. Flight 7 35. To Ken Kuhn. That's what having a purpose is, man. And it's a lot bigger than going on vacation, but that's the sense, man, when you have a purpose, You just, you like. I ain't feeling it today. But as something bigger than you pulling at you. This is why I do the podcast. It's a purpose. It is a mandate for me. And there are days, bro, that I get frustrated. There are days, man, where I'm like, that's it. That's it I'm done. I don't have any time I'm stretched from Allianz. I got a purpose. And I come back to it. And so having that purpose. And having a purpose gives you something to fight for every day. So your situation, your current situation. May look dire. But. There's something about man, when you share. What you got left? The only thing you got. Something that you're good at something that you just lose all track of time at something you just love. And you share that. You take your eyes off your circumstances. And you begin to focus flies. On contributing to others. With no expectation. I'm just giving one. I got. Do when I started the podcast in 2017. Add up. And I phone. And a free app. It was the anchor app. I was demoted. I had 11 bucks in my account and $10,000 a month. And obligations coming up. I was getting swallowed up. And I shared what I had. I had a good mind. I had a creative mind. I love to read books. Our get something from podcast. Infuse it into what it means to me in my life and how I can apply it. And I began to share that. See, I was good. At. Coming up with a message. There were times where they're like marsh, we don't have an ed at work. Like marsh. We don't have a message today, man. Can you, can you go up there? And can you say something, man? These, these guys they're just in a font. Did you get him turned around? And I have the creative muscle to be able to go up there. And whip something up from all the books. And experiences that I've had, and I could put it into a message. I could do that in minutes. No problem. Just on the whim because I was constantly continuous learner. I was constantly creating, writing. Meaning comes up ready? No problem. And when I was demoted, I wasn't running meetings anymore. I was at the bottom wrong. I was low. Felt low. I had to act low. And so I use what I had laughed. And iPhone. A free app. And a message. And every day. I said, I'm going to create a new message. And share it five minutes every single day. Most time, they were a little bit longer. But that's why my messages aren't super long. That's why they're not. Four hours long. It's just never has been my forte. But that's what I'm talking about. See? I didn't base it based on what my circumstances were. 11 bucks in the account got 10,000 mag makes money. I got to get up there. I ain't got time to give a message. And if I'm a, give a message, you gonna pay me for it? No. I had to contribute. The little I had left, which was a lot. And that's why I began to do. And see if you'll develop this. And whatever it is that you do, man, whatever it is that you're passionate about. Don't discount. It don't think that, oh, I mean, nobody won't say it doesn't matter. Somebody out there. I promise you. Loves it like you do. Won't it like you do. So doing that. And sharing that. It takes you out of your funk, man. It gets you out of this. Self-centeredness is room. Hey, nothing productive gonna come. But when you contribute. And you just focus on giving to others. And sometimes it's a somebody in many times, it's a somebodies people that you'll never meet. There are people. Who have. Emailed me. From other countries. Um, one of them was India. Always listen to your message. Thank you. I'm like what India? And I get these messages, man. And like I needed this message. Thank you. I didn't know that. I just gave what was sticking to my soul. And that's what those somebodies are. Don't don't worry about. Oh, is it changing this specific person? Sometimes it will. Sometimes that person's not ready. Sometimes they think they're ready, but then they fall off. Don't get frustrated about that. Just do your part. You just keep contributing. Leave the judgment aside. That's not for you to judge. Judge yourself. Did you contribute, did you share. This is why I work a process that I'll talk here in a minute. I always talk about a process, but it's super important as how important is. But having this man. And giving this. It creates this. It's not for nothing. There was a, there, there is a fundamental truth behind all of this. When you give out of your purpose. Is Creed's capacity. For you to receive more. Your faith is rewarded. It's a crazy thing. It's so counterintuitive, because you would think that. If I, if I give all I have left. Now I'm left with nothing. And that's not a universal truth. When you give what you have left. Your faith is rewarded. You gave it up. You have no attachment to it. You gave it. Hoping that it helps others. You gave all that you had. I think there's a parable in the Bible about that. Lady had nothing. I think it was like, all she had was perfume left or something. And washed Jesus' feet with that or bathe it or whatever. Her faith is rewards. She gave the only thing she had left. I might've just created a story out of the Bible. Or maybe it was maybe I just put two stories together, but you get the point. So that's what I'm talking about though. You just it's so counterintuitive. Counterintuitive R the intuition is to Batten down the hatches. Hold on what you got. Don't let anybody else steal what you got. Uh, life is saying, bro. Open your hands up. Give. And you'll CRE capacity to receive more. This is what I call. Uh, backwash effect. Not many people drink out of each other's Bibles anymore, but me growing up. You took a swig from your buddy. All right, just pass it around. And then the bottle creases backwash stuff is left over. I know this is a little gross. But hang with me here. So creates is backwash effect. You're giving us. So it leaves something behind. For you. So, not only does the other person benefit the other somebodies benefit. But you to benefit. Because. You gave with no expectation. Toward a greater cause. And doing so. Creates these thin layers. Super thin now. Super thin layers of confidence. An elevated thinking. And the more you give, man, it's just like, Just another thin layer that gets laid on top. On top. And before, you know it, man, our overtime, I should say. You're not even worried about the time until, as my timeframe. I just keep. Keep layering. It. And when you do that. Seeds get planted. And you'll be able to harvest. When you need it most. Sometimes when you just, I see most. I should, when you have no expectation, it just kind of hit you. And you're just like, whoa. This is what that is, man. When you give out a purpose. It creates. Coincidence to. And these coincidence is these God winks. These are chance encounters. Unforeseen opportunities. Right place at the right time. You can't be at the right place at the right time. If you're not just working. If you're not just doing. You gotta put yourself in the right place at the right time. And you don't know when that's going to be. You just do your part. And so when you're giving. These coincidences will just pop up. You like. Just so happens. Stuff like that's going to start happening for you. Or, you know what I, I don't, I don't have. I can't, I can't use this, what you're offering, what you're talking about, but I see you doing this. And then it's a whole nother, or have you ever thought about. And somebody sees something in you that you never even saw. You're like, Hmm. I never even realized that. That's what. That's what podcasting has done for me. It has splintered out me just giving freely. Have a message of a meaning. Has created so many opportunities. It created so much more capacity. In deepen me so much and pull me through so much. It's why can't I can't walk away from it. I can't give it up. It's what I'm meant to do. Uh, message. Uh, Mike. Let's go. And there were times man were, yeah, I get bogged down. There are times I get pulled down. There are times I get frustrated. But there was a purpose right up there. I see it. Frustrated. I can't get to a faster. But I'm coming. That's what a purpose is for you, man. I mean, when you talk about that, when you just think about that. You like. What I love. What. We're not just geek out on when somebody asked me a question about X, I just like. I just light up. What is that? At fire, you'd be dead tired, man. Somebody starts talking about that and you're just like, Third gear. Let's go. And you've talked about it forever. And again, I can't stress this enough. Don't judge it. Don't pull you punch. He ain't nobody, nobody cares about that. Maybe. Maybe the people you currently surround yourself with, maybe not. There's several billion people out there. Many bids, what seven. Somebody is going to rock with you on your message. Somebody's going to appreciate your purpose. And then that's going to create a chain event. And you get rewarded. Life just opens things up for you. Creating the. Purpose. Or creating a process, I should say. I'm trying to sit here and get my thoughts together, creating a process. This is why. Creating a process. That's what I said. I was going to talk about earlier, creating a process. If I say creating a process, one more time. You get the slap me. All right. So creating a process. That infuses a purpose. So it just weaves it through. I have a six stage process that I go through every day. It's not directly related necessarily to what your problem, the podcast. To me. Having my own Sirius satellite radio channel is not specifically right now this, but it's heading in that direction. Right. It's heading there. And so if you put in a process. That pulls in. Some of your purpose. And I have six steps. Guys do three or four. Doesn't matter. It's yours. It's your process. But things that not only consistent. Consistently. Better you for today. But align you for higher future self. Along with that purpose. Oh, Magical. And what will happen. Is your elevating as you're contributing. You don't even notice it some days. You know, I was looking back. You know, 2017 was not that long ago. It wasn't. And the time it felt like forever, but looking back. What's the old saying. The days are long, but the years are short. You may be in a long day right now. But looking back years from now, it's going to be like, I can't believe, I mean, this year. It's December. Years over what. Quick. It's what happens. But if it's going to go by. Make sure your purposeful. In how it goes by. Giving of your best essence. Giving of what you just love. Giving, because it just feels right giving because I just want to contribute. I just want to help. I don't want to fix others. You're not here to fix anybody. Okay. You're just there to contribute. A message. Uh, meaning a thought. Uh, visual. An audio version of it, whatever. Whatever it is. You do that? And you do it for the rest of your life. All right. Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Stay tough. If I can help you with your problem. Let me know. Tell me what's your problem. The sales life1@gmail.com. The sales life, the number1@gmail.com. Thanks for sharing and supporting the show. Share this with. Everybody else with someone who needs to hear it, who's kind of just the paper bag in the wind, bro. You need to listen. Oh, uncle marsh. This one's for you. Please share it. This is the only way man. We can help grow the show where top 3% podcasts in the world. And we're just in the warmup, man. We're just getting started because we're just getting into that purpose. It's taken me a long time to discover my purpose on this. Start out. Just kind of as a buckshot, the sales life. And it was all sales related material. That related to life. Then it changed to the March buys podcast. And now it's, what's your problem? At identifies the three core problems, universal problems. We all face at varsity and certainty and complacency, rich and famous. Brogan poor. Everybody faces it. What do you do with it? Everybody faces it. Not everybody knows what to do with it and how to channel it, make it your superpower. And that's what I'm all about. That's my purpose. And contributing to this podcast. So that's it. That's all. March bys.com. It's my name, M a R S H B U I C e.com. There you will find, uh, thousands of free content, previous episodes. Um, There's this is episode 801. So you got plenty to go through. Uh, and find the message that you need for that day. Hopefully it'll, uh, it'll help you out. Share it, if it resonates with you. And then also there's videos. Uh, and some blogs on there too. So if I can help you. You can find me all the socials. Keep it simple. Keep it moving. Peace. All right. 3, 2, 1. Let's get it. What is real toughness. Ooh. That's a heavy question. Steve Magnus wrote that in the beginning of his book, do hard things. And why we get resilience wrong. And the surprising science of real toughness. Magnus writes real toughness. Is about providing the tool set. To handle the adversity. It's teaching. Yourself and others. And there's real toughness. And then there's fake toughness. Well, fake toughness is. That's where you suppressing your fear. Your anxiety. It's where you're avoiding. Reality. Whereas real toughness. Pushes you. To work with your mind and body. Versus push against it. To face reality. To figure it out. And when you figure it out, that means sometimes man, you got to fuck it up. But you figure it out. You keep an exploratory mindset. And you listen and you utilize the feedback. That your mind and body is telling you. But you do it in productive ways to discover. New options. And capabilities. So that you've got to think of the feedback. It's like a microphone feedback, you know, when, when they're doing sound test and go to a concert. They're doing a mic check, right? And when they do that, you hear that feedback. So when they're trying to dial in the sound just right, you get that. That's that feedback. So when they make the necessary adjustments, So. The pitch sounds right. The base. And the voice sound right? So you stay on golden. That's that feedback? And so. Developing a toughness. Is taking that feedback and continuing to work on the dowels of your life. And you're dialing these things in. To look at. Other options. There's always other options. Discover new capabilities. I understand there's new capabilities. And you get that thing dialed in. And I say dialed in, but. It'd be good for a performance or two in life. And then life. Totally makes that feedback. Come back on. You. It goes back again. Oh man. I thought I had it all figured out. Then you got to dial it back in again. It's part of life. It's part of evolving. Back to the book toughness. Is having the space, uh, love that having the space. To make. Magna's rights to make the right choice. Under discover. Uh, under discomfort, I actually changed that. Toughness is having the space. To make the decision. Under discomfort. Because. When you're making a decision, it may not be right. And the reason why I changed that is, is because if you say the right decision, You don't know what the right decision is. And if you think you make the right decision and it turns out wrong with the wrong outcome. You tend to give up in life, you tend to kick the can down the road or you find blame or you just, whatever, do something extreme you saddle. Versus if you make a decision. It may not have the right outcome that you were hoping for. You may not have had all of the information that you needed. You may have gotten to a point where you put in all this work and you failed. Months and hours of contributing and it looks like a failure, but sometimes you had to get to that point. Too. Increase your efficiencies. To root out what doesn't belong there. To maximize your. Efficiencies. And effectiveness. It took getting to that. So that way. You could pivot and go up. So that's why I changed it. Toughness is having the space. To make a decision. So it may not have been, the decision may not have been right. May not have had all the information, but dammit, at least you may get it made a decision. And so when you're creating that space, it's important to note. That you gotta be flexible. That you got to navigate and not bulldoze your way through situations. You've got to navigate through them. They'll just steam. Rolling. It was just gotta steam, right? No. You got to navigate those things. And the author notates. It may mean that you go through around. Or under. It may mean that you have to hold. You hold your position. Until things pass. It takes a maturity. But it's holding, not just for holding sake, not just because you don't want to deal with it. It's holding. To gain new perspectives. But you don't avoid. It's a framing of such that's what toughness is you frame it? Into a decision to act. Under. Tough situations. Doesn't feel good in the moment. And human nature is to tell you to go pacify yourself with indulgences. Pornography. Eating smoking, drinking. Spending extra time at work. Hooking up with somebody outside of your relationship. It's all that extreme go spend a bunch of money. Real toughness. That's fake toughness. Real toughness is framing that toughness. In a productive decision to act. It's more than grit. It's appraising. Let me tell you what a praising is. Appraising is you keep it real. This is what the situation is. You reappraise it. Meaning that you find the spin. You find that positive spin and sometimes man, when you find that spin. It's keeping it real. The appraisal is, this is what the situation is. The reappraisal is okay. How can I spin this? To find some new options and it may mean that you have to have a confidant, somebody that doesn't go down to shithole with you, but somebody who actually challenges you to see things differently. So it's reappraising and then it's reframing. I just did an episode on reframing, go back and listen to it. So good. It's reframing. With new action. This is how you make things always go your way. You just reframe the situation. Because this is a game that you're eventually. We'll line up and ultimately succeed. This is a game that you're playing eventually and ultimately. So it's reframing those situation or that situation. It's a throttling of soar. Of Sorge. Of sorts. This is like a micro macro lens that you're doing everything through. So there was a time that you got to go micro and you got to zoom in, and then there's macro where you got to zoom out. And so you're toggling, you're throttling back and forth, depending on what the situation is. But this is what creates that wiggle room. And this is what creates the necessary space that you need to develop a tool set. To handle. The adversity to embrace the uncertainty and to refuse to settle. And let me tell you something about your toolset. You can't get this at home Depot. And you can't get it at Lowe's and craftsmen does not make black and Decker. Doesn't make the tool set that you need. This is something you've got to earn. You got to earn it. And so that micro macro, that appraisal, that reappraisal, that reframing. Creates that necessary wiggle room. Where you learn. And you begin to teach yourself. And you teach yourself new skills. And, and, and, and understand new challenges. And to get to the challenge mindset. That means you have to change the narrative. And move it from a threat. To a challenge. All right. See what you got. See what I can do. And you make a decision and you move on. This is what's going to develop that purpose for you, man. That's what it is. So like, uh, I want to end every episode. What's your point? I tell you what the point of. This episode is. Toughness is not what you are. It's what you do. And what you do. Creates. Who you become? And the crazy thing is tough people. They don't say they're tough. They don't. And if you call them tough. They'll probably just slap that down and say no. I'm not tough. I just do what I have to do. Our praise it. I keep it real. I don't avoid it. Uh, reappraise it. I find a spin out of it. And I reframe it. I go at it. I faced the moment. I find simple things. That I can do. I don't, I don't, I don't place the Lotus of control on, well, if only I had this and see, this is where you got to empower that creativity is where you got to start asking curious. I said, I'm doomed. That's a statement. That's not being curious. Versus if you say. Ooh, this looks bad. Throw some questions out there. What, what good could I find out of this? What am I options? Okay. If I did lose it all. What would I do then? What skill sets can I take forward? That the bank can't repossess a skillset. They can't repossess my mind. They repossessed my car. Can I get another car? Yeah, I get it at home. Yeah. Can I get another job? Yeah, can't take this. This is how you develop that toughness. See, this is how you see guys, man. They just go through the gutter. They go through the, some of the toughest. That you like. Jesus. How do they do it? They find the simple things they can just take on and start doing that. And the simplicity stacks on top of other things. And they keep it simple as why. And every episode we keep it simple. Because it's the complexity that fucks you up. So when you can just keep things simple. And you just stack simplicity on top of us then simplicity. This is what's going to put you. Eventually into this is where you create a better position. You quit create that wiggle room. That's necessary space. And why you're creating that space. You're developing a tool set. New know-how. New techniques. And you get yourself in a better position. And that positioning. Is what will ultimately help you succeed? C, it took me years to get myself in a position. It's not something that happens overnight and they were days, man. I was just losing in life. I thought I was, I actually, life was pruning me. The losses were actually a pruning. He was taking things out of my life that did not belong. And that would destroy me. And so it was in people. It was in, in habits and vices. It was in thinking. It was in monetary means, stripped it all down. To the base. And then I built up from that base. And I brought my experience over reapplied it in productive ways. And a fight every day, man. To not fall into. At settling mindset reverting back to my old ways, my old ways stay calling me. They're always there. And things will trigger me. Things will go. I just went to a Christmas party last night. I've had no desire to drink. But it triggered me. Well, one glass. Nope. I can't. Cause I know me. And I won't just do one glass that opens up the flood gate. For everything else. So I just, I won't do it. I won't do it. So saying all that to say I've created a position of put myself in a better position that I've worked years on it. That's what I remind myself of when, oh, old-school marsh comes back and says, oh bro, you know, mix in with the crowd, fit, light fit in. Like everybody else. Stop. Being a Teetotaller and just drinking water. Man, get in there with your people. Get in there with your work people. They drink, you drink, they make it. They do fine. You'll do fine. He's a millionaire. He drinks you be that you're not a millionaire yet, but. I worked for him. It won't work for me. It's not in alignment with where I need to be. So. I created years. Or was it creation through years of putting myself in the best possible position and you can get out of position real quick. It takes you a long time to get in position. But it takes. Snap of a finger, one decision to get you out of position. And that outta decision could be something that is catastrophic or it leads to catastrophe. It leads down the wrong road. That's not where I want to be. And if that decision takes me off. The alignment path of who I want to be and where I want to be. The answer is an emphatic. Hell. No. Not doing that. That's what toughness is and toughness, speaking of that, Is also being able to. Face those situations. I wasn't in a dire situation, but I had that mental fortitude to say, I zoom out. I'm. I'm just looking at the big picture here. Where does this lead? Here's where it leads. Straight down. Answer's no. All right. So these are three episodes, man, that you get. All in one, you listened to them. How you want to, if there's something I can help you out with, you have any questions for many of these episodes. Please let me know. But we'll end this episode. Like we do all of them. You just get three in one. Let me know what you think about the new format to keep it simple. Keep it moving. Never settle. Develop your toughness piece.